Bridesmaids Hairstyles and Makeup

Miss7May

I don't want to micromanage my MoH and bridesmaids, but I am a little concerned about a couple of things.  The last thing I want is to offend them and be controlling.

One of them wears her hair really, really short. When she first gets it cut it's almost shaved, I think it looks a little nicer when it's grown out a bit.  Is there any way to subtly and nicely let her know I prefer if she gets a haircut a few weeks before the wedding, not right before?  

Another bridesmaid sometimes doesn't always blend her makeup very well (and she wears some bright colors).  Could I give out a little giftbag with makeup in soft colors for all the girls as part of their bridesmaids gifts (and not say anything about them having to wear it for the wedding)?  Or would this still come accross as being pushy?

I know how it feels to be micromanaged and I hated it.  (I couldn't dye my hair and wasn't supposed to tan for a couple months before a wedding), so I really don't want my friends to feel that way.  If I can find something sweet rather than pushy I'll do it.   Otherwise, I won't sweat the small stuff.

csweaney

I'm going to warn you about the onslaught about to come your way from all the girls on here. They don't take kindly to brides who want to micromanage they way their bridesmaids look in terms of hair and makeup. I will try to give you some advice without trying to be as blunt as they normally are. 

First of all, unfortunately I don't think you are going to be able to do much about your bridesmaid with the short hair. How she wears her hair is her decision and I hate to say it but I don't think you can do anything about it without making it awkward. Plus I think if she doesn't get a haircut her hair is going to be scraggly and still short--wouldn't you rather it be well kept and short?

Secondly, if you want to dictate how your other bridesmaids hair and makeup is going to be you have to hire and pay for a hairdresser and makeup artist. This is the only way to make sure things are the way you want them to be. If you're asking them to do their own hair and makeup things may not end up exactly how you want them. 

I'm sorry I couldn't help you more. 

[Deleted User]

I told my girls that basically I don't care how you wear your hair, just that if you are going to use accessories in your hair to go with the white blingy stuff to match the jewelry I had gotten them. When it came to make-up & nail polish I just asked told them that I didn't have any specific requirements for colors or how it was done, just that they don't use any bright colors & that the nail polish compliment the color of their dress. So yes, I did give them guidelines of things I didn't want, but I felt that the guidelines were very strict. I did remind the guys that based on what I've read it would be best if they could get their hair cut about 1 1/2 - 2 weeks before the wedding but anytime they could squeeze it into their schedules would be appreciated. That's all you can do. So was I micromanaging, slighty, but you have to give them some freedom and they will respect you and not embarass you. If you can't trust them to not embarass you, maybe they weren't the right pick.

KatWAG

No you cannot tell your BM when or when not to get a haircut. It's her hair and her body. Same goes for your BM whose make up you don't like. Why would you give her subtle colors if you know that isn't what she likes? It will just go to waste.

If you want your Bms to have their hair and make up done a certain way, you have to pay for it. Otherwise, let them be who they are.

Jessa617

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-beauty_bridesmaids-hairstyles-and-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:358Discussion:ec2850d8-ed25-4ff1-bebf-93e066def15fPost:3f1eb759-1255-4c6a-ad8b-6faaf5d2e0ab">Bridesmaids Hairstyles and Makeup</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't want to micromanage my MoH and bridesmaids, but I am a little concerned about a couple of things.  The last thing I want is to offend them and be controlling. One of them wears her hair really, really short. When she first gets it cut it's almost shaved, I think it looks a little nicer when it's grown out a bit.  <strong>Is there any way to subtly and nicely let her know </strong>I prefer if she gets a haircut a few weeks before the wedding, not right before?   Another bridesmaid sometimes doesn't always blend her makeup very well (and she wears some bright colors).  <strong>Could I give out a little giftbag with makeup in soft colors for all the girls as part of their bridesmaids gifts</strong> (and not say anything about them having to wear it for the wedding)?  Or would this still come accross as being pushy? I know how it feels to be micromanaged and I hated it.  (I couldn't dye my hair and wasn't supposed to tan for a couple months before a wedding), so I really don't want my friends to feel that way.  If I can find something sweet rather than pushy I'll do it.   Otherwise, I won't sweat the small stuff.
Posted by Miss7May[/QUOTE]

To the first bolded- No. There is no "nice" way to tell someone they can't wear their hair the way they want to. You knew this about her before picking your bridal party. You asked her because I assume she's a dear friend to you?

