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NWR: First Communion Gift

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Re: NWR: First Communion Gift

  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2013
    At 9 years old they don't know enough about the world, who they are, or where they belong in the world to have first communion be this major accomplishment in your organization's culture that it is touted to be by parents and assorted relatives. The parents subjected thier child to hours of indoctrination that the child could have used to grow as an idividual and experience life. This sacrifice by the child should be rewarded with things that the child can enjoy.

    that's just a really ignorant statement.
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  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-first-communion-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:38fc3169-750e-43a6-9f5f-76c0b49319bbPost:4e18e861-1142-4087-b2aa-7ef5369dd735">Re: NWR: First Communion Gift</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just becuase you view the occasion as sacred doesnt mean that the child does or will in the future, sure you may hope for it, but who are you to dictate a intimate relationship with the diety of your choosing for another person.  <strong>At 9 years old they don't know enough about the world, who they are, or where they belong in the world to have first communion be this major accomplishment in your organization's culture that it is touted to be</strong> by parents and assorted relatives.  <strong>The parents subjected thier child to hours of indoctrination that the child could have used to grow as an idividual and experience life.</strong>  This sacrifice by the child should be rewarded with things that the child can enjoy.
    Posted by doiexist1987[/QUOTE]

    Um, I certainly learned a whole lot about more than just God during my religious ed. courses. And to be honest, I probably wouldn't be doing anything better during that two hours a week.

    Even on just a LITERARY level, the Bible is important because of all of the religious influence and references in many novels. I was surprised that these smart people I met during college didn't understand the religious references beyond Adam and Eve, Noah and the Arc, and a Christ-like figure.

     And education is not indoctrination - indoctrination happens at home, not the few hours a week a child may spend in an RE course or during class if they go to a religiously affiliated school.

    Weren't you taught it's better to tell the truth and apologize for wrongdoing  than to weave a web of lies and deceit? That's a pretty integral part of being an accountable adult. That's the basic gist of reconciliation/first communion - apologize for sins, and be forgiven by the lord. ETA: it's much more than that BUT it's the simplist explaination I could think of.

    BUT the beauty of it is that YOU don't have to celebrate any religious things ever! Yay freedom of religion!
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  • hoffsehoffse member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    OP, what is your budget?  You could do a figurine of some sort if your FI wants it to be personal.  My parents gave us a Lladro figurine for our wedding, and it is beautiful. They make several for first communion, and you can find them on ebay for reasonable prices.  That has a religious element and is personal, but wouldn't necesasrily upstage the parents who might give jewelry, etc.  Like a PP mentioned, I also got a gold cross with a diamond in the center.  I'm not incredibly religious, but I still wear it.  It was from my grandparents and was my first piece of real jewelry.  That might be too personal to come from a cousin, KWIM?

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  • GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-first-communion-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:38fc3169-750e-43a6-9f5f-76c0b49319bbPost:4e18e861-1142-4087-b2aa-7ef5369dd735">Re: NWR: First Communion Gift</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just becuase you view the occasion as sacred doesnt mean that the child does or will in the future, sure you may hope for it, but who are you to dictate a intimate relationship with the diety of your choosing for another person.  At 9 years old they don't know enough about the world, who they are, or where they belong in the world to have first communion be this major accomplishment in your organization's culture that it is touted to be by parents and assorted relatives.  The parents subjected thier child to hours of indoctrination that the child could have used to grow as an idividual and experience life.  This sacrifice by the child should be rewarded with things that the child can enjoy.
    Posted by doiexist1987[/QUOTE]

    Are you kidding me??  I don't know what offends me most here.  The idea that you should ignore the fact that it is a sacramental milestone for the kid or referring to religious education as indoctrination.  I went through twelve years of Catholic school and the ladies on the Catholic Weddings Board will tell you I am the last person to do anything because it is what the church says to do.  And to ignore that it is a religious milestone is like saying to ignore that Baptism and Confirmation are also milestones.
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  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-first-communion-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:38fc3169-750e-43a6-9f5f-76c0b49319bbPost:f7d93e1f-7258-4de1-846c-89827ebf23f5">Re: NWR: First Communion Gift</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR: First Communion Gift : Are you kidding me??  I don't know what offends me most here.  The idea that you should ignore the fact that it is a sacramental milestone for the kid or referring to religious education as indoctrination.  I went through twelve years of Catholic school and <strong>the ladies on the Catholic Weddings Board will tell you I am the last person to do anything because it is what the church says to d</strong>o.  And to ignore that it is a religious milestone is like saying to ignore that Baptism and Confirmation are also milestones.
    Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

    I can bear witness - GLB catches her fair share of flack.


