Michigan-Detroit

Picking MOH

'm struggling deciding who I should choose for my maid of honor. I know that standardly it is right to pick family, but I wanted to get everyone’s opinion... 

There will be 5 on each side and the groom to be has his brother as his best man. I will have my sister in law, sister in law to be, 2 friends from college and my cousin. Growing up, I was always super close to my cousin, and the two friends have basically been my two best friends for the last 10 years. As time has gone on... the relationship with one of the friends has become a touch less involved... live far away from each other and going different directions in life. We are still GREAT friends but just not as strong as in the past. The other friend lives close by, and we see each other often and are in very similar places in life and have the same visions for the future... then my cousin, she is far away as well, and recently had a baby. She and I are still close, but her time is obviously focused on her new family.

 I really want to have my friend who lives nearby as the MOH but I'm worried about hurting the other friend, and possibly my cousin. I think my cousin will understand whole heartedly, but I don't know if the other friend will... 

What are your thoughts.....

Re: Picking MOH

  • It doesn't have to be family. It should be who you feel closest to. If other people are hurt by it, oh well. They are still involved in the wedding. I have been a little hurt when a friend hasn't chosen me as her MOH, but I got over it.
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  • That's a tough one. It doesn't have to be family, and to be honest, you can talk to the one that makes the most sense (the geographically close friend) and see what her thoughts are.

    I have friends I've known for over 40 years, but I picked my daughter who was 16 when we married because, to be honest, it's something she will always remember, and it brought us closer.

    You can also have a Maid of Honor and Matron of Honor (the married one), if you feel conflicted. But that's "old school", LOL.

    Trust me, good friends and close family understand that if only one person is "designated", someone is left out. Mature adults understand this and don't make a big deal out of it. Hopefully the people you mentioned are mature.

    Good luck.
  • if it helps, all the weddings ive been to the MOH or BestMan havent been family to the Bride & groom
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  • In addition to PP comments, you don't need to have a MOH. I don't have one, and everyone is happy.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_picking-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:9215ad2a-edbc-40f2-9a8b-d55be03c2c2cPost:269d9438-e940-4f4d-8b3d-f65eb51aa84a">Re: Picking MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]It doesn't have to be family. It should be who you feel closest to. If other people are hurt by it, oh well. They are still involved in the wedding. I have been a little hurt when a friend hasn't chosen me as her MOH, but I got over it.
    Posted by Meegles4[/QUOTE]

    I completely agree.  Pick who you are closest too.
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  • Thanks everyone, huge help! I'm going to sleep on it a couple more days... but I'm pretty sure I going to go with the Friend that I am closest with that is local. It's just my gut feeling that its the best route and that all parties will understand. I personally would be okay with not having one... but the groom to be is a *slight* groom-zilla (self proclaimed).... and really wants us to both have the sides even and spelled out. 

    Thanks all!
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