Registry frustration!

Doddles12

A little background first:
FI and I don't come from wealthy families.  We aren't docotors and didn't just hit it big on the lotto (neither did our families.) We're average folks - simple and practical. 

FI and I went to BBB yesterday and spent about 4hrs doing our registry.  What I thought would be kind of a fun wedding thing to do - not so much!  He wanted to put A LOT of expensive things on our registry.  I wanted more ideal things and things people WOULD buy (that's the whole point right?) 
I'm afraid people will look over this thing and find it to be
1. not very helpful
2. think "Really? $600 pots and pans and a $700 vacuum?"

After leaving the store I felt we got all our bases covered.  Dishes, flatware, towels, bedding, some kitchen goodies...
He now thinks we should go to Macys and register there because, "Todd from work who just got married registered at a few places and thinks we should to."  Todd's parents and his wifes parents are both VERY wealthy, have wealthy relatives and also had an almost 100k wedding. Our wedding is close to 20k.
How do I explain to FI while a $400 coffee maker is great, nobody is going to buy it and I'd rather the $70 one which we need and will work just fine.

Do we need to register at a few different places putting the same towels, bedding, etc on it?  If we're going to register at more than 1 place I'd rather it be 2 different kinds of stores.  Like a Home Depot for a small tool set we could use, flashlights - things you'll need around a home for fixing.

What did you ladies do?  Sorry this is kind of long (

artbyallie

We are not wealthy and had Target, Belk, and myRegistry.com. We didn't have anything over about $150 individually on any of them, though. I don't see anything wrong with having two or three registries if there are things you want/need from different stores. I'd advise against Home Depot though, but only because they don't have a good registry service. It's only accessible at the store you originally make it at, so it's inconvenient unless all your guests are local. I'd recommend Sears if you want to register for tools.

MayDay513

I had one at Target (30 items), BBB (250 items).

Doddles12

Great to know about the places such as Home Depot!  I had no idea.  Sears would be much better. 
And I like the idea of Target!  I never even thought of that.  Thanks so much ladies!

I feel my FI is trying to "keep up with the Joneses" and we are in a totally different book than the Joneses! 

hoffse

We aren't wealthy either.  I am an attorney, but law school debt + rent = vast majority of my salary so we live on a strict budget.  I would say our wedding was aroudn $15K when all was said and done.

FI and I registered for a range - and people were very generous.  It actually surprised me.  We ended up having to add gifts in the $100-$150 range because we got every single thing in that price range we registered for ealry on.  That said, nobody spent $400, not even our grandparents or godparents.  So the $400 coffee maker is crazy.

I would say that you need to strike a balance between your ideas and his.  His are way too expensive.  That said, things like nice pots and pans are popular gifts if you can split them up into separates, and lots of people will spend $80-$120 on a single pot or pan that matches your set.

Something you might want to do is read reviews on these items.  The $700 dyson vacuum gets worse reviews on Amazon than the $200 shark vacuum.  Maybe show those to your FI and he will be willing to scale things like that back.  I read Amazon for reviews because there are people on there that do nothing with their spare time except write very detailed product reviews.  It's great and it's free, unlike consumer reports.  Seriously the $700 vacuum is such an investment that when it breaks (and it will because they all do eventually) you sort of feel obligated to repair it.  I prefer appliances to be semi-disposable, in that I feel like I can replace it once it dies instead of spending money repairing it.  Make point that out to your FI also, and he will get on board with less expensive appliances.

It's fine to register at more than one store, but it's also fine not to.  Totally up to you.  I wouldn't register for too many duplicates between stores because you will likely return a lot of stuff anyway, and the fewer returns you can make the better (we are in the process of that right now, and I'll tell you it's a PITA).

daria24

I think the most important factor in a registry is selecting items you actually WANT and will use. The next thing to consider is that you have a variety of price points. I think it's OK to have one or two high priced items, you never know if a group of people are going to pool their funds to buy a nicer gift. Also, you and your FI might want to take advantage of the completion discount to buy that set of pots and pans. But I would do my research as to whether that higher priced appliance is really worth it, versus a $50 one. 

Doddles12

Fabulous feedback ladies!  I really appreciate it. 

And I never thought of checking out Amazon for reviews on items.  Another great idea!

JennaRoseMay2014

Can you exchange some of the pricey items your FI suggests?  I hate to do that myself, so I ended up keeping some pricey engagements gits that were not practical, but I just didnt want ot hurt anyone's feelings.

AprilH81

Macy's run sales all the time, and people who have the Macy's credit card get additional coupons all the time.

