The wedding is off...

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_the-wedding-is-off?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:8cb2b807-ba53-4a26-a522-272a1e4e2d27Post:fb697929-cc3a-4d50-b3a5-25678ffcb92f">Re: The wedding is off...</a>:
[QUOTE]I am definitely in your corner and would be happy to talk to you more if you PM me and then tell me to check my PM. He does not value you and you do not need to settle for that.  He is no more important than you are as a child of God.  Can you imagine how it would be if the tables were turned and you said you were moving to timbuktu and if he wanted to he could come but if not oh well?  He'd probably look at you like you were crazy.    Even if he was moving because he got offered a big new high-paying job or something reasonable, how could you be sure he wouldn't pull something else unexpected once you got out to California or decide he wants to be with someone else? People want to say that marriage is just a piece of paper.  But that paper gives you legal and financial benefits that cohabitating does not and I'm sure he knows it.  THAT is what is stable, not the isht he's pulling.  That is a big reason why gays want to marry so that they can get federal and state benefits like social security through a spouse, inheritance benefits, medical rights, etc.  You are doing the right thing by just letting him move on down the road.  Otherwise, you could end up 10-15 years later wishing you had let him go a long time ago.  If he wants to know his child he will make the effort and if he doesn't then no amount of jumping when he says jump is going to do it.  What God has for you is for you.  And it won't come with a whole lot of chaos and complication.  Just lean on Jesus and He will make your crooked places straight.
Posted by zantster[/QUOTE]

TK, I wanna take you out back and beatchyoass for not having a *LURVE* button.

Aww Sha, I wanna start by saying I'm sorry luvie.  I know this hurts something awful.   Try and take it minute by minute, hour by hour and talk and vent and pray and cry and cuss (try not pray and cuss in the same sentence) but do whatever you need to do to put the well being of you and the baby first.  Like some of the ladies here have already said, I've also been through this trial and yes ma'am it is, bar none one of the shi**iest feelings in the world, but when it's over, baby, when. it. is. over? you will have emerged stronger and better and healthier than you ever knew you could be.   oh and hey, by the way, the best of all of those?  also a mom lol.  The thing that made it (ever so slightly) easier to deal with was something I hear in church every now and again, most recently on Easter:  A blessing and a curse cannot occupy the same space at the same time.  It may yet be a ways and a process or two away for you but there's no room for mr. right if you're still focused on mr. wrong.  There is no room for his billygoatassnonsense to be considered if you are your  priority.  And I'm not here to judge whether he is right or wrong for you, but I do believe how he expressed his anxiety about you and committment and his child is immature, selfish and delusional but its purpose was to show itself to you girl.   Anyway, I didn't mean to testify all over your sorrow.  If you know nothing else, know this:  you're cloaked in His grace and mercy and surrounded by friends you've met and some you haven't who love you and support you. 

oh andplusalso what Cha said?  trust and believe every word. 

thedivav

Hugs

so sorry to hear this 

keeping you in my prayers.... 

*waves* hey sultry....

aquari0216

now where the hell you think you going Miss???! Just cuz ur not getting married RIGHT NOW...doesnt mean it wont be happening in the (near) future...you are STILL a futue bride!

shaygray88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_the-wedding-is-off?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:8cb2b807-ba53-4a26-a522-272a1e4e2d27Post:53d851fd-7458-43c9-a9eb-39f0e11cf10b">Re: The wedding is off...</a>:
[QUOTE]now where the hell you think you going Miss???! Just cuz ur not getting married RIGHT NOW...doesnt mean it wont be happening in the (near) future...you are STILL a futue bride!
Posted by aquari0216[/QUOTE]

lol its funny you say that...im gonna make a follow up post