Wedding Woes

Cheap Guest

Not being a jerk but we had a guest give us $10.00 for a wedding gift. We had no help form family at all NONE, ZERO! I paid all for myself. We gave our guest a cookie from Hawaii for the seating chart, had a photobooth, flowere were available which this gues took more that one table setting, tiffany made cupcakes which I have found out she took one before they were serverd and probably had 2!

Now we had this reception not to make money and it's never about the money but $10 as a gift, not 100! This is 10 bucks that anybody has I think it's more insulting than not even giving a card.

Please HELP and suggestions to say something to this person.
«13

Re: Cheap Guest

  • MNNEBrideMNNEBride Midwest member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:5f94b64a-d75d-4200-8a6b-25f887342edb">Cheap Guest</a>:
    [QUOTE]Not being a jerk but we had a guest give us $10.00 for a wedding gift. We had no help form family at all NONE, ZERO! I paid all for myself. We gave our guest a cookie from Hawaii for the seating chart, had a photobooth, flowere were available which this gues took more that one table setting, tiffany made cupcakes which I have found out she took one before they were serverd and probably had 2! Now we had this reception not to make money and it's never about the money but $10 as a gift, not 100! This is 10 bucks that anybody has I think it's more insulting than not even giving a card. Please HELP and suggestions to say something to this person.
    Posted by ryanchase[/QUOTE]

    Re-wording this does not make it any better.
    image
  • Oy to the vey.

    Just call and ask for the cookie back.  Please do it.  And then tell us how it went.

    image

    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    NerdyLucy
  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited April 2013
    Everything is best said with a poem, as MNNE said in the other thread....

    Roses are red
    violets are blue
    cookies are cheap
    and so are you.

    or maybe

    Honey is sweet
    my belly is yellow
    pony up more cash
    because I'm a greedy fellow
    NerdyLucyjarednmegan[Deleted User]
  • send a bill for all the items plus her meal.
  • Collection agent
    imageAlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • Oh, and you ARE being a jerk. Were you expecting your guests to pay you back for your wedding?
  • In response to the "jerks that think I'm being a greedy person. Let me know how it goes for your wedding with your parents help I had ZERO Help. I think anybody would be pissed if they got 10 bucks in a card. I was simply asking You don' thave to giv eyour smart ass comments just leave it alone. I'm not expecting anything in return but it's simple wedding common sense Really you would be happy with $10 bucks. I would rather she didn't give anything but let mwe know how everything runs so smooth for your big days Dixie and GBCK
  • This reminds me of that couple on True Life: I'm Getting Married that knew they had to make $20,000 back from their gusts to cover their wedding.  Same guy who freaked out on the limo driver.  I laughed when she over-tanned and was peeling.  Ah...memories.

    Call your guest and tell them you'll gut them like a fish if they don't give you more money...or your cookies back. 
  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:39d6a709-e737-4297-8e88-b5728af6bace">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
    [QUOTE]In response to the "jerks that think I'm being a greedy person. Let me know how it goes for your wedding with your parents help I had ZERO Help. I think anybody would be pissed if they got 10 bucks in a card. I was simply asking You don' thave to giv eyour smart ass comments just leave it alone. I'm not expecting anything in return but it's simple wedding common sense Really you would be happy with $10 bucks. I would rather she didn't give anything but let mwe know how everything runs so smooth for your big days Dixie and GBCK
    Posted by ryanchase[/QUOTE]

    <div>The thing is, some of us recognize that we don't know the financial situation of everyoen in the world and that $10 in a card may actually be quite generous.</div><div>Hell, one of my grandmothers didn't come to my wedding and sent me a card w/o a gift after.

    You won't get any GOOD smart-assed answers on how to be a rude btch--because telling someone they were badly behaved (even if they were badly behaved) is drama-seeking.  And telling them they were cheap is incredibly rude to even consider doing.</div><div>
    </div><div>Be glad you got your nose out of joint by strangers/imaginary people in the internet saying that instead of making the mistake of going through w/ your plan IRL and having everyone know you're graceless and tacky.</div>
  • Because your wedding isn't supposed to have a damn thing to do with gifts.  It's suppose to be about celebrating the fact that you married your wife.  That's it.
  • i2i with V.

    For most people, getting married goes like this:  You get married in a ceremony and have a reception to celebrate your union.  You invite your friends and family to help you celebrate.

    YOU expect your guests to give you gifts and ONLY EAT ONE CUPCAKE!!!!!  YOU are ridiculous.

    I would be horrified if my guests thought they could only eat or drink a certain amount or if they felt obligated to give me money.  I wanted everyone to have a good time.

  • You know, I've lurked and posted here for a while.  I've read some pretty ridiculous and petty things on here in that time, but I think it's safe to say that you rank right up there in the top 5 of all time pettiness and foot stomping.

