Daughter to walk me down.

janniamackey

I have 15 year old daughter is going to be given me away. The dilemma I have. I don't know what she should wear. I have bought two dress for her. One of them to knees and is wedding dress that is white with a red sash in middle. The other is summer wedding dress with black one shoulder strap. I am not sure if its right if she walk down aisle in white. But I want her to look like me this is just as much as her day is mine. She will be taking his last name after we get married. I have already paid for both but thinking about buying another. Help Me

misssunshine17

I would think it was weird if your daughter wore a wedding dress. I understand you want her involved, but this is not her wedding day and it is inappropriate to treat it as such.

Why don't you both go shopping and pick out a dress together?

itzMS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_daughter-to-walk-me-down?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:71d26c0a-0c7e-4831-8d4e-7d487a293601Post:953e3d5f-5c8e-40dc-a344-ffc0a727d4ab">Daughter to walk me down.</a>:
[QUOTE]I have 15 year old daughter is going to be given me away. The dilemma I have. I don't know what she should wear. I have bought two dress for her. One of them to knees and is wedding dress that is white with a red sash in middle. The other is summer wedding dress with black one shoulder strap. I am not sure if its right if she walk down aisle in white. But I want her to look like me this is just as much as her day is mine. She will be taking his last name after we get married. I have already paid for both but thinking about buying another. Help Me
Posted by janniamackey[/QUOTE]

Okay. I'm sure your intentions are fine. But, she is 15, not 5.

What does <em>she</em> want to wear? When I was a sophomore in high school, my mom never ever picked out my clothes, prom dresses, etc.

1. Your daughter can escort you down the aisle, but it is very inappropriate to use the terminology that she is "giving" you away.

2. Please let her wear what she wants. It's already difficult enough to be a teenager.

3. Does <em>she</em> really want the future stepfather's last name? That seems like a totally out of the ordinary thing for a 15 year old to want.

4. Does she know her bio-father at all? (or, does she have the hope to try to connect with him when she becomes an adult?) If so, I could see it as really damaging to that relationship if you over impose step-father on her.

5. What will happen, god forbid, if things don't work out for you and this man? You've had your daughter change her name, too?!

6. She's an individual, and needn't look like a clone of you.

ETA: I feel really bad for this teenage daughter, unless there is more to the story. Are there really extreme meddling mothers like this out there?

Maggie0829

Your daughter is 15 so she should have say in what she wears.  She does not have to look like you.  She should look like herself.  Which of the two dresses does she like?  Does she even like either of them?  Honestly, I think you should take her dress shopping with you.  She is old enough to make a decision on what dress she would like to wear to your wedding.

itzMS

OP, using your full name as your user name is probably not safe. Internet safetyz and all.

P.S. Honeymoon registries are really in poor taste. And that newspaper article about you pinching people on St Patricks Day in 2003 is kinda weird..

QueerFemme

Have her wear whatever she wants.  I don't think a white wedding dress with a sash is a good idea though, because as much as you think this is just as much about her as it is you, it's actually not.  This is YOUR wedding day, where you are marrying YOUR future husband.  Even if he legally adopts your child and she changes her name, the wedding day is about you and him.  Not her.    Wedding ceremonies are about consenting adults.

It's perfectly fine to have her walk you down the aisle. And, I would take her to a nice department store and let her pick out whatever she wants to wear.

LiLe422

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_daughter-to-walk-me-down?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:71d26c0a-0c7e-4831-8d4e-7d487a293601Post:d76fc0bb-7c14-4bec-adb1-cbd345cb1156">Re: Daughter to walk me down.</a>:
[QUOTE]Have her wear whatever she wants.  I don't think a white wedding dress with a sash is a good idea though, because as much as you think this is just as much about her as it is you, it's actually not.  This is YOUR wedding day, where you are marrying YOUR future husband.  Even if he legally adopts your child and she changes her name, the wedding day is about you and him.  Not her.    Wedding ceremonies are about consenting adults. It's perfectly fine to have her walk you down the aisle. And, I would take her to a nice department store and let her pick out whatever she wants to wear.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

Cosigned,
LiLe

Andplusalso, please listen to Ms and scrap your current account.  You cannot change you user name, so you will have to create a new TK account. 

julie650

I like your intentions, but while her life is changed because of this union, the ceremony itself if about you and your FI. I think it would be nice if you took her to pick out a pretty dress of her own, maybe one that is obviously nicer in quality that will allow her to still stand out but in a different way (although that obviously isn't necessary). I think you might find it more rewarding to spend a day together, picking out a dress. She'd probably enjoy that and it's a time to make memories/create her own moment geared towards your wedding.