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Wedding Party

Too late?

My wedding is October 4. It was always well known that FSIL and my sister would be my BMs, so as soon as I got engaged they knew (and accepted) being in my BP. I asked my oldest friend a few months later and she said yes. I'm now debating whether it's too late to ask my other really good friend - I consider her my best friend. I didn't ask her when I asked my other friend because we weren't quite that close. We were friends, but not really super close friends. I asked her to be a reader awhile back and she said she's think about it (a little stage fright) but would love to if she could. She hasn't brought it up again and neither have I. 

I wanted to give all the background information there so you lovely ladies could have some more to go on. At this point would it be offensive to ask her to be in my BP? I really don't want to offend. I wouldn't be offended, but different people think differently so I wanted to get some more opinions. Would you be offended to be asked to be a BM this late in the game?

CN: I've had a 1.5 year long engagement. FSIL and sister were asked to be BMs from day 1. Childhood friend was asked a few months later (3 or 4 I think). Is it too late to ask now-
BFF yo be a BM for an October wedding? She was not asked earlier because we are not that close until a little while ago.




Re: Too late?

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I think if you preface the question with saying something about how you feel that the two of you have been closer over the past few months and that she means the world to you then I would ask.  Just asking out right may come off like you are in need of a spot filler which you aren't but it just may come off like that.

    And if she is up to it she can always still do the reading even if she is your BM.

  • Awesome. Thank you to you both! I'll make sure to say something to the effect of what Maggie said. Also good to know that she can do both a reading and be a BM! 




  • Agree with Maggie- if you phrase it right it's perfectly fine.  You aren't doing it to replace her or anything, you are doing it because you genuinly want her by your side.

    PS- Your avatar is really bad for my diet- every time I see it I want a glass! Laughing
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_too-late?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:763b2e05-a89d-413b-9a75-e1ce3afe5390Post:654a7a7d-2353-4fd8-9ca0-ccc8e5b3da30">Re: Too late?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Agree with Maggie- if you phrase it right it's perfectly fine.  You aren't doing it to replace her or anything, you are doing it because you genuinly want her by your side. PS- Your avatar is really bad for my diet- every time I see it I want a glass! 
    Posted by hgminor[/QUOTE]

    <div>Haha I'd love a glass of wine right now!</div>




  • I think it's totally fine to ask her now but do you think she'd want to if she was unsure about doing a reading?  I'd feel more in the spot light as a bm than as a reader.  
  • winelover123winelover123 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_too-late?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:763b2e05-a89d-413b-9a75-e1ce3afe5390Post:79f3eac0-ecdb-4016-81b0-41fbc631e284">Re: Too late?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think it's totally fine to ask her now but do you think she'd want to if she was unsure about doing a reading?  I'd feel more in the spot light as a bm than as a reader.  
    Posted by MrsGandthebeag[/QUOTE]

    You have a point there. I can give her the option of doing one or the other or both - whatever she's comfortable with. I don't think she'll have a problem with saying no though if she's not comfortable.




  • Yup, I agree with Maggie.  Just be honest with her, she probably feels the same way about having grown closer.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

    image

    Anniversary

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_too-late?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:763b2e05-a89d-413b-9a75-e1ce3afe5390Post:d2256293-44c3-4981-97b8-bf8ae0011f23">Re: Too late?</a>:
    [QUOTE]"I really regret that I didn't ask you to be a bridesmaid months ago.  I can't imagine getting married without you beside me.  Would you consider stepping into my wedding party?"
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
    Great wording. Thanks! I'm planning on giving her a call tonight.




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