CIVIL CEREMONY?!?!?

tirathemrs

So the Mr is INSISTING on a Courthouse Wedding.....(insert eye roll here)

Ive pleaded my case with him numerous times about this and explained that i really want the whole wedding and blah blah blah, well to no avail im just going to bow down (for now, only because its not like he doesnt want to get married he just doesnt want to pay all that money for a wedding) so i told him we can do courthouse but, just knw i still need a nice dress, hair done, we still need someone to take a few pics, i need a bouquet and we still need him to have a nice suit you knw to make it look really  nice......THIS DUDE HERE IS DRIVING ME INSANE, somebody please tell me whats the pros and cons to a courthouse wedding? Ive never been to one and never really wanted to do it but i guess ill look into it... LOOKING FOR ANY HELP ON THIS ISSUE AND I KNW MY SISSYS ON AAW BOARD WILL HELP ME OUT

1 LOVE

MrsBad13

Aww sissy. Sorry that FI is trying to change the game plan of the wedding. These FIs can be a pain sometimes..lol.  Honestly I wanted a courthouse wedding simply because of the things we have been thru these past few months. My FI has already done the courthouse thing once so this is why Im having a wedding.

To me the only pro of having a courthouse wedding is the cost of having the judge marry you and no need to pay for a venue. 

Of cons are

Not many guest can witness the vows between you two

You have to share the courthouse with other couples, your ceremony not as intimate

the ceremony is short and sweet, no walking down the aisle to that song you envisioned walking down the aisle too.  etc.

The other pro tho is..The money you planned to use for the ceremony portion can be used toward having a BOMB ass reception and maybe get that extra dish you want or the bar you want, Have some record the courthouse ceremony and show it during the reception. In about 5 yrs have a vow renewal and then do the big hooray !

IF yall do this..will this push up yall getting married ?

tirathemrs

Thanks for the info (we are still in the works with this smh) and yea its gonna push it up but i told him after he first proposed to pick a date he left it up to me so fine, now that hes pushing for the courthouse wedding i told him to pick the date and again hes still being the stubborn man he is LOL (am i wrong or should i just pick a date?)

MrsBad13

Well..1st let me ask you...How are you really feeling about this ? I mean if you are ok with it and its not going to cause any issues later..depending on all you want for the courthouse wedding I say do it by end of summer early fall. How would that work for you ? Then would have a reception the same night ? 

tirathemrs

Well at first i was dead set against it but im like ok i have to understand the bigger picture, its about he and i and we are also in the process of looking for a house so im like ok lets do this so i know it wont cause any problems and i was just thinking of a date line for sometime in June-Sept (still working on that).. And the reception is something id rather do that night but im not sure when and where

nursing2u

Ok... I want you to really think about the WHOLE PICTURE as you said...

this also includes communication... I am begging you.. please don't just "bow down" and go with the flow, if this is going to make you have regrets..

There are many people that get married in small civil ceremonies and there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with that.. very intimate between you and your FI and family.. take your pics and truly enjoy the day.
Then share the night with your friends partying it up if you want... It definitely isn't required to spend all the money.. But it truly is what is best for BOTH of you.. because at the end of the day.. it is about you two becoming ONE in the eyes of GOD.. so do what makes you both happy.. not just him..

and the date thing should be easy once you decide exactly what you want.. I know that this may not be the dream that you had, but I pray that you sit down and think long and hard about what you TRULY want.. and make sure that YOU AND YOUR FI AND your SON are happy.. THAT IS WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT..

Pray on it Tira.. it will come to you... you don't have to rush it... but make sure it is what is making you happy also.. HUGS...

tirathemrs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_civil-ceremony-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:0b3ddfb5-c9ca-4f77-ae93-a32199dc1974Post:1a88add9-e6b7-48d0-91ed-79fc1550444e">Re: CIVIL CEREMONY?!?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok... I want you to really think about the WHOLE PICTURE as you said... this also includes communication... I am begging you.. please don't just "bow down" and go with the flow, if this is going to make you have regrets.. There are many people that get married in small civil ceremonies and there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with that.. very intimate between you and your FI and family.. take your pics and truly enjoy the day. Then share the night with your friends partying it up if you want... It definitely isn't required to spend all the money.. But it truly is what is best for BOTH of you.. because at the end of the day.. it is about you two becoming ONE in the eyes of GOD.. so do what makes you both happy.. not just him.. and the date thing should be easy once you decide exactly what you want.. I know that this may not be the dream that you had, but I pray that you sit down and think long and hard about what you TRULY want.. and make sure that YOU AND YOUR FI AND your SON are happy.. THAT IS WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT.. Pray on it Tira.. it will come to you... you don't have to rush it... but make sure it is what is making you happy also.. HUGS...
Posted by nursing2u[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Thanks honey, I have been thinking and praying and trying to talk to him in between running after our busy body 3 yr old LOL... But in all i do want us to get married and move into a new home which is another good reason and thought that we discussed, the money for the wedding could be for our down payment so im liking that... But we still are discussing it all and im sure we will have some kinda decision soon...

