When to use the gifts

jenn5628

This questions is kind of a two-parter, and I appologize if the first part has been answered over and over again (it tried to search 'using gifts' but the search bar decided that 'gifts' was a close enough match so I got way too many matches!).

First, what is the protocol for using gifts that you get.  If you get a gift before the wedding, should you not use it until after the wedding?  Is the same for shower gifts?  I was so excited after my shower that FI and I put the gifts in the cupboard at 9:30 at night the day of the shower and have started using them already.  Hope that's not a faux pas!

So my next question is more specific.  We received our first wedding gift today from FI's aunt and uncle - way early I know (just under 3 months)! I was shocked!  I feel like if it was a kitchen gift, or something similar, then I would put it in the spare room (aka wedding room) and not use it... but this gift is a cheque.  We already decided that any money we receive will go into a savings account for a house downpayment... but should we cash it? Or wait until after the wedding to cash it?  When I write a cheque, I like it to be cashed right away so I can budget.  

Thoughts?? 

vanityink

1) You really aren't supposed to use any gifts until after the wedding. The reason for this is generally practical. If god forbid something happens and the marriage doesn't take place, you have to return all of those gifts. If you have used them, you must purchase new ones to give back. Much money out of your pocket at an already trying time.

Confession: I used some shower gifts before the wedding. But doing so, I was acknowledging that if something went wrong I knew I'd be out the money. I believe it's also supposed to be bad luck to use things before the wedding, but I'm not superstitious, so that didn't bother me.

2) For checks, you should deposit them right away so the giver can balance their account, but it should not be spent before the wedding (same reasoning of having to give it back as above)

cwaggoner07

Ditto to EVERYTHING above. We desperately needed a new iron and coffee maker, so we opened those, knowing full well we would have to replace them. 

stampadhesive

And don't forget, wedding gifts recieved before the wedding should recieve a thank you note before the wedding so that the gift giver doesn't wonder if it got lost in the mail.  And do not do the faux pax of using your married name on stationary or return labels before the wedding takes place. 

aprilpeter12

I agree with the post above. I think you should use the gift after your wedding. It will help you to avoid any unexpected situation and you will be stress free.