    I feel sorry for your husband.
    NerdyLucy
  • I'm paying for my wedding, and if some guests eat the food, take extra, and don't give a gift, I don't care.  You are causing yourself unnecessary stress over this - she gave $10, it's better than nothing. 
    You're really emphasizing that you paid for this wedding all by yourself, like this is supposed to make a difference.  This isn't really that special . . . it's actually very common now for people to pay for their own weddings without any handouts.  Seeing as you aren't aware of that little fact, I'm afraid I will have to doubt your knowledge of wedding "common sense" that guests are expected to give more than $10. 

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:c34ab963-2d65-4b1e-abbc-5bf8765c56c9">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm paying for my wedding, and if some guests eat the food, take extra, and don't give a gift, I don't care.  You are causing yourself unnecessary stress over this - <strong>she gave $10, it's better than nothing.</strong>  You're really emphasizing that you paid for this wedding all by yourself, like this is supposed to make a difference.  This isn't really that special . . . it's actually very common now for people to pay for their own weddings without any handouts.  Seeing as you aren't aware of that little fact, I'm afraid I will have to doubt your knowledge of wedding "common sense" that guests are expected to give more than $10. 
    Posted by kerbohl[/QUOTE]

    ::BANGING HEAD ON DESK::

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    This is one of the most ridiculous complaints I've ever heard. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • fmbyofmbyo member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its
    Your class and grace astound us all.
  • WTF.  You keep your damn mouth shut about it and write a normal thank you note.

    And I did get 10 dollars from a guest.  It was H's 80 yr great aunt...we laughed about it and moved on.
    br>imageimage
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  • $10 is still $10 more than you had yesterday. It doesn't matter who pays for the wedding- you don't have a wedding just to earn back your investment. Now if you came here and said "we had a guest who was really inappropriate during the wedding, did XYZ, other guests said something about it to us, so how do we handle it" then it would be a different story. Instead she ate more than she should have (in your opinion) and then only gave you $10. And you want us to tell you how to handle it. Here's the thing- you don't say anything because you are a jerk if you do. Also, you invited this person. You have to know they are going to do this. I hate when people come here and are like "this person is causing drama!! What do I do???!!" like its something new. No, this person probably sucked before your wedding and in someway their behavior is more egregious now that you are getting married.
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I have to wonder if the $10 was "I want to make sure you know my gift was not lost, but you need to know you were an asshole."  Kind of like leaving a dollar tip for a bad server.
    ChiGirl2013
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:614bb5a2-9e68-4a0d-883a-6b7d75a156ac">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have to wonder if the $10 was "I want to make sure you know my gift was not lost, but you need to know you were an asshole."  Kind of like leaving a dollar tip for a bad server.
    Posted by 6fsn[/QUOTE]

    ^^ like

    Anyway, OP, DH and I paid for our wedding ourselves, and that never made us feel justified in tallying up who gave what in relation to what we spent feeding and entertaining them.  People give what they can/want to, whether it's $100, $10, or $0.  You're throwing a party, it's not a business transaction.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:518cba8e-e9bf-404b-8915-feeb77c0bed2">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
    [QUOTE]You know, I've lurked and posted here for a while.  I've read some pretty ridiculous and petty things on here in that time, but I think it's safe to say that you rank right up there in the top 5 of all time pettiness and foot stomping. I feel sorry for your husband.
    Posted by Lizzieyounce[/QUOTE]

    <div>You know his is funny I am the husband and I really find it hard to believe that peope take the time to bash me when I know 10 bucks is whatever But I bet 100% of the women on this site got mad about things and I was jsut asking for a suggestion not bashing but I get it. I know it is what it is but I'm sure 100% of people / brides or couples would be upset with that. I'm not looking fo rpeople to pay for my wedding. I did this for my wife becasue she deserved it. I bet if you look in the past you probalby complained about some guest and stuff, I mena it's easy for people to make excuses and say that's all they have been when you see they take vacations and go our to bars drinking their money away it kind of gets to you. I understand I will get bashed and this is why I really don't go on this site since women make a huge deal about things. I mean people have been on here all day bashing me...Hey I'm just asking don't have to hate</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:de5e7605-c5ae-49a2-8392-e29da063e2fe">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is one of the most ridiculous complaints I've ever heard. 
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    <div>Really? So your wedding must have went perfect for you? I find that hard to believe. Trust me $10 is nothing it's the point. People don't care about anybody since you see them going out and blowing money. Pretty insulting that they don't care about others except to eatr a free meal. Hope your wedding was great!</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:8c6cdfef-df4c-4b47-b715-de27e89d1b93">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
    [QUOTE]i2i with V. For most people, getting married goes like this:  You get married in a ceremony and have a reception to celebrate your union.  You invite your friends and family to help you celebrate. YOU expect your guests to give you gifts and ONLY EAT ONE CUPCAKE!!!!!  YOU are ridiculous. I would be horrified if my guests thought they could only eat or drink a certain amount or if they felt obligated to give me money.  I wanted everyone to have a good time.
    Posted by tawillers[/QUOTE]

