Multiple receptions?

Looneyks

My FI and I are moving to California in a few months.  We plan on having a small ceremony there with as much as the family that can attend.  Our problem is my family lives in Massachusetts and his family lives in Florida.  Our respective grandmothers are very important to us, but neither can make the trip due to medical restrictions.  We don't know how to handle multiple receptions without making it look like a gift grab.  Do we invite everyone to the wedding then put the info for both receptions on rsvp so people can choose what parts they can attend?

Summer2011Bride

The actual reception is the one that happens on your wedding day and is a thank you to the guests who attended your ceremony. So I wouldn't call anything else a "reception."

However you can certainly have a get-together, host a BBQ, throw a party, etc. to celebrate your marriage after your wedding day. Just don't call it a reception, don't wear your gown, don't have a first dance, etc.

jessicabessica

I would see how much of your families can attend the wedding itself.  If not that many come, I would consider throwing a BBQ or casual get together the next time you are in their area.  If it's just your grandmothers, I would think about what they would really want.  It might be preferable just to make sure you get in a good visit with each of them shortly after you get married and spend some quality time together.

NYCMercedes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_multiple-receptions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:75587936-81e9-4b54-ba40-5a198b1d2958Post:707fb393-c510-425f-8d7a-c55f210c4443">Re: Multiple receptions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would see how much of your families can attend the wedding itself.  If not that many come, I would consider throwing a BBQ or casual get together the next time you are in their area.  If it's just your grandmothers, I would think about what they would really want.  It might be preferable just to make sure you get in a good visit with each of them shortly after you get married and spend some quality time together.
Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

This is what I would say, if I could write as well as jessicabessica.

speshlsnowflAkE

There's no reason you can't have multiple receptions so everyone you want to attend can be there!  I'm sure everyone wants to be included! 

LiASpitsSunshinE

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_multiple-receptions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:75587936-81e9-4b54-ba40-5a198b1d2958Post:1fab8161-d599-41ca-be43-467ff8dd0037">Re: Multiple receptions?</a>:
[QUOTE]There's no reason you can't have multiple receptions so everyone you want to attend can be there!  I'm sure everyone wants to be included! 
Posted by speshlsnowflAkE[/QUOTE]

This, but you should probably JOP it to get legally married before either wedding, you don't want one family to be jealous that the real wedding was not the one closest to them. If both weddings are fake, then no one has cause for complaint!

imAprEttyprincess

Everyone is right, these won't be your ACTUAL wedding receptions.  But I don't think there is anything wrong with a party with each family to celebrate your wedding.  They can see you in your dress, have some wedding cake, dance, and drink.  Who wouldn't be okay with that?

Looneyks

Do we send out a completely separate set of invitations for the post wedding celebrations? Or include all of the info with the wedding invitations? We plan on inviting everyone to the wedding whether or not we think they can come. Thinking extra check boxes for "Can't make it to the wedding and reception, but yes to either location post wedding celebration."

Looneyks

We don't want to send the message that one family is more special than the other. So instead of choosing between them, we're choosing a neutral location that's easy for us to plan since it's local.

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_multiple-receptions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:75587936-81e9-4b54-ba40-5a198b1d2958Post:201bb337-2ce1-4701-bd8c-f18dd6c8327c">Re: Multiple receptions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Multiple receptions? : This is what I would say, if I could write as well as jessicabessica.
Posted by NYCMercedes[/QUOTE]

<div>Haha, that's sweet of you, thanks :)</div><div>
</div><div>ETA: Also, OP, I would really wait until after you see who's coming to the wedding to plan anything else.  We were thinking about having a west coast shindig after our Maine wedding to host a lot of DH's family, but we were pleasantly surprised by how many people flew out for our wedding, and the ones that didn't weren't super into family events, so it wouldn't have made sense to have a big party on the west coast.  </div>

Looneyks

So, you're suggesting that we send out the invitations. Once we get the rsvps, if enough/certain people can't make it, send out a second round that give details on a celebration party? That way we save energy and cost by only planning extra parties if necessary.

jessicabessica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_multiple-receptions-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:75587936-81e9-4b54-ba40-5a198b1d2958Post:8c247f6f-48e7-441f-b7eb-5ae953d73fbc">Re: Multiple receptions?</a>:
[QUOTE]So, you're suggesting that we send out the invitations. Once we get the rsvps, if enough/certain people can't make it, send out a second round that give details on a celebration party? That way we save energy and cost by only planning extra parties if necessary.
Posted by Looneyks[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes, that's what I would do (and what we did).  I also would really think about what your grandmothers would want.  DH's grandmother was not able to travel to our wedding, although most of that side of the family did.  She would not have wanted us to through a big wedding-related party where she lived after our wedding.  </div>

Looneyks

I have a feeling my grandmother will want the party even though she'll say no when we ask. The old, "no, I don't want to be a burden to you" routine.  I think his grandmother won't mind as much.