Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Few short questions

These are a little odd questions, but here we go:
1. Does my sister (my only bridesmaid/matron on honor) has to wear burgundy? Can she wear a champagne and we bother of burgundy flowers?
2. Would it okay for my mother to wear champagne as well? His mother is wearing brown, and my mom can't find anything she likes in burgundy.
3. When we cut the cake, do we have to feed it to each other?
4. Can we cut the cake as soon as we arrive so it is easier for people to sit down and get a pieces when they are ready for it?
5. Would it be okay if my sister and I had the same bouquet but mine was just bigger?

Thanks for your answers.

Re: Few short questions

  • 1. Does my sister (my only bridesmaid/matron on honor) has to wear burgundy? Can she wear a champagne and we bother of burgundy flowers?
    She can wear what ever color you and her decide on.

    2. Would it okay for my mother to wear champagne as well? His mother is wearing brown, and my mom can't find anything she likes in burgundy.
    They can wear what ever color they want.

    3. When we cut the cake, do we have to feed it to each other?
    Not if you guys don't want to. You can each take your own bites with your own fork. Or no bites.

    4. Can we cut the cake as soon as we arrive so it is easier for people to sit down and get a pieces when they are ready for it?
    Are you having a dessert reception or a reception with a full meal? If it's the first one, then it should be fine. If it's the second one, then it depends. In my family and circle, the cake cutting signifies the moment when people can leave a party. Also, if cake is getting cut, but not served, there is some confusion/disappointment. Guests can always get up and go to the cake later on to watch the cutting.

    5. Would it be okay if my sister and I had the same bouquet but mine was just bigger?
    Sure, if that's what you want.

    All in all, there aren't any right or wrong answers to your questions. A lot of it has to do with preference. These things like dress colors are very minor in the grand scheme of things. Remember, in the end, you and FI will be married, and that's really all that matters.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited April 2013
    1. Whatever color you want is fine. 2. Your mother doesn't have to match with anything; she can wear whatever she wants. 3. No, but your photographer may ask if you want to, just to get that picture. Don't do it if you don't want to. 4. I have never seen a cake cut immediately. I don't think I would do that. 5. Yes, of course.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Yes. Yes to all of your questions. Its your wedding! Do what you want to do! I don't think any of your ideas sound strange or out of the ordinary at all.

    My bridal party wore green, and my mother wore green as well, but not the same shade. She wanted to match, I didn't care one way or the other. It was fine. My MIL wore blue and brown. Some people want to match and some people don't. It makes no difference unless you want people to match for photos.

    I think its best to cut the cake after everyone at the bride's table has finished dinner. Pretty much to mark the change between the dinner hour and the dessert/refreshments/dancing time. It depends on what type of reception you are having. We had an informal buffet style reception with just refreshments instead of a meal, so as soon as the reception began we cut the cake. I just wanted to get it over with.

    You don't have to feed each other the cake, but believe me when I say that your family will pressure you to do it. I hated it but I did it because my mom and my aunt were pouting and get in a huge snit about not feeding each other, and I did not want to have WWIII at my wedding. Luckily my husband knew how I felt about that tradition so he didn't try to smear any on my face.
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    1. Does my sister (my only bridesmaid/matron on honor) has to wear burgundy? Can she wear a champagne and we bother of burgundy flowers? That sounds fine to me.

    2. Would it okay for my mother to wear champagne as well? His mother is wearing brown, and my mom can't find anything she likes in burgundy. They can wear whatever they want.  Personally, I wouldn't wear champagne to a wedding unless the bride asked me to as a BM because it's too close to white, even if I was the MOB.  

    3. When we cut the cake, do we have to feed it to each other? Most people do but no, it's not required.

    4. Can we cut the cake as soon as we arrive so it is easier for people to sit down and get a pieces when they are ready for it? Certainly, that's what we did.

    5. Would it be okay if my sister and I had the same bouquet but mine was just bigger?  That's essentially what mine and my BMs bouquets were like.

  • My first reaction to your post is you need to relax.  Try to go with the flow.  all in all, none of this matters.  The only important thing is that you will be married to the love of your life.  Enjoy it.

    1. Does my sister (my only bridesmaid/matron on honor) has to wear burgundy? Can she wear a champagne and we bother of burgundy flowers? She can wear whatever color you want.

    2. Would it okay for my mother to wear champagne as well? His mother is wearing brown, and my mom can't find anything she likes in burgundy. Sure, whatever she wants.

    3. When we cut the cake, do we have to feed it to each other? No, I think this is kind of a dumb tradition.  We skipped it.

    4. Can we cut the cake as soon as we arrive so it is easier for people to sit down and get a pieces when they are ready for it? Sure, why not?  Our venue does the cake cutting before dinner.  I thought it kind of odd, but whatever.  Since we had cupcakes we didn't do a cake cutting, just posed for photos.

    5. Would it be okay if my sister and I had the same bouquet but mine was just bigger? Sure.  Mine and my cousins were very similar but hers smaller.
  • These are a little odd questions, but here we go:
    1. Does my sister (my only bridesmaid/matron on honor) has to wear burgundy? Can she wear a champagne and we bother of burgundy flowers?
    2. Would it okay for my mother to wear champagne as well? His mother is wearing brown, and my mom can't find anything she likes in burgundy.
    3. When we cut the cake, do we have to feed it to each other?
    4. Can we cut the cake as soon as we arrive so it is easier for people to sit down and get a pieces when they are ready for it?
    5. Would it be okay if my sister and I had the same bouquet but mine was just bigger?

    Thanks for your answers.

    1. Does my sister (my only bridesmaid/matron on honor) has to wear burgundy? Can she wear a champagne and we bother of burgundy flowers? Whatever color you two decide on is perfect, as long as it's not the same color as you
    2. Would it okay for my mother to wear champagne as well? His mother is wearing brown, and my mom can't find anything she likes in burgundy. She can wear whatever color works, again as long as it's not the same color as you. Anything will work. My BM wore brown for my wedding, MIL work Navy Blue & my mom work black & cooper.
    3. When we cut the cake, do we have to feed it to each other? I think it's kind of tradition, but there is nothing that says you have to be mean & shove it into each others face
    4. Can we cut the cake as soon as we arrive so it is easier for people to sit down and get a pieces when they are ready for it? Yes, or maybe wait until after toasts so that way all the guests will be seated and get a nice view of the moment (plus they will be out of the way of your photographer)
    5. Would it be okay if my sister and I had the same bouquet but mine was just bigger? Yes. For my wedding the only difference between my bouquet & my BM was I had a a few white roses added to my bouquet & the ribbon around the stem of mine matched my dress & the ribbon around theirs matched their dress. Made it easier to tell who's was who's.
  • Since this is the traditions board, I just wanted to reference the tradition of the bride and groom feeding each other and what it signifies.  It actually has meaning, not just a photo op or stupid tradition.

    It signifies your commitment to care for one another, to feed each other literally and figuratively, to meet each others needs.  This is why I hate the cake smashing- not only is it rude, but it ruins a beautiful tradition.
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