Siblings

rdunn88

My finace and I are just starting to work on picking our bridal party. He has a sister and I have two brothers. Is there anything wrong with us not asking the other's sibling(s) to stand by us? Personally, I do not care for his sister at all...might even go as far as saying I hate her (which I feel bad about but she has worked her way into that position).

AddieCake

You pick your nearest and dearest. Don't choose people you are not close to.

misssunshine17

You shouldn't feel obligated to ask anyone. Ask those nearest and dearest to you. 

ETA: I understand where you're coming from though! It's a hard place to be. Listen to Addie (or PM her like I did because she's got great advice!)

itzMS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_siblings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1ca3b929-b4bb-464c-ba2a-fb7cfaab6fbfPost:4137fa77-f073-4c90-a674-23b943f9f604">Siblings</a>:
[QUOTE]My finace and I are just starting to work on picking our bridal party. He has a sister and I have two brothers. Is there anything wrong with us not asking the other's sibling(s) to stand by us? Personally, I do not care for his sister at all...might even go as far as saying I hate her (which I feel bad about but she has worked her way into that position).
Posted by rdunn88[/QUOTE]

My DH has 2 brothers and 2 sisters. None of them were in our wedding party.
 
Each of you can ask whomever you'd like. He can have women (sister) on his side, and you could have men (brothers) on your side. It doesn't matter!

ETA: If your wedding isn't until November 2014, you should wait until at least January 2014 to ask your bridal party.

MayDay513

Pick your nearest and dearest. My sister is in our wedding party, my FI's sister (one of 5) is in our wedding party. However, my brother is not a wedding party member and we are all totally fine with that.

rdunn88

Thank you all so much. Now any advice on how to get along with his sister when you don't care for her at all?

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_siblings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1ca3b929-b4bb-464c-ba2a-fb7cfaab6fbfPost:cb13ce9e-6fc9-4eab-b81d-5b4d9f74c21f">Re: Siblings</a>:
[QUOTE]You shouldn't feel obligated to ask anyone. Ask those nearest and dearest to you.  ETA: I understand where you're coming from though! It's a hard place to be. Listen to Addie (or PM her like I did because she's got great advice!)
Posted by misssunshine17[/QUOTE]


Awwww! I was happy to help. You were my first PM that wasn't to ask where my venue was. Hahaha!

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_siblings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:1ca3b929-b4bb-464c-ba2a-fb7cfaab6fbfPost:13437b4d-5682-4d9f-bbcd-bb94f8e3ef81">Re: Siblings</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you all so much. Now any advice on how to get along with his sister when you don't care for her at all?
Posted by rdunn88[/QUOTE]

I'd advise minimal contact.  Don't try to force a relationship.  Smile and try to be sincere when you are together.  And stick to the old adage "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".  If she's really toxic cut down contact as much as possible.

I don't have a SIL, but my mom has spent her 30+ yr marriage with a SIL who made it clear from day 1 that she didn't like her.  She made comments frequently in the early years about how my mom thought she was better than the family (which she doesn't) and how she was "Johnson-izing" (fake maiden name) my dad.  I never saw that part of the family more than twice a year; even less after age 10 or so.  hmmm... wonder why that was?

kerbohl

Sounds like someone you will have to have a "grin and bear it" relationship with.  I hate those relationships, but sometimes you just got to do it for family, whether in-laws or otherwise.