NWR: Baby Shower

M1ssJ

Who throws and pays for Baby showers in your circle?

I ask because a friend is preggs and asked/ we decided I'd throw and organize her shower. I said  "Sure! give me the money and budget and I'll make it happen"

She said "oh i thought friends pay for showers"

We honestly couldn't figure it out. I always planned to pay for and throw my own baby shower so I never burdened anyone. Now I'm curious, what do you all do?

drmass2013

For my baby shower, my cousin paid who is also my son's godmother  and my mom helped her out too. I've given 2 baby showers and one I paid for and the other I spilt the cost with the other hostess. 

MrsBad13

I've thrown 2 baby showers . One I paid for and the other me And my mom paid for. When I had my babies I paid for my own with the help of my mom and then my cousin hosted the games and stuff.

MsAmeera25

Baby showers are normally gifts...it's considered tacky to plan, host or pay for your own shower.....kind of like a bridal shower. I had two showers a friend and a family shower. My mom paid for one and my friends paid for the other one. In my circle if you give someone a shower that's their gift usually we go in with a few ppl to split the costs. But to be honest with how much you are gonna spend on paying for your own shower it would be better to use the money and buy baby stuff they can be so costly to be "nice".

M1ssJ

Ok. Hmmm this changes the game for me lol. I guess because for my bridal showers my mom paid for everything and my MOH was the one who put stuff together and did the creative part but didnt put out money.

This girl doesn't really have a circle of friends (that would pay and organize) nor a mom thats involved in that way. Most of the invitees are the H friends and family with a few from her side.

I guess my question is this: We're talking more than a BBQ. She wants like etsy/pinterest inspired stuff which I'm seeing to be around 300 plus food. I'm willing to pitch in some but that seems costly to me for a shower for someone else. How do I approach this?

 I would normally gift a close friend a baby gift of about $100.

MrsBad13

before I answer...let me ask you is her Hs family helping with the cost at all ?

rowenac82

Doesn't sound like you asked for the responsibility but I wasn't there when you guys had this conversation. It's kinda tricky but I think just being upfront about it if you can't afford to pay for the whole thing. Perhaps she can recruit some other friends to pitch in. But I have always been involved in showers where the mom's or sisters paid for most things and others volunteered to do things. Does hubby have any sisters that might be willing to pitch in? Or even hubby's mom?

MsAmeera25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_nwr-baby-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:e6a96f33-cc46-46f1-9cf2-ab9e5e085e53Post:d0bf4bcb-05e2-4daf-a02c-b214e0b7f03c">Re: NWR: Baby Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok. Hmmm this changes the game for me lol. I guess because for my bridal showers my mom paid for everything and my MOH was the one who put stuff together and did the creative part but didnt put out money. This girl doesn't really have a circle of friends (that would pay and organize) nor a mom thats involved in that way. Most of the invitees are the H friends and family with a few from her side. I guess my question is this: We're talking more than a BBQ. She wants like etsy/pinterest inspired stuff which I'm seeing to be around 300 plus food. I'm willing to pitch in some but that seems costly to me for a shower for someone else. How do I approach this?  I would normally gift a close friend a baby gift of about $100.
Posted by M1ssJ[/QUOTE]

<div>This is exactly why the shower is a GIFT, she has no say. IF you want to throw her a show it's up to you to decide the theme guest list etc. The convo should have gone, hey xyz person I would like to host a shower for you for about 10-15 ppl on this date. Or how ever many ppl you can afford. It's really not up to her to dictate decor, location etc unless you ask. If she doesn;t have friends then do what you can afford, maybe a tea party with light snacks or just a limited guest list but it really isn't up to you to host her family, her friends and her H's family and friends if you can't afford it. </div><div>
</div><div>In the past if I had a friend who wanted a big shower or had a huge guest list I would ask is anyone else planning a shower usually her mom or MIL and then coordinate with them. If not I just make it small. My last girlfriend I only wanted to spend 150 so we did a cheap brunch at a restaurant for 10 closest friends and called it a day. </div><div>
</div><div>If she doesn't want something in your budget she can decline. But she shouldn't pay for it herself by the time she spends 300 on a shower she could have bought her stroller or crib or something for the baby herself.</div>

MrsHoward2Be

I've planned and paid for my own.

M1ssJ

 His family is not paying. His mom is bossy but not contributing and expects her church friends and etc to be invited. I suggested we have one for the few friends she has and whatever else is thrown by her MIL. Her H was against that and wants one big  "impressive" type shower.

We revisted the convo and I let her know I had x amount of money to put towards the shower and anything that's beyond that I'll be unable to cover alone.  She was cool with it and said let her know the prices for everything.

I get what you're saying about cost Ameera but she's kinda like me in a sense, the party aspect is worth everything