</div>

nursing2u

I am glad that you are discussing it...

As I said... Just pray about it.. and GOD will guide your steps and your way...

Things don't always happen the way we expect them.. but GOD always uses it in his favor... The love you two have for each other and family.. is what is the MOST IMPORTANT

tirathemrs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_civil-ceremony-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:0b3ddfb5-c9ca-4f77-ae93-a32199dc1974Post:2e1b6aae-0b77-411e-9d7b-b69e4386033d">Re: CIVIL CEREMONY?!?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am glad that you are discussing it... <strong>As I said... Just pray about it.. and GOD will guide your steps and your way... Things don't always happen the way we expect them.. but GOD always uses it in his favor... The love you two have for each other and family.. is what is the MOST IMPORTANT</strong>
Posted by nursing2u[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>ALL THIS.....I HAVE APPROVED THIS MESSAGE</div>

nursing2u

Thank you for approving the message ... Ms Tira!!! lol

aquari0216

ARE YOU STILL DOING A RECEPTION? WE WERE DOING COURTHOUSE BUT DUDE DECIDED HE WANTED BIGGER.....BUT IS BROKE LOL....SCHOOL REFUNDS AND MY ARDYSS BUSINESS ARE FUNDING THIS DAY.

aquari0216

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_civil-ceremony-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:0b3ddfb5-c9ca-4f77-ae93-a32199dc1974Post:546cf1f0-518b-482a-a913-2152612f5bf0">Re: CIVIL CEREMONY?!?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]Aww sissy. Sorry that FI is trying to change the game plan of the wedding. These FIs can be a pain sometimes..lol.  Honestly I wanted a courthouse wedding simply because of the things we have been thru these past few months. My FI has already done the courthouse thing once so this is why Im having a wedding. To me the only pro of having a courthouse wedding is the cost of having the judge marry you and no need to pay for a venue.  Of cons are Not many guest can witness the vows between you two You have to share the courthouse with other couples, your ceremony not as intimate the ceremony is short and sweet, no walking down the aisle to that song you envisioned walking down the aisle too.  etc. The other pro tho is..The money you planned to use for the ceremony portion can be used toward having a BOMB ass reception and maybe get that extra dish you want or the bar you want, Have some record the courthouse ceremony and show it during the reception. In about 5 yrs have a vow renewal and then do the big hooray ! IF yall do this..will this push up yall getting married ?
Posted by MrsBad13[/QUOTE]

THATS WHAT THE HELL WE SHOULD DO

MrsBad13

Hey Aquari..How are you hun ?! Haven't seen you around these parts in a bit. Right..I wish we wasnt so deep into this thang and 52 days away. I swear I would of opted for the courthouse ceremony then have a KICK ass reception ! I wanted to have a courthouse wedding but FI didn't. But you live and learn right ?! 

If you and FI are cool with it all going down tha way I say go for it !!

LeciaB

Y'all got me thinking about the civil ceremony ..... But is it to late to get the ball rolling..

MrsBad13

In Response to Re:CIVIL CEREMONY?!?!?:[QUOTE]Y'all got me thinking about the civil ceremony ..... But is it to late to get the ball rolling.. Posted by LeciaB[/QUOTE]

Its never to late to opt out. Unless you have deps that are non refundable and you in to deep. I say go for it..yall I'm not lying when I tell yall this is what we should of did.

nursing2u

I say to each his own... Do what makes you two as a couple happy... Because it is soo true... You two are what truly matters..

tirathemrs

You ladies are my inspiration....SMOOCHES

zantster

Have you and your FI discussed what would be considered "too much" for a wedding? I would just let your FI know that there are many ways to do these things on the cheap besides just a civil courthouse ceremony. 

With the beautiful weather in your state you two could utilize a beach or state park for the ceremony with just a few close family members who can take pictures for you, flowers and cake and punch from Sam's Club.  You can still wear your dress and he could wear a nice suit.  Someone could use their ipod for music.  Any other inexpensive decorations could be picked up at Michaels, the dollar store, etc.  And all this could be done for 1k-2k.  Check out the budget board for more tips.  

The marriage is definitely the most important thing.  But your FI should also be open to a little compromising that takes into account his concerns over money with your desire for a more inclusive ceremony.  Completely disregarding every idea you have and only agreeing to what he wants is not compromise.
   

