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(Too?) Expensive Bridesmaids dresses

So, I have picked bridesmaids dresses from J Crew. Mainly because I think that they are pretty, classic, and the flowy style that I am going for. Plus, they have different styles in the same fabric so that the girls can pick what suits their unique body type. Problem is, they are $250.
I discussed the price with my bridesmaids, and all of them agreed by basically saying, "it's your wedding, do what you want". I know that they are pricy, so I gave them ample time (over 6 months) to get the dress. I also offered to help with the cost for anyone who absloutely cannot pay that price, although no one said they couldn't.
I am paying for professional hair and makeup, and my only requirement is nude shoes, don't care if they're flat, heels, from the dollar store, whatever. I know most of the girls have them. So basically the only expense IS the dress.
No one has come out and said it, but I feel like I may be getting a little bit of pushback on the price (only from one person, so far). Should I pick new dresses?
If someone had expressed a problem I would have maybe tried another route, but no one has come out and said anything?
Am I asking way too much of them?

 

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Re: (Too?) Expensive Bridesmaids dresses

  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Hmm, my question is whether you discussed the budget with your BM's before you picked the dress. It can be hard to say "no" after you've been told about the dress as opposed to putting in an opinion on how much it should cost first.
    pinkshorts27Blue_BirdPrettyGirlLost
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I think what you did is fine. You asked about the price and they said it was okay.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would suggest that they keep an eye out for sales. At JCrew they are rare for the bridal dept but they do happen.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    lodele47
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_too-expensive-bridesmaids-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e6b6f65b-0f4a-4138-b10b-fc1cdd6133d1Post:1dabff53-e9cf-4733-bb5f-4c5a7822c477">(Too?) Expensive Bridesmaids dresses</a>:
    [QUOTE]So, I have picked bridesmaids dresses from J Crew. Mainly because I think that they are pretty, classic, and the flowy style that I am going for. Plus, they have different styles in the same fabric so that the girls can pick what suits their unique body type. Problem is, they are $250. I discussed the price with my bridesmaids, and all of them agreed by basically saying, "it's your wedding, do what you want". I know that they are pricy, so I gave them ample time (over 6 months) to get the dress. I also offered to help with the cost for anyone who absloutely cannot pay that price, although no one said they couldn't. I am paying for professional hair and makeup, and my only requirement is nude shoes, don't care if they're flat, heels, from the dollar store, whatever. I know most of the girls have them. So basically the only expense IS the dress. No one has come out and said it, but I feel like I may be getting a little bit of pushback on the price (only from one person, so far). Should I pick new dresses? If someone had expressed a problem I would have maybe tried another route, but no one has come out and said anything? Am I asking way too much of them?
    Posted by kefryar[/QUOTE]

    If you are getting pushback, I think you should pick a new BM gown.

    Send an email to your entire group saying, generically, "I think the gowns that I have picked out are too expensive and would like to pick new ones.  Please send me your budget for the dress privately to me and I will then pick one that's within everyone's budget."

    Can you post a link to the dress?  Maybe we can help you find a simliar, yet lower priced option.
    Blue_Birdbrandi902PrettyGirlLost
  • they are the silk chiffon bridesmaids dresses from j crew-not just one, but the misty rose color
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_too-expensive-bridesmaids-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e6b6f65b-0f4a-4138-b10b-fc1cdd6133d1Post:d70c8aec-969e-41cf-9e7d-fe0d2335457e">Re: (Too?) Expensive Bridesmaids dresses</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to (Too?) Expensive Bridesmaids dresses : If you are getting pushback, I think you should pick a new BM gown. Send an email to your entire group saying, generically, "I think the gowns that I have picked out are too expensive and would like to pick new ones.  Please send me your budget for the dress privately to me and I will then pick one that's within everyone's budget." Can you post a link to the dress?  Maybe we can help you find a simliar, yet lower priced option.
    Posted by OliveOilsMom[/QUOTE]

     

  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    My bridesmaids wore JCrew and were okay with the price.

    Each situation is unique, though.

    Personally, I'd rather pay a bit more for JCrew than wear David's Bridal or something cheapie any day.
  • I think $250.00 for a BM dress is too much.  If you are getting pushback, then at least 1 person agrees.   Maybe you should try checking Alfred Angelo or Mori Lee for more budget friendly options.  They both have dresses that are flowy and classic, and they tend to run about $125.00-175.00
    PrettyGirlLost
  • I'd email/ask each BM privately what their budget is. Maybe someone's budget has changed and that's why you're getting push back now.




