Wedding Etiquette Forum


My fiance and I are getting ready to order our invites along with rsvp cards to include. I have two questions... 

1. We have our wedding website set up to where guests may RSVP to the wedding through the website simply by submitting their name and email and it automatically RSVP's them to the wedding. A couple guests have already done this. Would it be rude not to put stamps on our RSVP return envelopes since we are offering for them to simpy do it online? 

2. Our venue is very strict on the amount of guests that we can have. What is a good way to let people know via their invitation or RSVP card that we are not allowing +1's? Is there a nice way to word the RSVP card to say that only the invited guest should RSVP? We don't want to be rude but we absolutley can not go over our number. 

Any input would be helpful!! thanks so much knotties!


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    1.  I'm going to let someone else handle this.  I would probably stamp it anyways, but I'm really not sure about the etiquette there.

    2.  Depends on what you mean by "plus one".  If you mean dates for single guests, then that's fine, you don't have to give them one (althought it's nice).  Just put their name on the envelopes, and no "and guest".  If you want to make it REALLY clear.  Have a line on your RSVP card that says ___ seats have been reserved, and then you can fill in the ___ for each person.  So if you're inviting single Suzy, with no guest, then just write in _1_  in the blank.  Does that make sense?  

    If you meant "plus one" as in people's significant others, then you MUST invite them, no ifs/ands/buts about it.  Everyone's girlfriend/boyfriend/fiance/spouse must be invited.  By name, not as "and guest".  

    Either way, you may have people still try to add someone to the RSVP.  You just have to politely call them and inform them that additional people cannot be accommodated.

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    The invite I just got has a way to rsvp online, but they included stamps on the invitations. Anyone over 50 in my family would not use the online system and would probably be annoyed if I didn't affix a stamp.

    You are inviting the SOs of your guests, right? If they are in a relationship, you need to include their significant other. If that puts you over, then you need to eliminate some of the people you are inviting.

    I would address the envelopes to the people who are invited only. If they add and you cannot accomodate their addition (or do not want to), then you need to call them to say that you can't.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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    We kind of had this conversation a while ago about stamping RSVP envelopes.  I mean, technicallly, RSVP cards aren't even required.  People could call/email/write you their replies.  But if you're going to include a card, I feel like it should be stamped.

    If you really wanted to do just an online RSVP though, and you thought most of your guests would be fine with that, I wouldn't include and RSVP at all.  Those who don't do online will just contact you some other way. 

    But that's just my take.  I'm not sure what an official etiquette source would say.

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    mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper

    Stamp 'em.  Don't make it harder for people to RSVP than it needs to be. 

    Just write on the envelope who you ARE inviting...  Where it'd usually say "and guest" just leave that off.  You'll still probably get someone who RSVPs with a guest so at that point you can either have that difficult discussion or if people have started RSVPing "no" you can decide whether to let it slide or not.  Good luck!

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    In Response to <a href=" BoardsForum:9Discussion:14df73b9-28e1-4eb2-8296-b6ad46bc1fe8Post:51900aa9-a7c6-4b0e-a745-b169a158a87d">Re: RSVP Card HELP!</a>:
    [QUOTE]  But if you're going to include a card, I feel like it should be stamped.
    Posted by monkeysip[/QUOTE]

    ditto this.  You could always just have the card say the website and list a phone number for those who don't want to use the internet, then no cards are necessary.  Provided you're inviting SOs (all bf/gf/fi and spouses) you don't need to give +1s.  Address the envelope to who's invited; do a _<u>1</u>_ seat has been reserved line if you want.  You'll still likely end us with at least one person who responds with an add on; in which case you'll call them up and explain that it couldn't be accommodated.

    Also, curious what online RSVP you're using.  A friend recently did an online RSVP where you entered the name of someone on the invitation as it was written and then it pulled up everyone in the party (i.e. I typed in my name and it pulled up me and H) and then we RSVPd for each of us, there was no way to write in anyone (though I'm sure there was an option if an "and guest" WAS included) so I'm sure that cut down on erroneous +1s
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    I would include the stamp.  We also gave our guests the option of RSVPing with the card or online.  90 percent of our guests used the card, so I'm glad we included stamps.  

    PPs pretty much have the plus one thing covered.
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    Provide stamps.  Even with the stamps on our RSVP cards, we had to track down over 1/3 of the guest list.  It's a headache to get people to RSVP, don't give them a single excuse to not RSVP.

    Please invite all SOs.  Plus 1s are considered dates for singles (singles=no BF/GF/FI/Spouse) and it's ok to exclude +1s but don't put that specifically on the invite.  Listing "Ms. Jane Doe" (without and guest) will get the point across.
    Where there is love, there is life.-Ghandi
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