To the second bolded- No. Don't waste your money on buying makeup for everyone. They have certain products, colors and types that they prefer. Unless you KNOW it's a color they wear, and a brand they wear, don't do it.

You say you hated being micromanaged by not being able to tan or dye your hair. You're doing (or planning on it) the same exact thing you didn't like. I think that's a little hypocritical of you. Just leave it alone and accept your girls for who they are.

JoanE2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-beauty_bridesmaids-hairstyles-and-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:358Discussion:ec2850d8-ed25-4ff1-bebf-93e066def15fPost:3f1eb759-1255-4c6a-ad8b-6faaf5d2e0ab">Bridesmaids Hairstyles and Makeup</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't want to micromanage my MoH and bridesmaids, but I am a little concerned about a couple of things.  The last thing I want is to offend them and be controlling. One of them wears her hair really, really short. When she first gets it cut it's almost shaved, I think it looks a little nicer when it's grown out a bit.  Is there any way to subtly and nicely let her know I prefer if she gets a haircut a few weeks before the wedding, not right before?   Another bridesmaid sometimes doesn't always blend her makeup very well (and she wears some bright colors).  Could I give out a little giftbag with makeup in soft colors for all the girls as part of their bridesmaids gifts (and not say anything about them having to wear it for the wedding)?  Or would this still come accross as being pushy? I know how it feels to be micromanaged and I hated it.  (I couldn't dye my hair and wasn't supposed to tan for a couple months before a wedding), so I really don't want my friends to feel that way.  If I can find something sweet rather than pushy I'll do it.   Otherwise, I won't sweat the small stuff.
Posted by Miss7May[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>It sounds to me like you're very superficial and care too much about what your friends will look like.  It's their hair and face, let them do what want and are most comfortable with.</div><div>
</div><div>Newsflash - No one is going to be paying attention to the bridesmaids.....all eyes will be on you and your FI on your wedding day.  

</div>

sarag8r

If you don't want to micromanage, then don't.  If you do, then do.  There's not really a middle ground.  And if you have concerns, then just say so.  Be nice, but since you do seem to want to micromanage, might as well embrace it.  If you are going to be bridezilla, then be bridezilla.  If you don't care, then you don't care.  Pick one and go with it.  I have a few areas that I am really uptight and concerned about, and others I could care less.  Pick your battles but if you battle, just try not to be bitchy but don't be passive aggressive either.  As Nike says, Just Do It!

KatWAG

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-beauty_bridesmaids-hairstyles-and-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:358Discussion:ec2850d8-ed25-4ff1-bebf-93e066def15fPost:71dccb4f-bddc-4e7e-924e-732f7fc5ecc8">Re: Bridesmaids Hairstyles and Makeup</a>:
[QUOTE]If you don't want to micromanage, then don't.  If you do, then do.  There's not really a middle ground.  And if you have concerns, then just say so.  Be nice, but since you do seem to want to micromanage, might as well embrace it.  If you are going to be bridezilla, then be bridezilla.  If you don't care, then you don't care.  Pick one and go with it.  I have a few areas that I am really uptight and concerned about, and others I could care less.  Pick your battles but if you battle, just try not to be bitchy but don't be passive aggressive either.  As Nike says, Just Do It!
Posted by sarag8r[/QUOTE]

What?

There is not a nice way to say your hair looks bad when you cut it or you dont know how to apply makeup.