Even without sales/coupons Macy's is not that much more expensive than BBB and their registry services gets good reviews.  If you wanted to do a second registry Macy's is very common and not as expensive as you may think.

fuerst37

We registered at three places--BBB, Target, and Ten Thousand Villages. We had a terrible experience EVERY time someone bought something online through Target. We wouldn't get packing slips, the item would arrive dinged (and they wouldn't order us a replacement without charging shipping), etc. It was awful, and I actually like Target!

To answer your question, multiple spots to register isn't uncommon, but don't just register to register. I think people will get annoyed if you have repeat items (a toaster at both Macys and BBB, for instance).

Similar to hoffse, we had to flesh out our more generous presents ($100-$150) because that's what people are buying. We found no one wants to give a spatula, step ladder, etc. as a wedding present. It makes sense in retrospect, but it took us a while to realize that at least for our social circle, people want to give pretty, not necessarily functional, as wedding gifts.

hoffse

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-frustration?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:75cd76b9-80fc-4791-9668-1b7edbf7dbcaPost:1ded601c-c2a5-453b-96f1-9e2870bf9fdc">Re: Registry frustration!</a>:
[QUOTE]We registered at three places--BBB, Target, and Ten Thousand Villages. We had a terrible experience EVERY time someone bought something online through Target. We wouldn't get packing slips, the item would arrive dinged (and they wouldn't order us a replacement without charging shipping), etc. It was awful, and I actually like Target! To answer your question, multiple spots to register isn't uncommon, but don't just register to register. I think people will get annoyed if you have repeat items (a toaster at both Macys and BBB, for instance). Similar to hoffse, we had to flesh out our more generous presents ($100-$150) because that's what people are buying. We found no one wants to give a spatula, step ladder, etc. as a wedding present.<strong> It makes sense in retrospect, but it took us a while to realize that at least for our social circle, people want to give pretty, not necessarily functional, as wedding gifts.</strong>
Posted by fuerst37[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yep, this exactly.  What really surprised me was the china.  I thought we might get about half the place settings and have that be it.... nope, we got all the place settings, 8/12 accent plates, half the soup bowls, and every single serving piece except the gravy boat.  It was crazy.  Our guests are evidently "buy a gift they will keep forever" type people, and you just never really know what your exact circle does until you watch wedding gifts get purchased.  Some people are anti-registry stalking, but given that we had to replenish our (very large) registry twice, it was important that we were watching it.

</div><div>We registered at Macy's, Pottery barn, Williams sonoma, and a local china shop in my hometown (where the wedding was and which has none of the other three stores).  Macy's got completely cleaned out.  PP's are correct that they have some excellent sales - next week they have a friends and family sale that is 25% off of almost everything, including waterford - and that does NOT happen at other places.  The bridal consultant at my local Macy's actually called me to tell me about it so I could decide what else to buy on my registry.  </div><div>
</div><div>People who are Macy's shoppers know to wait for sales.  Probably 90% of the items bought at Macy's were bought during a sale.  Of all our registries Macy's was the best to deal with by a long shot.  Every item shipped within a day or so and usually arrived at our house within 2-3 days, everything had the correct packing slip and was incredibly well-packaged.  I've seriously never seen so much bubble wrap in my life.  I've started returning a few items, and they just put it on an exchange card that functions like a gift card.  It's very very easy.  We also earned more than $200 in rewards because we have a Macy's credit card that we linked to our registry.  That should be coming in the next 30 days or so, and assuming that actually shows up I will be 100% satisfied with registering there.  My favorite feature is that you can mark items as complete yourself - you don't have to call customer service to do that.  We got a lot of items that we registrered for but that the guest got elsewhere, so we marked them off ourselves.</div>

artbyallie

hoffse, we actually got every bit of our china and crystal as wedding gifts. I was amazed. Granted, I didn't choose expensive pieces, but I was shocked that so many people wanted to buy it for us.

AJuliaNJ

FI wants to register for more stuff when we go to the stores where our registries are. I remind him that we registered for a lot of things we really need, and for every random thing we add while wandering around, that is one less thing purchased that we really need. I have no problem adding things we just forgot in the first round, but I don't like the idea of just walking around Pottery Barn looking for things to register for.

mc4dj13

This is the time of your life when you can go and pick out anything and everything you ever wanted. Careers and checkbooks asside. I wouldnt smurk at someone's registry if I saw they had requested a pure silver tea set. Its what THEY want. To combat people's emotions, hang ups, stigma's about wedding gifts we went to multiple places (Crate & Barrel, Target, and BedBathBeyond) Everyone is free to look and choose what they would like. Mom thought we should have this this...sister wanted to see this this so we just went crazy and put a whole bunch of different things for people to choose. 

Thank goodness for return receipts!