Is it wrong to not want a traditional bridal shower?

JNwedding31

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-it-wrong-to-not-want-a-traditional-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:251b71c1-c500-484b-b6e2-5b9792219be8Post:cae93384-e1eb-4829-a789-ea8d34827a28">Re:Is it wrong to not want a traditional bridal shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Is it wrong to not want a traditional bridal shower?:. I would not like that at all. I do not like being put on the spot.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I love her idea. I would like this much better than the traditional games while eating. For me- being put on the spot is the hour (sometimes way more) of gift opening. 

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JNwedding31

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-it-wrong-to-not-want-a-traditional-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:251b71c1-c500-484b-b6e2-5b9792219be8Post:60130186-6a32-4a22-b8f9-b693ee31bb63">Re: Is it wrong to not want a traditional bridal shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay, when people were suggesting she have a luncheon I don't think they were saying the day-of wedding luncheon the bride does for her bridesmaids etc. They were saying a luncheon instead of a shower with other guests and family invited a few weeks before the wedding. It is this that I don't see how it is any different than a shower and I would still bring a gift and not know I wasn't supposed to. Sounds the same - friends, family, food, mingling, gifts. I have been to many, many showers but never a luncheon. And the last shower I went to we also did that thing where everyone goes around and says how they know the bride. It was hilarious. Really broke the ice.
Posted by scribe95[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes- that's how I took the luncheon suggestion. Not as a day of the wedding thing (I'll be busy enough!) but in lieu of a shower. And I guess I would be confused too upon receiving the invite. So I'll let my MOH & mom know some of the ideas from the PPs above that I'd like to incorporate if they do a shower. They can go from there & decide. I'll be happy as long as my loved ones are there. And mimosas. Love ones and mimosas lol.</div>

hoffse

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_is-it-wrong-to-not-want-a-traditional-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:251b71c1-c500-484b-b6e2-5b9792219be8Post:ee56836b-7e7d-4866-8acb-56132f867078">Re: Is it wrong to not want a traditional bridal shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it wrong to not want a traditional bridal shower? : Yes- that's how I took the luncheon suggestion. Not as a day of the wedding thing (I'll be busy enough!) but in lieu of a shower. And I guess I would be confused too upon receiving the invite. So I'll let my MOH & mom know some of the ideas from the PPs above that I'd like to incorporate if they do a shower. They can go from there & decide. I'll be happy as long as my loved ones are there. And mimosas. Love ones and mimosas lol.
Posted by JNwedding31[/QUOTE]

<div>I've been to both the day-of and the weeks-before luncheons.  They are all lovely.  I actually prefer them the day-of because it feels more intimate in special - a "last meal" if you will.</div><div>
</div><div>That said, no matter when it is hosted, as long as the invitation says "luncheon" and doesn't mention gifts, shower, or registry information you probably won't get too many gifts.  Clearly not everybody knows how to read an invitation, but I would bet that most people think "oh since the invitation says luncheon and not shower, that means it's a luncheon... and not a shower."  And if they wonder, they can always ask the host when they RSVP.</div>