Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bridal Shower +1?

I just found out someone RSVP'ed with a +1 at my bridal shower. A family member had mentioned that a few family members were all carpooling with a cousin of my parents. When he mentioned the names, I assumed he was mistaken when he mentioned a cousin of my parents that wasn't on the bridal shower invite list, because she is not invited to the wedding. Later that day, I was talking to a bridesmaid who said someone had RSVP'ed with a +1, and I realized it was this cousin. 

I talked to my parents about it last night, and they said they didn't know anything about it. I would add her to our invite list for the wedding, but one of my parents has over 50 cousins just on one side, and she is one of them. They had no idea if I should invite her now or not. 

We don't plan on adding her on, but the bridal shower is later today, and I'm hoping she understands we couldn't invite everyone we wanted to invite, but she simply wanted to be included in the bridal shower. My question is how do I respond to her if I'm wrong, and she thinks she is invited to the wedding? Our invites are going out next week, so it won't be obvious that everyone else got an invite and she didn't. 

Re: Bridal Shower +1?

  • That's crazy! I wouldn't worry about it - if she didn't receive an invite to the shower, she shouldn't be assuming that she's invited to the shower or the wedding.  If she says something like, "I'm so excited for the wedding", I'd just simply respond by smiling and changing the subject, or with something like, "thank you" then bean dip her.  I hope she doesn't jump onto someone else's invite for your wedding and just show up uninvited!

    Someone I work with (that I barely know) asked me about my wedding one day before a meeting, and responded with something along the lines of, "I'm so excited!", to which I just smiled and changed the subject.  I think she probably just said that by accident, but I just chose not to acknowledge it.  I think she was just trying to be friendly and act excited for me, but it was slightly awkward.

    Have a great time at your shower, try not to let this ruin the day!

  • I agree. If she didn't receive an invite for the shower, she shouldn't be surprised about not having an invite to the wedding.

    I went to one for my co-worker's daughter a few years ago just because I watched her grow up and was excited for her and the family. I wasn't invited to the wedding and I was good with athat.
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    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

  • Everything turned out fine. I guess she went so she could drive a few elderly family members because they all live further away. I didn't find this out until they were leaving because someone made a joke about it, but I'm glad I found out the reasoning. I'm also really glad she did come because I hadn't realized the person I thought would drive them couldn't make it. 

    There was also another elderly family member that RSVP'ed no because she is no longer able to drive. My family has always been really good about making sure someone can pick her up, but apparently no one realized no one else had contacted her. 
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