My FMIL is very excited about our wedding. My fiancee is her eldest son of two. The younger son doesn't believe in marriage or kids and is perfectly happy with with long term girlfriend so she see thsi as her only chance at a wedding and grand kids.
Although I appreciate her excitement it's a bit overwhelming at times. She's asked me several times over the past few months about what I wanted to wear to the wedding with my response being every time what ever you'd like to wear. She's been talking non stop about a shower since we got engaged as well as the rehersal dinner she wants to host. She wants to know every detail of everything even if I'm not at that point in our planning.
My FMIL is a lovely lady but a touch overbearing at times. She has been nagging us about booking a block of rooms for months now. With an insane work schedule and having a ton of time before my wedding it wasn't a priority for us but promised to look at it in the near future as soon as work settled down. (a few months ago) So she called a hotel and had them send her booking information so she could set it up herself.
When I found out I was a little bummed that she'd gone behind my back after I had told her I was going to do it. We talked about it and chalked it up to her just wanting to help. We decided that we were going to call a few hotels reccommended by our venue and get prices. She was going to get all the information and then we were going to talk it over and make the decision when we came down for Easter dinner.
She waited until we were getting our shoes on to leave that she forgot to pull out the information for us but it didn't matter because she had already booked it. I feel a little hurt. I smiled and said thanks because we were about to leave and standing infront of the whole family. Now she's the primary contact. She's the one who has to add more rooms to the block if needed or make changes, she's the one the call when the block fills up. I know I can't control everything but I don't like being left in the dark. Throughout our entire engagement it's been about her and her family. The way she talks about my role in all of this I am a prop and not a bride.
I've been very careful to to bombard people with my wedding. I've only talked about it if someone elose asks. I haven't asked anyone to do anything with an exception of looking for bridemaid dresses. I don't want to become the dreaded bridezilla as I love my friends and family. I'm worried that if I continue to let her step in and take control of things that she will take over the wedding. I have no problem including her in anything she has an interest in but I don't want to be cut out of something completely. What do I do?