    OAH, I'd give a small token, maybe a miraculous medal or maybe a OT related book (you said you're Jewish and these are teachings that Christian and Jewish agree upon). Add a thoughtful card and maybe like a candy bar (I mean she IS still 9).
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  • OwningAHome1981OwningAHome1981 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to Re:NWR: First Communion Gift:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR: First Communion Gift:In Response to Re: NWR: First Communion Gift : Are you kidding me??nbsp; I don't know what offends me most here.nbsp; The idea that you should ignore the fact that it is a sacramental milestone for the kid or referring to religious education as indoctrination.nbsp; I went through twelve years of Catholic school and the ladies on the Catholic Weddings Board will tell you I am the last person to do anything because it is what the church says to do.nbsp; And to ignore that it is a religious milestone is like saying to ignore that Baptism and Confirmation are also milestones.Posted by GoodLuckBear14I can bear witness GLB catches her fair share of flack. OAH, I'd give a small token, maybe a miraculous medal or maybe a OT related book you said you're Jewish and these are teachings that Christian and Jewish agree upon. Add a thoughtful card and maybe like a candy bar I mean she IS still 9. Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

    I should mention I am jewish by blood but I dont believe or practice. I have never set foot in a temple other than for weddings and I have never opened a torah. I have no clue what the teachings say. Ive chosen to close my mind to religion. I respect them all. I just choose to live my life with an athiestic and agnostic approach.

    If I got a religious gift I dont know what I'd even get. Religion is not my forte. I would also feel weird giving a 9 year a religious token bc I dont know what she'd do with it. This family is not super religious. They dont have religious objects in their home or anything like that and I'm pretty sure this little girl is just going through the motions to appease her parents. I'm not sure how a religious object would go over. If they had crosses or rosary beads in their home, I'd say yeah a religious token would be the way to go, but I am unsure.

    I think FI will be asking his aunt what we should give but thanks for all the great suggestions! He is def going to suggest them to his aunt.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to Re:NWR: First Communion Gift:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:NWR: First Communion Gift: <strong>I should mention I am jewish by blood</strong> but I dont believe or practice. I have never set foot in a temple other than for weddings and I have never opened a torah. I have no clue what the teachings say. Ive chosen to close my mind to religion. I respect them all. I just choose to live my life with an athiestic and agnostic approach. If I got a religious gift I dont know what I'd even get. Religion is not my forte. I would also feel weird giving a 9 year a religious token bc I dont know what she'd do with it. This family is not super religious. They dont have religious objects in their home or anything like that and I'm pretty sure this little girl is just going through the motions to appease her parents. I'm not sure how a religious object would go over. If they had crosses or rosary beads in their home, I'd say yeah a religious token would be the way to go, but I am unsure. I think FI will be asking his aunt what we should give but thanks for all the great suggestions! He is def going to suggest them to his aunt.
    Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]
    Religion isn't hereditary, like hair or eye color. It's a choice.


    In Response to Re: NWR: First Communion Gift:
    [QUOTE]<strong>First communions & Confirmations aren't meant to be big parties like a Bar / Bat Mitzvah.</strong>  After my First Communion, my parents hosted my grandparents & aunts / uncles at our house for lunch.  There may have been 10-15 people tops.  After my Confirmation we had a similar deal.  Extended cousins weren't involved, and gifts weren't expected. A Rosary is not that hard to find.  They can be ordered online very easily.  Stores like Hallmark have simple crosses that can be hung in her bedroom.   OP, what is your point in buying a gift?  If it's to congratulate her, take a minute to realize that she just received for the first time the Body & Blood of Christ in the Eucharist.  It is the source & summit of the Catholic faith.  She already got a pretty amazing gift.  I strongly encourage a gift that will encourage her to persevere in her faith.  When my children receive their First Communion, if a relative gave them $20 (or however much), I would honestly be a bit offended that they don't appreciate just how sacred this occasion is.
    Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]
    You sound really "holier than thou"  there in that bolded part.
    Not all Bar and Bat Mitzvahs involve huge parties, just like not all communions and confirmations are small get togethers.

