Buying off-registry

bunni727

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_buying-off-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8357dd5c-2578-496f-a56d-8ac1c092561bPost:0bc59045-e7af-4bc8-b7bd-47f6b1fd2666">Buying off-registry</a>:
[QUOTE]I'll admit it, I'm guilty of registry-stalking.  My shower is April 20th and I can't help myself from looking at our BB&B registry from time to time because it's so fun to see what we're getting! While doing this, I happened to notice items on our registry that I didn't remember registering for (and FI said he hadn't touched the registry) and that I really don't even like (specifically kitchen towels in a pattern I don't care for), but it said people had purchased them for us. T<strong>hinking it was a computer glitch, I talked to someone from customer service and they said guests can purchase something off-registry and basically have it added to your registry.  </strong>That explains the kitchen towels and just today, I noticed the same thing happened with a picture frame we never registered for. So apparently, people are going to BB&B, buying things not on the registry and adding them to the registry.  Is this a common thing? Now, I know that on the day of the shower, I will graciously accept any gift I'm given and I will express nothing but gratitude to the giver, but to be honest, I'm finding myself baffled and a little annoyed.  I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but we have a whole registry full of stuff (over 100 items) in every price point ranging from $4 to $100 and every price point in between of stuff we actually want and need that we picked out.  I just can't understand why people would go to the store we're registered at and then pick something not on the registry.  For example, there are at least 4 different picture frames on the registry that we actually liked and took the time to pick out.  But someone picked one not on the registry and then had it added onto the registry.  I really don't want to seem ungrateful, and I promise I will be gracious and not show any dissatisfaction to any of the givers of these gifts.  I'm just trying to understand the logic behind it, because if someone had a registry, I couldn't see myself buying them something that was not on it.
Posted by walgrrl[/QUOTE]

We didn't have any issues with our registry, but the bolded creeps me out a little. You mean the ugly towels are on your registry for everyone else to see now? If that was the case with mine, a certain group of sweet ladies from my church would see it and say, "Oh, she must like that pattern: let's go in together and get everything for her kitchen in it! She'll need oven mitts, s&p shakers, a paper towel dispenser, a cookie jar, a clock, some serving dishes...does anybody know how many windows are in her kitchen, so we can get the curtains, too?"

As a gift giver, I prefer to pair an off-registry gift with something from the registry if i know the couple well enough to do so successfuly. H and I bought the sheets a friend registered for, and I made them a quilt to match the color scheme they were going for in their bedroom.

Some of our favorite gifts were completely off-registry: My brother got us a new laptop with a blu-ray player, and my so-not-crafty-or-domestic bff had her mom help her crochet a throw blanket for our living room. The only off-registry gift I have ever been annoyed by was a casserole caddy that had clearly been used, complete with spagetti sauce stains.

bunni727

Confession: I have a universal wishlist through Amazon, and people buy me things from it.

I started it in college to keep track of things I thought were nifty, but I couldn't afford, so when I saved up enough I could get them. My mom thought this was the coolest thing ever, so she knows where to find it, as do my brother and H. I usually get a few gifts from there for birthday and Christmas.

Ro041

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_buying-off-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8357dd5c-2578-496f-a56d-8ac1c092561bPost:5fdbbc58-ee96-4e2d-b032-f8b21de8fcdf">Re: Buying off-registry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Buying off-registry : This is precisely why I despise registries.  Gifts are supposed to be a surprise.  Have you thought of maybe doing some volunteer work or charity work to better occupy your time?
Posted by antibride2013[/QUOTE]

<div>Glass houses, man.  You shouldn't throw stones in them.  </div><div>
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hoffse

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_buying-off-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8357dd5c-2578-496f-a56d-8ac1c092561bPost:a35faa4c-6e12-4965-8c24-8472fc5c1344">Re: Buying off-registry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Buying off-registry : Yep, which was a rude and bitchy thing to say. As for the birthday question, there are a couple of considerations.   First, most adults don't have Birthday parties with gifts involved, and children usually DO make a list, which the parent has and uses to pass along suggestions to those who ask.  Second, birthday gifts tend to be much smaller investments, often not meant to last for years and years (a toy, DVD, gift card, etc).  Gifts for a wedding are intended for the couple's home and life together.  They tend to be significantly pricier, and need to coordinate with the couple's taste and current furnishings.   That is actually why registries were started, because no polite adult is going to rattle off a bunch of specifics when asked what they want for their wedding.  So, instead, they make a list that allows guests who CHOOSE to give them a physical gift to purchase one that will definitely fit the couple's home and lifestyle.  Blowing $12 on an action figure my nephew already has or is no longer interested in is a little different than blowing $200 on a china pattern my brother and sister in law hate.  
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>All of this.  Our favorite and our least favorite items were off-registry.  We will proudly display our favorites (Lladro figurine, antique anniversary clock restored by an uncle, etc.) and quietly donate the least favorites (platter with butterflies on it) and that will be that.  But seriously, H and I NEED certain items, and we have been keeping track of our registries so we know how much of an investment we are looking at for ourselves here.  For those who know us really well, buying off-registry is exciting.  But I personally hate most surprises, and we did receive a few gifts that just sort of made me scratch my head.  They were from folks who don't know our tastes, and we would be more likely to keep that gift if they had just stuck with the registry.

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antibride2013

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_buying-off-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8357dd5c-2578-496f-a56d-8ac1c092561bPost:49fdf219-35d3-4093-b0ff-b56ab065bed7">Re: Buying off-registry</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Buying off-registry : Glass houses, man.  You shouldn't throw stones in them.  
Posted by Rochelle041[/QUOTE]

What on earth would give the impression I "throw stones in glass homes"?  I practice what I preach.</div>