What did I do wrong?

Boobopgirl

So...my invites only have one envelope, but i addressed some of them to Mr. and Mrs. so and so and family.  But for whatever reason, some of them are now telling me (accusing) that I didn't invite their kids and I know that I did.  Why are they not understanding that "and family" means "the people that live under your general roof."

NYCMercedes

Nothing? Maybe they wanted each child's name listed. Some people are hard to please. Let it go.

AddieCake

When they call and complain, tell them, "Your kids ARE invited. That's why I wrote 'and family' on your invitation." 

banana468

Just clarify that the 'and family' meant the kids.

For the future, you should have written out the children's names on the invitation.

Writing 'and family' is OK on things like a Christmas card.   The idea is that it's a general message.    The wedding invitation is specific.   You want certain people to be there and you need a head count.   That begins by being specific with names on the invitation.

JoanE2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_what-did-i-do-wrong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:4063f0eb-8eb2-49a7-acb4-ef2fb4e524f2Post:0d51ce37-2de0-4d6d-877f-460d87ab80a6">Re: What did I do wrong?</a>:
[QUOTE]Just clarify that the 'and family' meant the kids. For the future, you should have written out the children's names on the invitation. Writing 'and family' is OK on things like a Christmas card.   The idea is that it's a general message.    The wedding invitation is specific.   You want certain people to be there and you need a head count.   That begins by being specific with names on the invitation.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Ditto.  Also, we did "The Smith Family" for the outer envelope.  The inner envelope listed everyone's name.

</div>

lovesclimbing

I wrote Mr. and Mrs. and family on all of the invitations where there were children in the household.  Everyone who attended who had kids brought their kids: no confusion.

I honestly do not understand how people can think that "and family" does not include kids.  Who the heck does it include then?

Jen4948

You did nothing wrong.  Unfortunately, there are those out there who: 1) get pissy no matter what, 2) want their kids to be invited to and part of everything, if not the actual center of attention, and 3) don't understand or care about invitation etiquette.

Even though the etiquette holds that people are supposed to "understand" that if their kids' names are not listed, then they are not invited, and that "and family" means that the entire household, kids included are invited, all too often they don't get it and situations like yours come up.  But then again, that's why so many people make etiquette inquires in the first place-because they don't know or aren't sure.