MrsHoward2Be

I have a link to my pics on here. I did a courthouse wedding with the whole big deal. Dress Flowers Nice pics I had a great time. I never wanted the big wedding with a whole bunch of people there. But he wanted the party. So we did a courthouse wedding with just some of our family and a reception layer that evening with more family and friend. Saved alot of money and still had a great time. http://divineiphoto.smugmug.com/Weddings/Melissa-Debros-Wedding/28363194_FVvgk8#!i=2401387354&k=MpxvJpT

rmasoka

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_civil-ceremony-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:0b3ddfb5-c9ca-4f77-ae93-a32199dc1974Post:1a88add9-e6b7-48d0-91ed-79fc1550444e">Re: CIVIL CEREMONY?!?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok... I want you to really think about the WHOLE PICTURE as you said... this also includes communication... I am begging you.. please don't just "bow down" and go with the flow, if this is going to make you have regrets.. There are many people that get married in small civil ceremonies and there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with that.. very intimate between you and your FI and family.. take your pics and truly enjoy the day. Then share the night with your friends partying it up if you want... It definitely isn't required to spend all the money.. But it truly is what is best for BOTH of you.. because at the end of the day.. it is about you two becoming ONE in the eyes of GOD.. so do what makes you both happy.. not just him.. and the date thing should be easy once you decide exactly what you want.. I know that this may not be the dream that you had, but I pray that you sit down and think long and hard about what you TRULY want.. and make sure that YOU AND YOUR FI AND your SON are happy.. THAT IS WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT.. Pray on it Tira.. it will come to you... you don't have to rush it... but make sure it is what is making you happy also.. HUGS...
Posted by nursing2u[/QUOTE]


Agree with all this;)

tirathemrs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_civil-ceremony-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:0b3ddfb5-c9ca-4f77-ae93-a32199dc1974Post:41db94ff-4485-404c-9b17-57386aef8767">Re: CIVIL CEREMONY?!?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]Have you and your FI discussed what would be considered "too much" for a wedding? I would just let your FI know that there are many ways to do these things on the cheap besides just a civil courthouse ceremony.  With the beautiful weather in your state you two could utilize a beach or state park for the ceremony with just a few close family members who can take pictures for you, flowers and cake and punch from Sam's Club.  You can still wear your dress and he could wear a nice suit.  Someone could use their ipod for music.  Any other inexpensive decorations could be picked up at Michaels, the dollar store, etc.  And all this could be done for 1k-2k.  Check out the budget board for more tips.   The marriage is definitely the most important thing.  But your FI should also be open to a little compromising that takes into account his concerns over money with your desire for a more inclusive ceremony.  Completely disregarding every idea you have and only agreeing to what he wants is not compromise.    <div>
</div><div>Posted by zantster[/QUOTE]

</div><div>Thanks this is great info, ill be producing some info like this to him and we will see what happens and i do knw of some nice spots in some nice parks so that may work...thanks for your advice</div>

tirathemrs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_civil-ceremony-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:0b3ddfb5-c9ca-4f77-ae93-a32199dc1974Post:e8b1ee3e-c336-454c-ae52-4b12ac2291d0">Re: CIVIL CEREMONY?!?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a link to my pics on here. I did a courthouse wedding with the whole big deal. Dress Flowers Nice pics I had a great time. I never wanted the big wedding with a whole bunch of people there. But he wanted the party. So we did a courthouse wedding with just some of our family and a reception layer that evening with more family and friend. Saved alot of money and still had a great time. <a href="http://divineiphoto.smugmug.com/Weddings/Melissa-Debros-Wedding/28363194_FVvgk8#!i=2401387354&k=MpxvJpT" rel="nofollow">http://divineiphoto.smugmug.com/Weddings/Melissa-Debros-Wedding/28363194_FVvgk8#!i=2401387354&k=MpxvJpT</a>
Posted by MrsHoward2Be[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Hey Mrs Howard i was looking for your pics initially just for inspiration but i still say you looked beautiful and it helped to see this thanks honey..and hows married life??</div>

zantster

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_civil-ceremony-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:0b3ddfb5-c9ca-4f77-ae93-a32199dc1974Post:f398a789-d172-4bea-a50c-267e03814cde">Re: CIVIL CEREMONY?!?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: CIVIL CEREMONY?!?!? : Thanks this is great info, ill be producing some info like this to him and we will see what happens and i do knw of some nice spots in some nice parks so that may work...thanks for your advice
Posted by misstira[/QUOTE]

You're very welcome.  There are so many ways to do these things and OMG in Florida the possibilities are endless for keeping costs really low and still having a beautiful ceremony and reception.  Please come back with pics when you all get things together. I'd love to see them.

MrsHoward2Be

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_civil-ceremony-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:0b3ddfb5-c9ca-4f77-ae93-a32199dc1974Post:45556ad7-3621-40f2-963b-58fbd8ed0c24">Re: CIVIL CEREMONY?!?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: CIVIL CEREMONY?!?!? : Hey Mrs Howard i was looking for your pics initially just for inspiration but i still say you looked beautiful and it helped to see this thanks honey..and hows married life??
Posted by misstira[/QUOTE]



Married life is great!!!!