Wedding Etiquette Forum

Dress Code on Wedding Website?

So, this never occured to me until I started reading this board, but now I'm wondering...

I've added a FAQ section to my wedding website. One of the questions I added (because of course I've heard it a billion times) is "What should I wear?". We're not having a true black-tie wedding, but hope to keep it fairly formal, so have been directing people to dress up. Is this rude? I haven't added it to the invitations or any formal stationery, etc.

Re: Dress Code on Wedding Website?

  • I think that rather than putting on the website what they should wear, link to your venue so that people can see it and decide for themselves what they should wear.
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  • Yep - take it off the website.  Unless your wedding is truly black tie, then by including that info anywhere you are implying that you don't trust your adult guests to dress themselves, which is considered rude.  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dress-code-on-wedding-website?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1f826a0f-1410-4055-a96a-4219d03d6ebbPost:0466b60a-7a24-402a-975c-6e11ec1fd17d">Re: Dress Code on Wedding Website?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think that rather than putting on the website what they should wear, link to your venue so that people can see it and decide for themselves what they should wear.
    Posted by kristbot[/QUOTE]

    <div>This, too.  We included pictures of our venue and links to the venue website. </div>
  • Ditto Kris and Ojitos. Your guests can decide for themselves what is appropriate based on the ceremony and reception venue.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I agree to put a link to the venue. Most people know to dress up for a wedding, honestly,and those who aren't going to aren't going to no matter what. 
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Meh,  I don't really mind too much if you put on the website under FAQ something like 

     "What should we wear?"  - Semi-formal attire is suggested.


     If they are on the website they actually may wonder.  Putting under FAQ along with other information is not a big deal for me.   Now if you had an entire page dedicated to ATTIRE and you specifically say  Men - "Jackets and ties required.  Ladies - cocktail dress or gowns required."  Had pictures of examples, etc.  Then I would think differently.   

    I'll admit we had the same on our FAQ on our website.  Everyone always wears suits/ties/cocktail dresses to weddings. DH refused to wear a suit or tie to the wedding.  Our guests keep calling us because they were truly confused.  We just said something like "The ceremony is on the beach.  Jackets and ties not required.  There will be a shoe valet available to store your shoes during the ceremony".   We were to have long tables set up to leave your shoes.  Then chairs and buckets with brushes were to be setup so people could brush off the sand and put on their shoes easily.  A storm came through so those plans were changed.







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • In Response to Re:Dress Code on Wedding Website?:[QUOTE]I think that rather than putting on the website what they should wear, link to your venue so that people can see it and decide for themselves what they should wear. Posted by kristbot[/QUOTE]
    Also a great idea if your wedding is a nudist resort.
  • I'm going to be the black sheep and say it depends on your crowd.

    For instance, my mom's family literally would not know to not wear jeans to a wedding - even if the venue website clearly looked black tie. It wouldn't matter what the invites looked like. Would not matter one bit. But my mom's family is very small, so when they ask, she's been able to tell them what she's wearing, etc. 

    If you have a very large group, and there are very few weddings in your circle, I think it's fine to include it in your FAQ. I, personally, would appreciate it since I like to check with 400 people about what I wear. I would say describing attire formality would be unnecessary for FI's side - because I think it is - but his cousin just sent out invites that said "black tie preferred." I definitely side-eyed it. I side-eyed it more when I found out the bride and groom were requiring all of their family members to "dress like the ocean." 
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  • Honestly I don't think there is much need to tell people what to wear. My mother was worried someone would wear jeans to ours because some of our family is a little more casual (and the reception location was strictly no jeans), but it turned out fine. If people honestly don't know what to wear, they'll contact you. And, if they dress "wrong," I'm guessing you will have too much going on to really notice and/or care!
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I also think people who specifically go to a website and read FAQs are indeed looking for an answer to a question.  Attire is a valid question someone might have.  What's the point of a FAQ if you don't answer questions people want to know the answer to?

    Now the answer to the question should be in the form of a suggestion.  You should never put NO JEANS or NO  FLIP-FLOPS .  Such and such is REQUIRED.  Just little blurb like "semi-formal" or "causal" is suggested is all you should put.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • LeguLegu member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited April 2013
    In Response to Re:Dress Code on Wedding Website?:I'm going to be the black sheep and say it depends on your crowd.For instance, my mom's family literally would not know to not wear jeans to a wedding even if the venue website clearly looked black tie. It wouldn't matter what the invites looked like. Would not matter one bit. But my mom's family is very small, so when they ask, she's been able to tell them what she's wearing, etc.nbsp;If you have a very large group, and there are very few weddings in your circle, I think it's fine to include it in your FAQ. I, personally, would appreciate it since I like to check with 400 people about what I wear. I would say describing attire formality would be unnecessary for FI's side because I think it is but his cousin just sent out invites that said "black tie preferred." I definitely sideeyed it. I sideeyed it more when I found out the bride and groom were requiring all of their family members to "dress like the ocean."nbsp; Posted by emeejeeayen Dress like the... LOLwhat...? :/
    So, maybe things don't always go as planned... Maybe that's okay. I may be alone for now, but my baby boy is on his way, and I wouldn't change a thing.
  • I am with Lynda in that I would probably put semiformal or casual in a FAQ unless the venue specifically states no jeans/shorts/whatever. I will say the location we are leaning to booking doesn't have pictures on it's website of the ballroom.
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  • I think it's OK under an FAQ section if you are telling people they can dress down, not up. Maybe this only makes sense in my head.