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_nwr-first-communion-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:38fc3169-750e-43a6-9f5f-76c0b49319bbPost:99e21848-2174-4125-9331-82f9328e5a01">Re: NWR: First Communion Gift</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR: First Communion Gift : Well that's nice. You don't like Catholicism or religion in general.  I get it.  You know that whole "tolerance" thing applies to other people, right?  Btw, the "hours of indoctrination" also include a point when the child has the choice to say yes or no.  There are some stubborn 9 year olds out there. And I know several people who decided not to be confirmed.  <strong> I pray your child becomes a nun or a priest.</strong>
    Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]
    How come?
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  • OwningAHome1981OwningAHome1981 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to Re:NWR: First Communion Gift:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:NWR: First Communion Gift:In Response to Re:NWR: First Communion Gift: I should mention I am jewish by blood but I dont believe or practice. I have never set foot in a temple other than for weddings and I have never opened a torah. I have no clue what the teachings say. Ive chosen to close my mind to religion. I respect them all. I just choose to live my life with an athiestic and agnostic approach. If I got a religious gift I dont know what I'd even get. Religion is not my forte. I would also feel weird giving a 9 year a religious token bc I dont know what she'd do with it. This family is not super religious. They dont have religious objects in their home or anything like that and I'm pretty sure this little girl is just going through the motions to appease her parents. I'm not sure how a religious object would go over. If they had crosses or rosary beads in their home, I'd say yeah a religious token would be the way to go, but I am unsure. I think FI will be asking his aunt what we should give but thanks for all the great suggestions! He is def going to suggest them to his aunt.Posted by OwningAHome1981Religion isn't hereditary, like hair or eye color. It's a choice.In Response to Re: NWR: First Communion Gift:First communions amp; Confirmations aren't meant to be big parties like a Bar / Bat Mitzvah.nbsp; After my First Communion, my parents hosted my grandparents amp; aunts / uncles at our house for lunch.nbsp; There may have been 1015 people tops.nbsp; After my Confirmation we had a similar deal.nbsp; Extended cousins weren't involved, and gifts weren't expected. A Rosary is not that hard to find.nbsp; They can be ordered online very easily.nbsp; Stores like Hallmark have simple crosses that can be hung in her bedroom.nbsp;nbsp; OP, what is your point in buying a gift?nbsp; If it's to congratulate her, take a minute to realize that she just received for the first time the Body amp; Blood of Christ in the Eucharist.nbsp; It is the source amp; summit of the Catholic faith.nbsp; She already got a pretty amazing gift.nbsp; I strongly encourage a gift that will encourage her to persevere in her faith.nbsp; When my children receive their First Communion, if a relative gave them 20 or however much, I would honestly be a bit offended that they don't appreciate just how sacred this occasion is.Posted by TXKristanYou sound really "holier than thou"nbsp; there in that bolded part. Not all Bar and Bat Mitzvahs involve huge parties, just like not all communions and confirmations are small get togethers. In Response to Re: NWR: First Communion Gift:In Response to Re: NWR: First Communion Gift : Well that's nice. You don't like Catholicism or religion in general. nbsp;I get it. nbsp;You know that whole "tolerance" thing applies to other people, right? nbsp;Btw, the "hours of indoctrination" also include a point when the child has the choice to say yes or no. nbsp;There are some stubborn 9 year olds out there. And I know several people who decided not to be confirmed. nbsp; I pray your child becomes a nun or a priest.Posted by TXKristanHow come? Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

    To believe or practice is a choice, but both my parents are jewish so whether or not I believe or practice I still say I'm jewish.
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