Too Much!

I just need to rant for a second... This is long, but the short of it is that I'm overwhelmed finishing my thesis and planning the final stages of the wedding.

I'm in the final couple of weeks of my master's degree with a graduate assistantship for two professors. Because of various events throughout the year (even including Hurricane Sandy) I've been running like crazy trying to get this thesis finished and I'm nowhere close.

At the same time, my wedding is in 73 days. And I can't really do much to help plan it because I'm in school in NY and my family and the wedding are in MT.

Now, the original plan was that my mom would help while I was away until I got back. Then my sister (about a month ago) decided that she's going to get married less than a month after me in Vegas. Super excited for her! Not super excited about the fact that my mom is now super busy with those plans and now I have to try to finish up all of these wedding loose ends while writing my thesis.

On top of this I'm applying for jobs (teaching jobs) and I barely have the time to even look... And my FI and I are planning on moving across the country back to MT in about a month. 

I feel like I"m just doing it all alone. I was supposed to have all of this support and it's just all fallen onto me. The move. Getting a job. Even applying my FI to schools (he has a hard time with the online apps, I don't mind but so little time!). Finishing the last 30 pages of my thesis. Oh... and a graduate recital that has yet to have a set date!

I know this is long and I probably just shouldn't have even taken the time to write it, but if any of you have gone through anything like this and have come out on top let me know. I'm swimming in anxiety right now! :( I just want to know there's some possibility I can get this all done!

Re: Too Much!

  • I'm going to say that I had a similar issue as you last semester, and I got through.  I am a RMA student for a two-year program which has been overseas, but I got an "exchange" semester back home.  My classes were insane, and I was working as well, so my life was literally waking up and working right away, going to class, reading, working until I got too tired to think, and then sleep and repeat.  Then, because I was back home my boyfriend wanted to spend time with me, but it was time I didn't have to spend and I was really falling behind.  And then he decided to propose (which . . . well, I'm happy he proposed, but I was so busy that I didn't actually have time to have it sink in and enjoy it until the semester was over which was two months later, so that was unpleasant), and so then I had to try and get a whole bunch of things figured out for the wedding since I was leaving the country at the end of the semester, plus get everything ready for going back overseas . . .
    I got through, and my grades were okay, and I was even able to get started on my thesis.  Welll, actually that was something else that I had to do because Europe isn't big on sexuality studies in the medieval period so I had to use the North American resouces I could before I left.  But main point - I PREVAILED and so can you!  Just stay organized, and make sure you tell people when you can't do something.  Maybe your sister can help you out, or friends . . . Good luck to you. 

  • I agree with PP, you can do it! I'm in the midst of wedding planning (which luckily is still pretty far away), finishing my MA, doing a full time clinical internship and an assistantship. a lot of the time i feel like it's too much but i can only take it one day at a time. I feel your stress with the moving and finding a job, thats about two months out for me but i often feel like no one understands how stressful that is and i should just be able to deal.

    but at the end of the day I have to think we will get through it, i plan time to do school work/ thesis, etc. and separate time for extra wedding planning and that helps my anxiety some.

    good luck!! and be sure to take time for yourself to relax and enjoy your engagement!
  • I want to point out that your FI should be helping you with wedding plans.  


    That being said, you can do it.  I was also feeling super overwhelmed before my wedding but you have time.  Write out a list of things that need to be done and tackle them one at time or in little bits.  Everything will work out.  Relax a little; your wedding is over 2 months away.  Most of the big things should be done.  No one cares about the little details except you.  If they don’t get done, they don’t get done and your wedding won’t be less amazing or special without them.  HTH and GL!

    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • I agree that your FI should be helping you with the wedding! Hang in there! Both H and I are finishing our PhDs and submitted our dissertations in the last few weeks leading up to the wedding. It was stressful and a lot of work, and we were both pretty grumpy at times, but we knew we needed to keep supporting each other and that we would get through it. And we did! Hang in there, and make sure your FI helps you with as much stuff as he can. :)
  • That is a lot to take in and yeah it can be stressful. But the important thing is to get a handle on your time.

    I'm a graduate student as well and I'm 450 miles away from my fiance and the wedding location. I had to move to go to school :( We make it work and I visit when I can but it still gets lonely. What I think helps is having the fiance help. Depending on the fiance, there may or may not be so much they can do but every little bit helps and its important for them to know that. My future husband is also in graduate school so we try to balance out school and wedding together. It just sucks to be far away. 

    Don't worry, you are not alone. Also, try to take some time for yourself. I found that if I am wound too tight then I can't accomplish anything. I'll just stare at my hw. Don't be afraid to relax. I tend to watch a movie, its like a mini escape.
    <a href=""><img src="" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Daisypath Wedding tickers" /></a>
  • You can do it!  I am going to school full time, working full time and my wedding is also about 70 days away.  All of my bridesmaids live out of state and my family is super busy.  I am also doing a ton of DIY stuff.  I have found that instead of taking breaks from school to relax I take breaks from school to do the fun stuff for my wedding.  And hey school is more important, whats done on your wedding day is whats done.  If it doesnt get done oh well!  Most people wont even know!
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