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WWYD? To invite or not to invite. Long- sorry

Short version: would you invite an old friends if your parents were against them being invited?

Extended story:
I have a situation with one person on my current guest list.  We were very close friends in college and after for an extended period of time.  I would say he was basically my older brother- watched out for me at school, would invite me to hang at his house with his roommates, one of which I started dating for a while, and generally always being there for me.

After he graduated school he actually got a job working with my father.  At first it was fine but over a few years he started to get kinda snarky and began saying some not nice things about my dad.  It was just that whole "being someone's assistant but having your own ideas and wanting to make changes when it isn't really your place to do so yet" mentality.

Eventually he got his own job within the same area, which meant they still worked with each other, and things kept going downhill.  My dad changed to a new school district after a lot of unnecessary drama.  Obviously, his rudeness to my dad put a strain on our friendship.

After I got engaged I saw him at a work convention, where he did a few very mature things.  He apologized for the way he had acted (to me, as far as I know he hasn't actually said anything to my dad), and then congratulated me on my engagement.  We talked for a bit until he had to leave for the evening.  Later I got a text message with his address for an invitation.

My mom is very against him being invited, my dad says he wants whatever I want, and I'm completely torn.  On one hand, he was a unprofessional jerk to my dad and shouldn't have just sent me his address assuming anything.  On the other, he was a very important friend to me.

My parents are paying for most (venue and food), so my head says to just ignore the address and not invite him, but a part of me is also sad that this is what happened to our friendship.

WWYD?  Side with parents and their pockets, or go to bat for an old friend?

ETA: to sum it up at the top

Re: WWYD? To invite or not to invite. Long- sorry

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    You just used the word, "was" a very important friend to me.  I'd say the bad outweighs the good in the instance, and I personally wouldn't invite him.  Good to hear he apologized to you, but maybe he only did that so he could be on your good graces for a possible invite.
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    Maybe see if he wants to apologize to your father? That would be a big basis for my further advice. 

    How large is your guest list? Will your family even really see him there? Will he know anyone else? How upset would your mom be if you invited him and how much are you willing to anger her (potentially) if you do?

    These are all questions you gotta ask yourself.
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    Hmm, this is a tough one because your parents are paying for most of the wedding, so they definitely do get a say. Have you told them about your friend apologizing at the convention? I feel like it might be worth mentioning that you feel he's really matured and - in light of how close you two once were - you'd like to invite him. If after they know that, your mom is open to it, great. However, if they (your mom in particular) are still adamant about him not attending, I would say it might not be worth inviting him. Do you think a scene will be caused between your parents and your friend at the wedding? Would you be worried about that the whole time? A phrase they use on TK a lot is "is this a hill you're willing to die on?" Basically, is this friend important enough to potentially adversely affect your relationship with your parents?
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    I'd vote no, don't bother inviting him.  He should have apologized to your dad not you.
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    That is a tricky situation. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't invite him. He was a special friend to you, but as pp pointed out the key word is "was". I know I wouldn't put up with someone being a jerk to my dad, but if he apologized to my father that would be different. However he apologized to you, and you weren't the person that he wronged the most. If he wasn't mature enough to approach your father and reconcile on his own, I would side with your mother.
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    Also: Is it worth stressing yourself out over one person? Are you really going to like..rekindle your friendship afterwards? I'd just let it go.
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    Thanks all!  I was leaning the same way, I just wanted to get outside opinions on the subject.

    I'm guessing from the other posts on similar subjects that I should just ignore his address text and not address the fact that he isn't invited...
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    If my parents requested I not invite someone and that person wasn't in my top 20 list of people I wanted at my wedding, I wouldn't hesitate to honor their wishes.
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    Are you just going to leave him hanging and not invite him after the text he sent?  Or are you going to follow up and say "my parents' feel it would be best for you to not attend"?  I'm just curious - seems like he put you in a bit of an awkward situation by texting you his address.  Maybe he was just trying to be helpful in case you did want to invite him, I don't know how he worded his text. 

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wwyd-to-invite-or-not-to-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:51ca08d9-ed8c-462d-9ae0-c0425dbddc1cPost:963575d9-1cd1-43c4-aa82-626c4a3ed668">Re: WWYD? To invite or not to invite. Long- sorry</a>:
    [QUOTE]Are you just going to leave him hanging and not invite him after the text he sent?  Or are you going to follow up and say "my parents' feel it would be best for you to not attend"?  I'm just curious - seems like he put you in a bit of an awkward situation by texting you his address.  Maybe he was just trying to be helpful in case you did want to invite him, I don't know how he worded his text. 
    Posted by kerbohl[/QUOTE]

    <div>Um... I honestly have no idea.  From lurking around and reading, I've heard its really rude to have the "you're not invited" convo, so I figured that would be the lesser of the two evils.</div><div>
    </div><div>His text was pretty much just his address...  I know he was just doing it to be helpful, it just makes the awkward situation with him versus my dad even more awkward.</div>
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    I'd hold off for now.  See if he apologizes to your father and/or makes other gestures that indicate regret for his past behavior, and then make your decision.
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    Would it be crazy wierd for your to and write out a note saying that it was great to run into him... maybe inviting him to a summer BBQ... to go out to dinner with the FH if that is something you are interested in.  If not maybe send a note that was great to run into him and that you hope to run into him again at maybe next year's convention??? sometime after the wedding so he might get the hint.  Obviously, if you talk to him between now and the wedding, keep the focus off the wedding.

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