  • I've been in alot of weddings over the years, and I think 250.00 is pricey for a BM dress, with all that they also have to pay, but your being awesome by offerring to pay for hair and make up, I had to pay for my dress, shoes, hair and make upso all in all I probably paid about 250 to 300 dollars for everything and I was in 7 weddings. GL
  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Did they agree with the price before or after you picked out the dress? In other words, did they agree to $250 or did they agree to the dress you picked and asked about? I can easily say no to $250 but it's hard to be the one to say no to the dress you picked out. They're probably all hoping someone else will speak up.



    Anniversary
    image

    image
    Blue_BirdPrettyGirlLost
  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_too-expensive-bridesmaids-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e6b6f65b-0f4a-4138-b10b-fc1cdd6133d1Post:abf9f3b5-d4b9-4d7e-9403-05f1b1013586">Re: (Too?) Expensive Bridesmaids dresses</a>:
    [QUOTE]Did they agree with the price before or after you picked out the dress? In other words, did they agree to $250 or did they agree to the dress you picked and asked about? I can easily say no to $250 but it's hard to be the one to say no to the dress you picked out. They're probably all hoping someone else will speak up.
    Posted by Dreamergirl8812[/QUOTE]

    <div>Okay, what I posted earlier? Pretend it said this.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_too-expensive-bridesmaids-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e6b6f65b-0f4a-4138-b10b-fc1cdd6133d1Post:abf9f3b5-d4b9-4d7e-9403-05f1b1013586">Re: (Too?) Expensive Bridesmaids dresses</a>:
    [QUOTE]Did they agree with the price before or after you picked out the dress? In other words, did they agree to $250 or did they agree to the dress you picked and asked about? I can easily say no to $250 but it's hard to be the one to say no to the dress you picked out. They're probably all hoping someone else will speak up.
    Posted by Dreamergirl8812[/QUOTE]

    <div>This.  If you asked each girl her budget privately, and each said at least $250, then you're fine.  However, it sounds like what might have happened is that you picked out the dress and then asked the BMs if they were okay with the price.  It would have been harder for them to say no in this case, especially if they were all in a group.  If you're getting pushback, I would reconsider.</div>
    PrettyGirlLost
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    It sounds like you went about this backward - picked out a dress and then asked them (individually?  all together?) if they were okay with the price.  Instead you should have asked them each, privately and individually, what their budget for a dress was, including or not including alterations. 

    You don't get bonus points for not requiring them to purchase specific shoes or pay for hair or make-up.  The only thing they should be required to buy is the dress, which should be picked out with their budget and comfort in mind.



    PrettyGirlLost
  • Everyone spends their money differently, so while I think $250 is outrageous for a dress, particularly one that may be worn once, I'm sure that there are people who wouldn't bat an eye.  It also might not be the only wedding related expense for them--they might be planning a gift for you, a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, a hotel if your wedding is out of town for them, etc. Honestly, though, the bottom line is that it's their money, and they get to have some say over how it's being spent, even if it's just to say, "hey, I only have __ to budget for this."

    I'm not sure whether you presented the dress before or after you asked what they could afford, but I'd encourage you to have a conversation with each of them to find out where they stand. Even if they are saying "it's your wedding and we'll do what you want," a conversation is worth it. Yes, it's your wedding, but it's also your friendship.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • It does sound like you picked the dress and then asked them if they were ok with the price.  Saying "it's your wedding, do you what you want" is something I'd say if I wasn't fully ok with spending that kind of money.  (I would not be ok spending that, btw.)

    For me, if I was asked BEFORE the bride had a dress in mind, I would say $250 is way too much.  If she asked me AFTER she had her eye on a dress, I would be less inclined to say that's not ok.  $250 is a lot to pay for a one-time wear dress for someone else's event. 

    Talk to your girls separately, ask for a budget, and start over.  I like what PP suggested-can you show us a link to the dress?  We can help you find something similar and less expensive, but that you'll still love! 
    PrettyGirlLost
  • Thanks for all the advice. I decided that since one person seemed unhappy with the price, I would change the dresses. For those of you whe were asking for a link, here is the link to the j crew dresses. <a href="http://www.jcrew.com/wedding/Wedding_Bridesmaid/silkchiffon/PRDOVR~29286/29286.jsp" rel="nofollow">http://www.jcrew.com/wedding/Wedding_Bridesmaid/silkchiffon/PRDOVR~29286/29286.jsp</a>
    I can't really find anything comparable, so i'll probably just go with something entirely different.
    I wasn't trying to win brownie points for having hair and makeup done, I was simply stating that the dress would be (as it should be) their only expense.
    We still have a while to go, so there's no rush on picking out the dresses, but I am looking for something breezy, chiffon-y, and relaxed.
    My wedding is in a barn and by dress is the super unstructured arabelle dress from j crew, so something too elaborate would look strange.
    Thanks again, I'm open to ideas!

