Cash bar...

MrsBad13

as I cringe saying it. I think I have asked this before..cant remember. 

So as Im winding down and have been reviewing our finances. We are just not going to be able to have a full blown open bar like I had hoped for. So at first I was condering just going straight dry. But Im a social drinker and I want to have something. So Im thinking justto have it open 1 hour during cocktail hour and just tell guest to drink up for that hour cause after that it will be shut down. So as I have told a few people my plan they're saying atleast give the option of a cash bar. 

What should I do ? 

How would you feel as a guest having to pay for your drinks ? 

I pray the Eboard police dont come over here..Im going in hiding..lol 

MrsHoward2Be

I like the idea of an open bat for an hour and cash bar after. I'm fine and most people I know are ok with a cash bar.

footballwife77

Girrrrrl. SHHHH! lol! as a drinker, I'd prefer a cash bar over nothing at all.

fancywright2

I'll drink to that, lol!  I'm like you, I need to have something! 

Can you bring in your own alcohol or is the venue supplying it? We're bringing in our own and doing wine, beer, and a signature cocktail. 

MrsBad13

Lol..right...you just can not have no type of liquor at your wedding..right ?! You girls are making me a feel a little better about the cash bar thing. I just feel kinda bad having my guest pay for their own drinks. At least I can give them an hour tho. The venue does not allow outside alcohol. I wish they did. Im waiting on the venue to call me back with a revised estimate of the bill for the 1 hour and cash bar prices. 

M1ssJ

I feel your dilemma but I feel blindsided everytime I see a cash bar because I never have cash.

COuld you do an hour during dinner of beer and wine?

MrsBad13

@M1ssJ..I was thinking about that, Im going to have to ask the venue coordinator about that. If I go this route Im definitly going to but this in the wedding website so people can prepare to bring cash. I just they look at it.

Toiizloved

I think I would rather have a cash bar then none but like MissJ said, I never have cash. For me I just purchased a certain $$ amount of only 2 signature drinks and that made my total alot cheaper than doing a full bar. After my $$$ runs out the bar will shut down with no option to purchase drinks cause I would have to pay extra for a cashier.Im having mine at a hotel so theres a bar in the lobby if someone must have a drink.

zantster

I'm thinking about how I would feel purely from the perspective of a guest and putting Etiquette to the side.  If it is at all possible, I would try to find a solution that keeps your guests from having to come out of pocket at all.  Because I'm really trying to be understanding and I know this is hard for you.  But I think it's best to be honest and real talk I do not like to look for my purse or wallet at a wedding as a guest.  

Also, I would want to know that first of all no matter what I could have all the water, juice and pop that I wanted free of charge.  And it would be nice to have at least cheap beer and wine for a few hours.  One hour just sounds so short.  Close the bar for dinner to spread it out a bit and then open it back up again for a couple hours.  

And unlike a dry wedding, if the alcohol is there but it costs me something I can't pretend it's not there and just get a Coke.  So looking for cash just feels awkward like something is missing to me.  If you do decide to do a few hours of beer and wine and then open it up for cash, at least make sure there is a sign at the bar stating that Mr. and Mrs. will be offering complimentary beer and wine from 5pm-8pm or something that gives people a heads up.  But I'm still hoping you can find a way to keep everything complimentary for your guests.

MrsBad13

In Response to Re:Cash bar...:[QUOTE]I'm thinking about how I would feel purely from thenbsp;perspective of a guest and putting Etiquette to the side.nbsp; If it is at all possible, I would try to find a solution that keepsnbsp;your guests from having to come out of pocket at all.nbsp; Because I'm really trying to be understanding and I know this is hard for you.nbsp; Butnbsp;I think it's best to be honest andnbsp;real talk I do not like to looknbsp;for mynbsp;purse or wallet at a wedding as a guest.nbsp;nbsp;Also, I would want to know that first of all no matter what I could have all the water, juice and pop that I wanted free of charge.nbsp; And it would be nice to have at least cheapnbsp;beer and wine for anbsp;few hours.nbsp; One hour just sounds so short.nbsp; Close the bar for dinner to spread it out a bit and then open it back up again for a couple hours.nbsp;nbsp;And unlike a dry wedding, if the alcohol is there but it costs me something I can't pretend it's not there and just get anbsp;Coke.nbsp; Sonbsp;looking for cash just feels awkward like something is missing to me.nbsp; If you do decide to do a few hours of beer and wine and then open it up for cash, at least make sure there is a sign at the bar stating that Mr. and Mrs. will be offering complimentary beer and wine from 5pm8pm or something that gives people a heads up.nbsp; But I'm still hopingnbsp;you can find a way to keep everything complimentary for your guests. Posted by zantster[/QUOTE]