    <div>Sorry I guess I wasn't clear the cupcake was our cake! Only order enough for 1 per guest. I wonder if somebody went over before DINNER and had a piece of your cake how you would handle it? Ya let me know about that one. I have alot of food and everythign for my guest But again answer the question up top. I was only asking for advice</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:614bb5a2-9e68-4a0d-883a-6b7d75a156ac">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have to wonder if the $10 was "I want to make sure you know my gift was not lost, but you need to know you were an asshole."  Kind of like leaving a dollar tip for a bad server.
    Posted by 6fsn[/QUOTE]

    After the most recent follow-ups, I think we have a winner.  ;)
  • edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:c34ab963-2d65-4b1e-abbc-5bf8765c56c9">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm paying for my wedding, and if some guests eat the food, take extra, and don't give a gift, I don't care.  You are causing yourself unnecessary stress over this - she gave $10, it's better than nothing.  You're really emphasizing that you paid for this wedding all by yourself, like this is supposed to make a difference.  This isn't really that special . . . it's actually very common now for people to pay for their own weddings without any handouts.  Seeing as you aren't aware of that little fact, I'm afraid I will have to doubt your knowledge of wedding "common sense" that guests are expected to give more than $10. 
    Posted by kerbohl[/QUOTE]

    <div>Just wondering did you have family support or anything? I mean anything? I'm sure you did. I'm sure daddy helped, nice You know how much weddings are now right? I paid over the top and hate I have to defend myself but these posting are crazy I simply asked for advise. I'm sure you know peoiple go blowing money at bars and everywhere but to come to a wedding where there is everything and give what they did is an insult. I'm sure you were or are going to be upset when you get a low ball amount. Granted it's not about the money at all it's the point. I mean how can you ever go to a wedding and give that. Have you done it if so that's bad. I just don't get it. Oh and get back to me about that question just wondering if daddy paid.... :)</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:9fcf9487-1348-448f-bbf9-318499d59f59">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
    [QUOTE]$10 is still $10 more than you had yesterday. It doesn't matter who pays for the wedding- you don't have a wedding just to earn back your investment. Now if you came here and said "we had a guest who was really inappropriate during the wedding, did XYZ, other guests said something about it to us, so how do we handle it" then it would be a different story. Instead she ate more than she should have (in your opinion) and then only gave you $10. And you want us to tell you how to handle it. Here's the thing- you don't say anything because you are a jerk if you do. Also, you invited this person. You have to know they are going to do this. I hate when people come here and are like "this person is causing drama!! What do I do???!!" like its something new. No, this person probably sucked before your wedding and in someway their behavior is more egregious now that you are getting married.
    Posted by PMeg819[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>So to be clear, this person went over to our cupcake table and took one before dinner. The cupcakes are our cake...make sense. I really don't care how much my guest eat. I served alot and I wanted to but for people to call me a jerk is absurd. So did you have any $10 gifts or empty cards or no cards? How did that make you feel. Just think pretty bad/upset. Just making a point. I'm sure you can see eveyone blowing cash and taking trips but not to give a gift at a wedding is crazy? So you go to weddings and give $10? I didn't think so you would feel bad or maybe you do I don't know. But for someone to do that is not right. Granted I'm not looking for my guest to pay for my wedding but they should have some respect. PLUS I got an excuse I was going to give you more later this summer, ya right that would never happen. Just looking for suggestions not bashing but let me know how you handle your big day. :)

    </div>
  • WzzWzz member
    2500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    you must feel like such a man for posting on a wedding website about $10.
    jarednmegan[Deleted User]
  • ryanchase - are you by any chance a librarian?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:f2c1cc58-e292-40de-b180-18318c1ebfe0">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oy to the vey. Just call and ask for the cookie back.  Please do it.  And then tell us how it went.
    Posted by zsazsa-stl[/QUOTE]

    <div>I didn't want the cookie back I was making a point. This guest along with others took a cupcake which is like our cake. So if one of your guest took a piece of your cake before you even cut it wouldn't you be upset? I did call this guest out and I got an excuse Oh I have no money my bank account is in the negative, but the thing is she just went on a road trip. So see my point people spend where they want and don't care or make excuses. She took it well but again she said she was going to give us more when she starts working more. Which is BS since her and other sgo out all the time and place it up on FB. I have to regrets calling her aout and maybe some others. I feel no shame. I mean it's crazy. Have you ever been to a wedding and given $10? I couldn't do it. Hey just want to thank you for not being a smart butt on here. I appreciate it. I'm just a lucky husband trying to figure out people. :)</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cheap-guest-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:19afd5af-4d31-4d39-bf5c-466baac8c4d5Post:d767bb7d-9b50-4c9c-a027-e781a21aa626">Re: Cheap Guest</a>:
    [QUOTE]you must feel like such a man for posting on a wedding website about $10.
    Posted by Wzz[/QUOTE]

    <div>You must feel like a women asking that</div>
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