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_too-expensive-bridesmaids-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e6b6f65b-0f4a-4138-b10b-fc1cdd6133d1Post:2165efae-51e0-4186-9da6-b08690ba1922">Re: (Too?) Expensive Bridesmaids dresses</a>:
    [QUOTE]It does sound like you picked the dress and then asked them if they were ok with the price.  Saying "it's your wedding, do you what you want" is something I'd say if I wasn't fully ok with spending that kind of money.  (I would not be ok spending that, btw.) For me, if I was asked BEFORE the bride had a dress in mind, I would say $250 is way too much.  If she asked me AFTER she had her eye on a dress, I would be less inclined to say that's not ok.  $250 is a lot to pay for a one-time wear dress for someone else's event.  Talk to your girls separately, ask for a budget, and start over.  I like what PP suggested-can you show us a link to the dress?  We can help you find something similar and less expensive, but that you'll still love! 
    Posted by wittykitty14[/QUOTE]

     

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_too-expensive-bridesmaids-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e6b6f65b-0f4a-4138-b10b-fc1cdd6133d1Post:fe2ad0fd-57ba-44ed-ab97-ee961ec685e5">Re: (Too?) Expensive Bridesmaids dresses</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for all the advice. I decided that since one person seemed unhappy with the price, I would change the dresses. For those of you whe were asking for a link, here is the link to the j crew dresses. <a href="http://www.jcrew.com/wedding/Wedding_Bridesmaid/silkchiffon/PRDOVR~29286/29286.jsp" rel="nofollow">http://www.jcrew.com/wedding/Wedding_Bridesmaid/silkchiffon/PRDOVR~29286/29286.jsp</a> I can't really find anything comparable, so i'll probably just go with something entirely different. I wasn't trying to win brownie points for having hair and makeup done, I was simply stating that the dress would be (as it should be) their only expense. We still have a while to go, so there's no rush on picking out the dresses, but I am looking for something breezy, chiffon-y, and relaxed. My wedding is in a barn and by dress is the super unstructured arabelle dress from j crew, so something too elaborate would look strange. Thanks again, I'm open to ideas! In Response to Re: (Too?) Expensive Bridesmaids dresses :
    Posted by kefryar[/QUOTE]

    You really should ask each girl individually what her budget is for a dress. "Hey I decided against that j. crew dress, so I'm looking aroud some more. What would you be comfortable spending?"

    These in Pool or Bluebird are similar:
    <a href="http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Strapless-Chiffon-Dress-with-Layered-Skirt-F14169_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-Shop-By-Color" rel="nofollow">http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Strapless-Chiffon-Dress-with-Layered-Skirt-F14169_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-Shop-By-Color</a>

    <a href="http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Short-Crinkle-Chiffon-Dress-with-Front-Cascade-F14847_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-Shop-By-Color" rel="nofollow">http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Short-Crinkle-Chiffon-Dress-with-Front-Cascade-F14847_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-Shop-By-Color</a>

    Several of these would work, too:
    <a href="https://www.alfredangelo.com/collections/displaycollection.aspx?CategoryId=772f03c9-de43-4942-bfa0-da77e21ebd65" rel="nofollow">https://www.alfredangelo.com/collections/displaycollection.aspx?CategoryId=772f03c9-de43-4942-bfa0-da77e21ebd65</a>
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  • Thanks for looking!
    The color is actually misty rose, so sort of a peachy/rosy pink

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_too-expensive-bridesmaids-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e6b6f65b-0f4a-4138-b10b-fc1cdd6133d1Post:3c5a86f7-1121-470b-ae96-d80899b025cc">Re: (Too?) Expensive Bridesmaids dresses</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: (Too?) Expensive Bridesmaids dresses : You really should ask each girl individually what her budget is for a dress. "Hey I decided against that j. crew dress, so I'm looking aroud some more. What would you be comfortable spending?" These in Pool or Bluebird are similar: <a href="http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Strapless-Chiffon-Dress-with-Layered-Skirt-F14169_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-Shop-By-Color" rel="nofollow">http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Strapless-Chiffon-Dress-with-Layered-Skirt-F14169_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-Shop-By-Color</a> <a href="http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Short-Crinkle-Chiffon-Dress-with-Front-Cascade-F14847_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-Shop-By-Color" rel="nofollow">http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Short-Crinkle-Chiffon-Dress-with-Front-Cascade-F14847_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-Shop-By-Color</a> Several of these would work, too: <a href="https://www.alfredangelo.com/collections/displaycollection.aspx?CategoryId=772f03c9-de43-4942-bfa0-da77e21ebd65" rel="nofollow">https://www.alfredangelo.com/collections/displaycollection.aspx?CategoryId=772f03c9-de43-4942-bfa0-da77e21ebd65</a>
    Posted by bunni727[/QUOTE]