    For instance, I would be fine with:
    "What's the formality of the wedding?" or "How formal is the dress of the wedding?" and you answered, "The wedding is fairly casual." or "Feel free to dress comforably."

    I would have a bigger issue if the answer was: "Guests should dress formally/semi-formally." or "We suggest ties and suits."

    I guess for me, many guests equate weddings with dressy occasions, so letting them know it is totally fine to be more casual for a given wedding is OK, and as a guest, I'd feel relieved to know that, esp. if I expected as such. But I don't think you should tell them to dress up. Most guests default to dressy attire for weddings, and those that don't want to dress up may not even if you tell them to.


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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I hear what you are saying Summer.  Actually that was the reason we did put that on the website. 

     Our island friends knew the deal.  The state-siders not so much.   They are full blown suits/cocktail dress or gowns to wedding.   Our wedding was on a Saturday night.   Huge cocktail hour, full sit-down multi-course meal, open bar, etc.  Add in DH was not wearing a tux, suit, jacket or tie.  Well we were sending mixed messages so it didn't make it easy for them.  They could have worn anything they wanted.  But I'm sure most men would be "WTF?  I'm wore and jacket and tie and the groom didn't?"






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • People know how to dress themselves.  Those who can't, won't be helped by a mere website blurb.

    If your wedding isn't black tie, you have no place dictating dress code.  The formality of your invites, and the formality of the venue (pictures help) will indicate to guests what to wear.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dress-code-on-wedding-website?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1f826a0f-1410-4055-a96a-4219d03d6ebbPost:d85e1753-48bf-4d81-8ef3-318748c3c1aa">Re: Dress Code on Wedding Website?</a>:
    [QUOTE]People know how to dress themselves.  Those who can't, won't be helped by a mere website blurb. If your wedding isn't black tie, you have no place dictating dress code.  The formality of your invites, and the formality of the venue (pictures help) will indicate to guests what to wear.
    Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

    <div>I don't think this takes into consideration people who, like my mom, really DO care, but are just clueless. But my mom would probably ask and is part of a minority, so probably easier to deal with via actual human interaction. </div><div>
    </div><div>Don't mind me and my irrelevant responses ^</div>
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  • Our ceremony is taking place in an open field while the reception is in a barn. Under our FAQ section we are including to dress however they choose, but for the ladies to consider comfortable footwear with the grass and possibly ruining a perfectly nice pair of stiletto heels or hurting themselves.
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  • I think it is okay in the FAQ section, just like it is okay to put registry info on the wedding website (at least according to most of this board when I asked). 
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  • I think that a simple note of "formal", "semi formal" or "casual" is a nice addition to a website though probably not needed in most cases.  I wouldn't elaborate on those terms, guests can figure that out.  I'm also with people that if there is something that will dramatically affect a guests comfort, i.e. the ceramony is on sand or grass or the entire reception is outside, that should be noted.  

    The one thing that I've always been told and I think it is true is that the invite sets the tone and naturally should help dictate the atire to the guests.  I.e. a plain white embossed, two envelop, address hand written in caligraphy invite would be wierd for a casual beach wedding and you would increase your chance of people dressing awkwardly.

    Lastly if in the rare case that either ceramony or reception venue has such a strict dress code that a guest might get approached or turned away for dressing inappropriately, that information should be in the invite and on the website. 
  • I think if your wedding has an element where guests might want to dress down or dress accordingly to a quirk, it's okay to indicate formality.

    For example, marrying on a beach or field:  I'd think it okay to point out the situation and indicate it's casual/semi-formal and point out the setting so guests can plan shoes and clothes accordingly.  If you're doing a costumed wedding for Halloween, indicating that costumes are encouraged because of that vibe would be okay. 

    Our wedding is in a brewery and fairly casual (I'm not wearing white; FI is wearing a suit, not a tux) but we also have an Alice In Wonderland theme.  We had people genuinely believe they needed to dress as characters, and also people who expected to dress black tie from past experience.  We indicated on our site that formal wear wasn't necessary and that people could feel free to dress a little "Wonderland" but ultimately, we wanted people to feel comfortable.  Relatives have been verbally telling older relatives who typically go black tie that a blazer and shirt, e.g., is fine - no tux required.  If someone takes it to mean jeans, then we care not.  Our vibe is actually fine for nice jeans and a dressy top with heels, honestly.  But our invites were really fancy, so like one poster said, there was a mixed vibe and a need to have answers due to getting many questions. 

  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dress-code-on-wedding-website?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1f826a0f-1410-4055-a96a-4219d03d6ebbPost:45657f24-7235-46b5-9026-53c10d6ababa">Re: Dress Code on Wedding Website?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think that a simple note of <strong>"formal", "semi formal" or "casual"</strong> is a nice addition to a website though probably not needed in most cases.
    Posted by SomethingBeautiful08[/QUOTE]

    Does anyone else hate the term "semi formal" or ist it just me?

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