OjitosVerdes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-beauty_bridesmaids-hairstyles-and-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:358Discussion:ec2850d8-ed25-4ff1-bebf-93e066def15fPost:3f1eb759-1255-4c6a-ad8b-6faaf5d2e0ab">Bridesmaids Hairstyles and Makeup</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't want to micromanage my MoH and bridesmaids, but I am a little concerned about a couple of things.  The last thing I want is to offend them and be controlling. One of them wears her hair really, really short. When she first gets it cut it's almost shaved, I think it looks a little nicer when it's grown out a bit.  Is there any way to subtly and nicely let her know I prefer if she gets a haircut a few weeks before the wedding, not right before?   Another bridesmaid sometimes doesn't always blend her makeup very well (and she wears some bright colors).  Could I give out a little giftbag with makeup in soft colors for all the girls as part of their bridesmaids gifts (and not say anything about them having to wear it for the wedding)?  Or would this still come accross as being pushy? I know how it feels to be micromanaged and I hated it.  (I couldn't dye my hair and wasn't supposed to tan for a couple months before a wedding), so I really don't want my friends to feel that way.  If I can find something sweet rather than pushy I'll do it.   Otherwise, I won't sweat the small stuff.
Posted by Miss7May[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Don't sweat the small stuff, and I'm sorry someone was so pushy with you in the past. (You couldn't get your hair done? Seriously???) </div><div>
</div><div>I gave my BM's the option to get their hair and makeup done with the same artist and team that is doing mine - some are all for it, some are doing their own. </div><div>
</div><div>Our own opinion on "what looks best" isn't universal, so don't say anything and let them be who they are on your wedding day. 

</div>

catchphraz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-beauty_bridesmaids-hairstyles-and-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:358Discussion:ec2850d8-ed25-4ff1-bebf-93e066def15fPost:3f1f5f8a-9c6a-43a9-9947-d526f0121f2b">Re: Bridesmaids Hairstyles and Makeup</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm going to warn you about the onslaught about to come your way from all the girls on here. They don't take kindly to brides who want to micromanage they way their bridesmaids look in terms of hair and makeup. I will try to give you some advice without trying to be as blunt as they normally are.  First of all, unfortunately I don't think you are going to be able to do much about your bridesmaid with the short hair. How she wears her hair is her decision and I hate to say it but I don't think you can do anything about it without making it awkward. Plus I think if she doesn't get a haircut her hair is going to be scraggly and still short--wouldn't you rather it be well kept and short? Secondly, if you want to dictate how your other bridesmaids hair and makeup is going to be you have to hire and pay for a hairdresser and makeup artist. This is the only way to make sure things are the way you want them to be. If you're asking them to do their own hair and makeup things may not end up exactly how you want them.  I'm sorry I couldn't help you more. 
Posted by csweaney[/QUOTE]

This is a great suggestion. Totally agree with it!!

Summer2011Bride

I would do neither of these things. You should not be telling your BMs when to get hair cuts or how to apply makeup. The BM with the makeup you dislike obviously has her own tastes when it comes to makeup and if she likes bold colors, would probably not even use the soft colors you give her, and it would go to waste. Let the girls do their hair and makeup as they please.

dessiemarek

I think it is a easy solution you have hair and makeup done profesionally then they feel pampered and you have control over the overall look. I know it will cost more than giving them makeup to use but it garantees your end result. 

AddieCake

You say you don't want to micromanage but then are looking for a "nice way" to tell them what to do with hair and makeup. Leave them alone about it. 

emeejeeayen

Forgetting the wedding for a second, I actually think if your friend's makeup is regularly not blended (ie, line of demarcation around the face? blush/bronzer/concealer showing significant lines?) that's akin to having food stuck in your teeth. Which personally I would want to know about. Just saying. 

Knottie_22902868

I think the hair style and makeup should match the wedding dress,all of them should be suitable to each other.A beautiful long wedding dress will match noble hair style ,it may make you look more noble and feminine.