     

  • Hmmm, also another option...the bridesmaid dresses at JCrew do often go on sale..I bought one myself on sale for around 70.00 a few months ago (it was a really pretty dress that I felt like I could wear for any occassion, lol)

    Maybe if you keep watch, you'll find that one on sale. They have a sale currently for the same style dress, maybe not the color you were looking for though...

    http://www.jcrew.com/wedding/Wedding_Bridal_Brunch/PRDOVR~29286/99102081015/ENE~1+2+3+22+4294967294+20~~~20+17+4294966902~90~~~~~~~/29286.jsp

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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Here is one very similiar to the J Crew dress:

    Clicky
  • Do you have a J Crew outlet anywhere near you? My friend got 3 dresses from there for $120 total. AWESOME deal.
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    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_too-expensive-bridesmaids-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e6b6f65b-0f4a-4138-b10b-fc1cdd6133d1Post:fc5a3ea8-7492-4cd7-8d19-8b9a5b45bbc0">Re: (Too?) Expensive Bridesmaids dresses</a>:
    [QUOTE]Here is one very similiar to the J Crew dress: Clicky
    Posted by OliveOilsMom[/QUOTE]

    OK I want this dress, lol.
    image

    Anniversary
    ashley8918
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_too-expensive-bridesmaids-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e6b6f65b-0f4a-4138-b10b-fc1cdd6133d1Post:fe2ad0fd-57ba-44ed-ab97-ee961ec685e5">Re: (Too?) Expensive Bridesmaids dresses</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for all the advice. I decided that since one person seemed unhappy with the price, I would change the dresses. For those of you whe were asking for a link, here is the link to the j crew dresses. <a href="http://www.jcrew.com/wedding/Wedding_Bridesmaid/silkchiffon/PRDOVR~29286/29286.jsp" rel="nofollow">http://www.jcrew.com/wedding/Wedding_Bridesmaid/silkchiffon/PRDOVR~29286/29286.jsp</a> I can't really find anything comparable, so i'll probably just go with something entirely different. I wasn't trying to win brownie points for having hair and makeup done, I was simply stating that the dress would be (as it should be) their only expense. We still have a while to go, so there's no rush on picking out the dresses, but I am looking for something breezy, chiffon-y, and relaxed. My wedding is in a barn and by dress is the super unstructured arabelle dress from j crew, so something too elaborate would look strange. Thanks again, I'm open to ideas! In Response to Re: (Too?) Expensive Bridesmaids dresses :
    Posted by kefryar[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I'm doing mismatched bridesmaid dresses in a similar color to you. I created a neutrals pinterest page. Feel free to take a look at it - most of the dresses should link to exactly where you can buy them, but a few won't. It was just inspiration for my girls, and it was helpful. I think you'd be surprised at how many dresses can be similar to the J Crew feel.</div><div>
    </div><div><a href="http://pinterest.com/emeejeeayen/maids-in-neutrals/" rel="nofollow">http://pinterest.com/emeejeeayen/maids-in-neutrals/</a></div><div>
    </div><div>(ignore the shoes upfront, ha)

    </div>
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  • edited April 2013
    My BMs are wearing bill levkoff dresses in chiffon and they are reasonably priced.  The two they are wearing are these

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  • You should sign up for the jcrew email list.  They often have 25% off (they are currently having a sale that is 25% off everything with the code SPRINGBEST).    Makes a $250 dress $187.50.  Also, those dresses go on sale often.  I was in a wedding where I ended up getting an over $200 dress for close to $100
  • Whether they said they were okay with it or not (they might feel like they have to agree because 'it's your wedding'), I think $250 is unreasonable for a BM dress.

    A lot of the PP's posted good options, so I would consider them.  It's not worth stretching your BMs that far financially just for a dress.
    Anniversary
  • Honestly, I have been in several weddings and I don't think I have ever paid less than $250. It is your day and you gave them ample time to come up with the money. Plus, jcrew is so popular you can easily find one previously worn for half the price if price is that big of a concern.



    I am not trying to be disrespectful to your bridesmaids at all, but if only one person has an issue certainly there should be other options than having to change all the dresses. You are the bride you have enough to worry about. Good luck and congrats on your happy day!
  • @pdkh um I obviously didn't realize that and there is no reason to be rude and name call. Plus, you just commented on it. Get over yourself. 
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    @pdkh um I obviously didn't realize that and there is no reason to be rude and name call. Plus, you just commented on it. Get over yourself. 

    Where did she name call?
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