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April 2013 Weddings

Two Weeks To Go? Oh, it must be time for Drama.

Super vent...

We were all set for a drama-free wedding, minus one little hiccup with FI's bachelor party. Until this past weekend. Why is it that people seem to be able to create drama where there doesn't need to be any right before the big event?

First, there was drama over the block of rooms we booked for the wedding party. FI had offered the rooms to all of HIS friends, and not a single one of mine, which I was MIFFED at him for. One of the rooms opened up, and FI and I agreed to offer it to some of my friends, one of which decided to take it. Well, FI thought I knew that the rooms had been offered to his married/coupled friends, but not the lone single one--which I didn't. So he assumed I would be offering it to my friends AND his lone single friend--which I of course didn't. I assumed his single friend had been offered it and declined. So, major drama because that friend now feels they were left out and so do his other friends. Well, I'm sorry about that--it was completely unintentional... but what about my friends being left out entirely? His single friend was able to book a nearby room at the same hotel. This should not be cause for drama!

Then FI's cousin, who is truly single and was not invited with a plus one, decided to invite a guest. A few weeks ago FI called him to let him know the invite was only for him, and FI asked who the girl was. Cousin seemed to indicate this was a girlfriend who was significant that the family didn't know about. I thought our wedding was a strange place to introduce a longtime girlfriend, but I said that of course she was invited, we didn't know he had a girlfriend. Fast forward to this weekend, we see cousin at an Easter function, and FI asks cousin to tell him about the girl. To which cousin responds, "Oh, she's nobody special. Just some girl." FI nearly blew his top, and asked cousin why he should pay $100 a plate for "some girl" to come to our wedding. Clearly, cousin was out of line, and FI should not have brought up money, but we thought it was settled, since I jumped in and said, "It's fine, we've already made room for your guest." Well, cousin later got into a text war with FI over his date, saying that "it was awkward" and he didn't feel he could "uninvite" his date (which we NEVER asked him to do). So cousin goes off the deep end, uninvites his date and tells us he's not coming to the wedding (FI, by the way, said they were both welcome, multiple times). Great, so now it's costing us twice as much for two plates that will go uneaten. Thanks, cousin! If you think it's going to be any LESS awkward going forward, you have another think coming.

Then there's the bachelorette party drama. Oh dear God, help me. I specifically asked for a low-key event that did not include bar-hopping because I'm not into that, so that's what my MOH planned. Well, now some of the girls (FI's friends) want to go bar-hopping after the dinner that was planned. Now I feel obligated to join them, although I don't really want to, and even though half the people attending don't drink. To add to this mess, one of the attendees was asking we move the party closer to the city (where she lives), but further away from where most of us live. We decided not to do that, and now she's not coming. Seriously?

I really like these people, and dearly love some of them, too--but WHY ARE THEY MAKING ALL THIS DRAMA? I'm tired of dealing with OPD (Other People's Drama). Is there a polite way to tell them to knock it the eff off? All I'm asking them to do is dress up, sit through a short ceremony and be witnesses to our marriage, and then we're throwing a kick-butt party with an awesome dinner. Is that really too much to ask?

Re: Two Weeks To Go? Oh, it must be time for Drama.

  • I soooo feel your pain right now. FI family have been an absolute nightmare the past few weeks. I have been the MOST accommodating and laid back bride yet they still feel the need to try and make my life miserable.

    My bach party is ridiculous now too, if it's even happening at all. It was supposed to be this Saturday but his one sister isn't going because she made plans to attend a baby shower despite knowing the date of my BP for a month and a half. The other sister isn't coming to dinner because The Melting Pot "smells too much like chocolate." WTF? So my awesome BM is like, whatever, we'll try to reschedule for the 20th. So she sends out a message and the sister who has the baby shower says "I can't go any time, I have plans every day from now until the wedding." Are you freaking kidding me? You can't make time to go to the spa with your FSIL for her bachelorette party when YOU ARE IN THE WEDDING?

    They're just being spiteful bc they weren't involved in planning the BP, only because they hijacked my shower and made it all about them, as I've mentioned in PP. 

    I showed his mom the seating chart (worst mistake) and all she says is "ok send this to me and I'll fix it." Ummmm NO?? I wasn't asking you to "fix it" I was just showing you what I did. I did, however, make some fixes to accommodate what she considered big deals to sit people at the same table. As for the rest, no I'm not having her screw up all my arrangements. 

    To top it off the FSIL who refuses to come to my bach party decided to host a house full of extended family for the wedding and is now confused as to why she can't just show up for the ceremony... um what? I told her she needs to be at my house at 10:30 am for hair (that's the latest my hair and MUA said she could be there) and the photog is coming at noon. I straight up said to her mom "she agreed to be a BM, so she has to understand she needs to be in the bridal party photos and if she wants her hair done by the lady coming to my house she needs to be there at a specific time" This is also the FSIL who started TTC in September, got pregnant right away and now complains that she'll look like a "beached whale" in the dress. Sorry lady but you knew the date of my wedding and if you didn't want to stand up there 34 weeks pregnant why did you start trying like 7 months before the wedding?? I don't understand people. (I have no issues with her being pregnant, btw, just fail to see her reasoning there)

    So to wrap it up I understand just how annoying and drama filled people can be as the wedding gets closer. Why everyone else turns into a -zilla I don't understand, seeing as I should probably be the one most stressed out but I'm still managing to be reasonable and nice to my family. I cannot wait to be in St Lucia with my husband relaxing and forgetting about all this BS...
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  • I sent a mass text to all my 5 brothers and sisters that I was unavailable via phone or text until after the wedding. Why? Everyone has been starting drama the last 2 weeks and its driving me nuts. I am the baby of the family by 7-14 years and they are acting like children. So I cut them off and said see ya at the wedding! :D
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  • Sorry that you guys are dealing with all the drama. I think its par for the course when planning a wedding because I am dealing with all this crazy drama from my fiancées family as well.
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  • How about I made and paid for hair and makeup for FMIL and two FSIL because they wanted to have it done so I paid as a nice gesture...... Now they decide they don't want to do it "because our hair is fine and shouldn't be done first in the morning" Okay..... I didn't want you there anyway.... I did it to be nice and now I'm stuck making another phone call to cancel the appts and look like the crazy bride because I've tried to change the times for them.... Cancelled and re added one girl because she was indecisive ...... All what I should be dealing with four days before the wedding. Oh the kicker? I hear this through FI, they don't even call me.... WHO IS THE ONE PLANNING EVERY FRICKING THING, rant over ;)
  •  Breathe Ladies, just Breathe.
     As an older 2nd time around bride. I promise you it will all work it self out.
     Focus on what is under your control, and try not to sweat the small stuff.
     
    Take the time to really soak in your special moments that special day.

    I wish every single one of you the most amazing day ever to start a loving lifetime. <3 
     

    This is pretty cool having a safe place to vent....
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