Wedding Etiquette Forum

Tacky vs Rude

This is a general question I've been thinking about for a while now. What's the difference, in your opinion, between tacky and rude, and where do you see the overlap?

Sometimes on here people talk about things as being rude that I would define more as tacky. I haven't completely wrapped my brain around what I think the difference is, but I would put things such as tiered receptions in the rude category, cash bars somewhere in the middle, and listing registry information in an invite as tacky. 

Thoughts?
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Re: Tacky vs Rude

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited April 2013
    For me, tacky doesn't affect the guests but is just in poor taste, like cake smashing. Rude affects the guests, like not having chairs or having a cash bar. I agree we sometimes use them interchangeably when they probably aren't.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tacky-vs-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:43fc590f-9eff-4b59-9c94-6c6c1b33d397Post:d285991c-8f48-4375-a226-04b193695cb7">Tacky vs Rude</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is a general question I've been thinking about for a while now. What's the difference, in your opinion, between tacky and rude, and where do you see the overlap? Sometimes on here people talk about things as being rude that I would define more as tacky. I haven't completely wrapped my brain around what I think the difference is, but I would put things such as tiered receptions in the rude category, cash bars somewhere in the middle, and listing registry information in an invite as tacky.  Thoughts?
    Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]

    Good question. I typically think of them synonomously along the lines of tasteless.

    Like the dresses on our tacky treasure hunt aren't rude, but a lot of them are pretty tasteless with the booms hanging out etc...and the lady who did a cake of herself...
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    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tacky-vs-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:43fc590f-9eff-4b59-9c94-6c6c1b33d397Post:7d333bcd-d4e0-4a02-b6f2-69e4c9e594d2">Re: Tacky vs Rude</a>:
    [QUOTE]For me, tacky doesn't affect the guests but is just in poor taste, like cake smashing. Rude affects the guests, like not having chairs or having a cash bar. I agree we sometimes use them interchangeably when they probably aren't.
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    <div>I agree with this distinction.  Tackiness, to me, denotes a lack of class.  Nobody is really harmed by wearing a slutty wedding dress, but everyone in the room is going to be thinking "That is tacky as hell".</div><div>
    </div><div>Rudeness is when the line is crossed and people are inconvenienced.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Things can certainly be BOTH tacky and rude, as well.  Dollar dances, to me, goes into this territory.  Coercion and guilting guests into parting with thier money is rude.  Pinning money onto a bride, or generally paying for a dancing woman is tacky.</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tacky-vs-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:43fc590f-9eff-4b59-9c94-6c6c1b33d397Post:33d75784-6b8f-4daf-916c-a2424264b004">Re: Tacky vs Rude</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tacky vs Rude : I agree with this distinction.  Tackiness, to me, denotes a lack of class.  Nobody is really harmed by wearing a slutty wedding dress, but everyone in the room is going to be thinking "That is tacky as hell". Rudeness is when the line is crossed and people are inconvenienced.   Things can certainly be BOTH tacky and rude, as well.  Dollar dances, to me, goes into this territory.  Coercion and guilting guests into parting with thier money is rude.  Pinning money onto a bride, or generally paying for a dancing woman is tacky.
    Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

    This.
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  • I think even some of those could be rude Stage. For example, if you danced down the aisle in a house of worship with a booty shake or to a song that was not respectful, you've gone from tacky to rude since you're showing a lack of respect to the religion and guests. Wedding tackiness IMO can be the above but to be just tacky it can't be offensive.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tacky-vs-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:43fc590f-9eff-4b59-9c94-6c6c1b33d397Post:d285991c-8f48-4375-a226-04b193695cb7">Tacky vs Rude</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is a general question I've been thinking about for a while now. What's the difference, in your opinion, between tacky and rude, and where do you see the overlap? Sometimes on here people talk about things as being rude that I would define more as tacky. I haven't completely wrapped my brain around what I think the difference is, but I would put things such as tiered receptions in the rude category, cash bars somewhere in the middle, and listing registry information in an invite as tacky.  Thoughts?
    Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]

    If it goes against etiquette, then it's rude (cash bars, registry info on invitations).

    If it goes against my personal tastes, then it's tacky.
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Ditto Joy.   (I've been saying that a lot lately)






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tacky-vs-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:43fc590f-9eff-4b59-9c94-6c6c1b33d397Post:30f2cad5-a103-4753-8cad-021bf673ce8e">Re: Tacky vs Rude</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ditto Joy.   (I've been saying that a lot lately)
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

    Second ditto.  (I find myself in agreement with you two a lot lately!)
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