Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

My two dads-aisle issue-advice needed!!!

I'm looking for suggestions for how to deal w/having two dads who want to walk me down the aisle.  I'd like to only have one person (if any) walk me down the aise and both of them want to do it. 

The Background: My biological father left my mom and I when I was less than one but did come back into my life when I was in elementary school but to put it nicely, he was a jerk-stories abound but I'll keep this short.  My mom remarried when I was 3 and my stepfather has been a real 'dad'-there for me no matter what no matter when. My bio dad and my relatinship has improved and we have traveled together in recent years.  So, I would like bio dad to be involved in the wedding but feel like my stepdad should have the honor of the aisle walk.

The Drama: I read about a bride in a similar situation who had one dad start her walk and the other finish it-so I suggested to my bio dad to have him start me off then pass me onto my stepdad.  He is enraged!  He has said that if he doesn't walk me down the aisle and give me away then he is not coming to the wedding.  I love his side of the family and feel that he sees this as an I'm chosing my stepdad and would cease communications etc. What should I do???? 

Re: My two dads-aisle issue-advice needed!!!

  • edited April 2013
    I think your bio-dad's response makes your choice clear: pick your real dad (step). Tell him you were really torn but his threatening to not even come to your wedding shows that he hasn't changed as much as you thought or something to that affect.


  • He needs to recognize that he was not your male role model because of his own actions. His love for you should always trump his selfish desires (in situations that are about you and NOT him).

    If he ceases to be a part of your life because you want to recognize the man that was there for you, that is on him and a reflection of him. He gave you an ultimatum, so give him one: he either will walk you half way or not at all.
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  • Avoid the drama and have your Mom walk you down the aisle or walk down the aisle by yourself...
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  • I hate it when parents issue ultimatums, like this. Tell him you're sorry he feels that way, but your SF will be walking you down the aisle. He can share the honor with him or not, his choice. By the way, if you cave to this demand, he will probably make others.
  • tlc35tlc35 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Agree with sydaries, when he gave an ultimatum, he showed his true colors.  He should be putting you first and not himself.  I think you should tell him he can walk you halfway or he can not be involved.  His choice.
  • you could just have both of them walk you down the aisle and then give you away. That is what I am planning to do.
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