At first I was going to do 3 hours of open bar. But because some things have taken place the last couple of months I already and things have changed I had came to the conclusion of just having a dry wedding. If anything like I said pp im thinking of just doing one hour for the cocktail hour and nothing else after that. I don't think I'm going to do the wine and beer thing either as its really not that much of a difference in the price. Its like if I do a dry wedding its bad it I do cash bar its bad..so either way its bad..but what can you do ?!

zantster

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_cash-bar-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:2c878491-813a-4cb6-87cf-066a3f1282c2Post:65f326da-bbbf-4c7a-bbe3-9c5234b0d883">Re:Cash bar...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Cash bar...: At first I was going to do 3 hours of open bar. But because some things have taken place the last couple of months I already and things have changed I had came to the conclusion of just having a dry wedding. If anything like I said pp im thinking of just doing one hour for the cocktail hour and nothing else after that. I don't think I'm going to do the wine and beer thing either as its really not that much of a difference in the price. Its like if I do a dry wedding its bad it I do cash bar its bad..so either way its bad..but what can you do ?!
Posted by MrsBad13[/QUOTE]
Well, like  you said, it is what it is.  If the money ain't there that's not your fault.  Can they still get unlimited nonalcoholic drinks free like juice and soda pop?  And another idea is could you do one signature cocktail drink that people can have along with the nonalcoholic drinks?  How much would that cost to have a signature drink throughout the evening instead of an open bar for one hour? 

MrsBad13

Yes all non alcoholic drinks are free. I didn't think to ask about a signature drink to be available thru out the night. That might be something I look into.

aquari0216

Bought liquor is better than no liquor...screw ettiquette heffaz.....ive never been to a wedding with an open bar so the first time I heard of it and a cocktail hour is on here.....Ill be the first person ive met and wedding with an open bar....

MissusD1116

It's all in what is the norm in YOUR social circle. As AA, most weddings are either all cash bar or open to a cap. Me personally, I can't remember the last AA wedding I went to and the full bar was open ALL night unless it was some cheap azz pissy beer or wine. To me, I would be offended if I only had the option of some some low quality shyt! Regardless if its free. Give me the option to purchase some Ketel One or some Belvie instead of Barefoot Moscato from Kroger!!! Do what you can MrsBAD! I'm sorry y'all, I'm on my Malcom Luther X Jr.....

nursing2u

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_cash-bar-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:2c878491-813a-4cb6-87cf-066a3f1282c2Post:fbd3954e-732f-4804-9ab4-da4c51b07354">Re: Cash bar...</a>:
[QUOTE]It's all in what is the norm in YOUR social circle. As AA, most weddings are either all cash bar or open to a cap. Me personally, I can't remember the last AA wedding I went to and the full bar was open ALL night unless it was some cheap azz pissy beer or wine.

To me, I would be offended if I only had the option of some some low quality shyt! Regardless if its free. Give me the option to purchase some Ketel One or some Belvie instead of Barefoot Moscato from Kroger!!! Do what you can MrsBAD!

I'm sorry y'all, I'm on my Malcom Luther X Jr.....
Posted by MissusD1116[/QUOTE]



SAY IT FROM YOUR CHEST!!! HAHA..how do you REALLY FEEL..love y Miyah!!

MrsBad13

In Response to Re:Cash bar...:It's all in what is the norm in YOUR social circle. As AA, most weddings are either all cash bar or open to a cap. Me personally, I can't remember the last AA wedding I went to and the full bar was open ALL night unless it was some cheap azz pissy beer or wine. To me, I would be offended if I only had the option of some some low quality shyt! Regardless if its free. Give me the option to purchase some Ketel One or some Belvie instead of Barefoot Moscato from Kroger!!! Do what you can MrsBAD! I'm sorry y'all, I'm on my Malcom Luther X Jr..... Posted by MissusD1116 LMAO....you and aquari just made my day..lol lol ! But you are right most AA weddings I've been to..hey had a cap on the bar and once the well ran dry it was ova with. I'm like either way I go ill be damned..so I think ima go with the 1 hour cocktail open bar and then turn into a cash bar. Ill a make bar sign saying something like enjoy this hour of complimentary drinks..blah blah...I gotta think of something.

ils2004

I'm with Zantster.  I also don't want to have to look for my purse at a wedding to pay for a drink. I totally feel you on budgetary constraints, but your cocktail hour/reception is a thank you to your guests for coming out to celebrate your union.  We all need to host our guests to the best of our ability on our individual budgets.

Is there any way that you could host a limited bar, with some beer, wine, and maybe a signature cocktail?  That could help limit your alcohol costs.  It also might help if you purchase your own beer and wine from a wholesaler; you might be able to return unopened bottles for a refund.  

Hope this helps!