Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

No rehersal dinner?

I am getting married next May and just spoke to our venue who let me know that since they are so busy with events they typicaly do not do rehersals.  Our wedding is on a Saturday and if we insisted on doing a quick rehersal it would have to be held the Wednesday before the wedding (half our bridal party is from out of town so that won't work)  I am coming to terms with that fact that the rehersal at the venue is probably not necessary (I will be going over the ceremony with our officiant at another location just to make sure things run smoothly)

Since we won't have an official rehersal Friday evening we are now discussing not having a rehersal dinner.  I hate the idea of not having one because of tradition however my finace insists we should just let it go and not have one.  I was personally looking forward to spending extra time with the bridal party since most of them are from out of town and our time together is very limited.

Whats your take?  Should there be something before the wedding or does it matter? Are there alternatives?

Thank you!

Re: No rehersal dinner?

  • Think of the money saved on the rehearsal dinner that can be used for some extras at the wedding or instead just stay in your bank account.  :)  You could organize an informal night-before get together with your bridal party if you want to spend time with them.

  •  If you plan to go over the ceremony with your officiant at a different location, can you do this with your wedding party & make it 'like' a rehearsal? Or as close as you can get to one? Maybe it's possible to do this the day before your wedding when everyone's there? This way everyone's on the same page with what to do the day of, and you can still have your rehearsal dinner. If not, I'm sure it's not a big deal to give your bridal party the details to how the ceremony is going to go vs having a rehearsal. Personally, I would still say to have the rehearsal dinner to thank your wedding party. Or even a bridal party lunch, which would generally cost a little less if you're wanting to save $$. It's just a nice way to thank everyone for being by your side through everything leading up to your wedding day, as well as get time to visit before hand. :)
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited April 2013
    I certainly wouldn't bother with the dinner if there is no rehearsal. If you want, you could go to dinner with JUST your bridal party and then not have to worry about parents, grandparents, etc, and at least save some money. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It's totally not necessary to have a dinner if you don't have a rehearsal, but I wouldn't have skipped ours.  I really enjoyed the relaxed dinner with our WP the night before.  Half our WP was from out of town, and we don't get to spend as much time with them as we'd like, and the whole wedding day was so crazy busy that we didn't get to spend much time with anyone.  

    If you have it in the budget and you want to do it, go for it.  You don't have to do anything fancy or spend a ton of money.  Inviting everyone over for pizza would work.  
  • If you don't have a rehearsal, then there is no reason for a rehearsal dinner. But that doesn't mean you can't host a dinner.
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_no-rehersal-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:f2395b9f-aa4d-4e15-92eb-5bbd866c5c30Post:f3fb536a-685b-4c9a-bf9b-f86f5d9414f5">Re:No rehersal dinner?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you don't have a rehearsal, then there is no reason for a rehearsal dinner. But that doesn't mean you can't host a dinner.
    Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

    <div>Ditto.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_no-rehersal-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:f2395b9f-aa4d-4e15-92eb-5bbd866c5c30Post:f3fb536a-685b-4c9a-bf9b-f86f5d9414f5">Re:No rehersal dinner?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you don't have a rehearsal, then there is no reason for a rehearsal dinner. But that doesn't mean you can't host a dinner.
    Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

    I guess I wonder if you want a rehearsal.  Do you?  It seems weird to me that your venue can't make more accomodations, and Weds. is the best they can do.  Did you not ask them till the last minute?  I suppose if the wedding is pretty straightforward, it's not necessary, but if you are having readings, musical interludes, a sand ceremony or whatever, won't a rehearsal help everyone know the flow? 

    If you really don't feel you need or want to rehearse, I say to do a casual, optional get-together Friday PM. Maybe cocktails and appetizers at a bar near the hotel of your OOT folks?

    Congratulations on your wedding, and good luck!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_no-rehersal-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:f2395b9f-aa4d-4e15-92eb-5bbd866c5c30Post:33ecac61-4b62-448a-bfec-4854bf023087">Re:No rehersal dinner?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:No rehersal dinner? : I guess I wonder if you want a rehearsal.  Do you?  It seems weird to me that your venue can't make more accomodations, and Weds. is the best they can do.  Did you not ask them till the last minute?  I suppose if the wedding is pretty straightforward, it's not necessary, but if you are having readings, musical interludes, a sand ceremony or whatever, won't a rehearsal help everyone know the flow?  If you really don't feel you need or want to rehearse, I say to do a casual, optional get-together Friday PM. Maybe cocktails and appetizers at a bar near the hotel of your OOT folks? Congratulations on your wedding, and good luck!
    Posted by Ella and Pedro[/QUOTE]

    <font face="Times New Roman" size="3" color="#000000"> </font><p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#1f1f1f;line-height:115%;font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';font-size:8.5pt;">I ended up decide that yes I do want/ we do need a rehearsal of some sort. Since the venue can't accommodate us and it seems fairly straight forward we will be having the rehearsal in a conference room at the hotel where most of my guests are staying (I know how romantic lol).<span>  </span>After we will probably do as you suggested a little cocktail hour appetizer get together with the bridal party. Thanks for the advice :)</span></p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3" color="#000000"> </font>
  • norag_4norag_4 member
    Sixth Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper
    I am not having a rehearsal dinner. I am having a rehearsal though.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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