What to include?

winter_dreams

Hi everyone,
I was wondering what I should include in my wedding invitation package.  So far I have (on different "pages"):

-The actually invitation
-RSVP
-Direction, Accommodations, Airport Information
-Gift policy/Registry Information

Am I missing anything?  I don't know why but it feels as though I do and I can't put my finger on it!

Additional info: we're having guests that will be coming in from NC, SC, TX, Montreal CAN, and Paris FR.  Our wedding is in WV.

itzMS

What is a gift policy? Registry information shouldn't be a part of your invitation.

winter_dreams

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_what-to-include?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:86bcfe93-eaf6-4513-aa72-25eb72d5db76Post:e7db0e7b-11bd-46f1-8c8d-4819dd2fc9a4">Re:What to include?</a>:
[QUOTE]What is a gift policy? Registry information shouldn't be a part of your invitation.
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

<p style="text-align:center;" align="center">About Gifts:
The very best present we can receive is your presence at our wedding and your love and support as we embark on this adventure together.</p> <p style="text-align:center;" align="center">We recognize that especially for those of you coming from far away, simply attending our wedding will already entail spending money on travel and hotel accommodations.
Homemade, handmade, and second hand gifts are welcomed and appreciated. Many of you are contributing your time and energy to this event, and for the gift of your participation we thank you.</p> <p style="text-align:center;" align="center">To make it easier for the more traditional gift givers among you, we have set up a registry on -------------------------------</p><p style="text-align:center;" align="center"> </p><p style="text-align:center;" align="center"> </p> If it shouldn't be included in the invitation package on a different page, then where do I put this info?  I've read and fully understand the following:

<strong>Gift Registry</strong> – Even if the stores where you registered provides gift registry cards, <strong>DO NOT</strong> include the cards that contain information about your registry in your invitations. It’s impolite for you to start the conversation about gifts. According to traditional American etiquette, wedding gifts are purely optional. That’s why it’s uncouth to include any mention of gifts with your invitation – it comes across as if you are expecting a gift. Ask family, friends and the bridal party to spread the news when people ask; you can also put this information on your wedding website. (<a href="http://celebrateintimateweddings.wordpress.com/2011/08/29/what-to-include-with-your-wedding-invitations/)" rel="nofollow">http://celebrateintimateweddings.wordpress.com/2011/08/29/what-to-include-with-your-wedding-invitations/)</a>

The thing is that I'm having some out of country guests...

itzMS

Uhhh. Wow. I don't have words. PLEASE DON'T DO THIS. It is so tacky. You cannot suggest to guests what gifts to give you. Registry information can be spread via word of mouth, and ONLY if someone asks.

winter_dreams

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_what-to-include?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:86bcfe93-eaf6-4513-aa72-25eb72d5db76Post:717abc0b-fce7-4a35-bf2e-25b3585af029">Re:What to include?</a>:
[QUOTE]Uhhh. Wow. I don't have words. PLEASE DON'T DO THIS. It is so tacky. You cannot suggest to guests what gifts to give you. Registry information can be spread via word of mouth, and ONLY if someone asks.
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

Okay, I had no idea.  Is it okay to put this on our wedding website then?
Am I still missing anything...The Invitation package seems, a little empty I guess.  Still can't shake the feeling that something's missing

itzMS

You can include links to your registry on the website, but you need to scrap the "Gift Policy" rules entirely. All you need is the invite, RSVP card with postage, and maybe a reception, accomodations, or directions card.

winter_dreams

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_what-to-include?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:86bcfe93-eaf6-4513-aa72-25eb72d5db76Post:104e91e6-6b6c-44c6-a626-03fa3bece398">Re:What to include?</a>:
[QUOTE]You can include links to your registry on the website, but you need to scrap the "Gift Policy" rules entirely. All you need is the invite, RSVP card with postage, and maybe a reception, accomodations, or directions card.
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

Thank you.  I guess I'm just loosing it a little with all that work! lol

FizzySips

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_what-to-include?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:86bcfe93-eaf6-4513-aa72-25eb72d5db76Post:717abc0b-fce7-4a35-bf2e-25b3585af029">Re:What to include?</a>:
[QUOTE]Uhhh. Wow. I don't have words. PLEASE DON'T DO THIS. It is so tacky. You cannot suggest to guests what gifts to give you. Registry information can be spread via word of mouth, and ONLY if someone asks.
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]



Yes, word of mouth to those who ask about gifts.

The invite package doesn't have to be overly complicated. Sounds like you've nailed the other requirements (invite, RSVP, travel/accommodations).

winter_dreams

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_what-to-include?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:86bcfe93-eaf6-4513-aa72-25eb72d5db76Post:f8b1c6e7-c719-46fd-881d-42c5e3842aa9">Re:What to include?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:What to include? : Yes, word of mouth to those who ask about gifts. The invite package doesn't have to be overly complicated. Sounds like you've nailed the other requirements (invite, RSVP, travel/accommodations).
Posted by Rachaellennon[/QUOTE]
Well, I guess I have.  I don't know where the feeling is coming from.  Maybe its just because I haven't finished "formatting" everything except for the invitation itself.  Just can't seem to get the "look" for the RSVPs and Directions.  I'm DIY everything.  Its a little tough and I want my FI to be happy with everything.

Quick other question: on the RSVPs, should I make individual RSVPs by ommiting the M______ and just entering the person/peoples names (Mrs Jane Doe and Mr John Doe, on separate lines)?  I've read horror stories about this, and would like to avoid those scenarios myself (example: my FI's parents recently became divorced, we don't want the mistress there, and want to make sure its crystal clear).
Where can I put the menu options?  On the RSVPs or elsewhere?

itzMS

If FIs father is in a relationship, you have to invite his SO. She isn't a "mistress" if the parents are divorced. FI should talk privately to his father about the situation if there are concerns. Blatantly not inviting the father's SO is really rude. Google "RSVP Cards with meal options" and you will find plenty of examples.

winter_dreams

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_what-to-include?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:86bcfe93-eaf6-4513-aa72-25eb72d5db76Post:dd2483c8-4bce-4795-a0b2-1ff7fafb84d7">Re:What to include?</a>:
[QUOTE]If FIs father is in a relationship, you have to invite his SO. She isn't a "mistress" if the parents are divorced. FI should talk privately to his father about the situation if there are concerns. Blatantly not inviting the father's SO is really rude. Google "RSVP Cards with meal options" and you will find plenty of examples.
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

Oh I know, it would be <em>absolutely inconceivable</em> to omit inviting the MISTRESS that caused his perents divorce...what <em>ever</em> was I thinking? 

I'm asking about formatting.  <u>This post is under Invites and Pape</u>r, not Etiquette.

SlothGoals

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_what-to-include?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:86bcfe93-eaf6-4513-aa72-25eb72d5db76Post:66d670a6-28a4-4f97-b2aa-3481e4d69869">Re:What to include?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:What to include? : Oh I know, it would be absolutely inconceivable to omit inviting the MISTRESS that caused his perents divorce...what ever was I thinking?  I'm asking about formatting.  This post is under Invites and Paper, not Etiquette.
Posted by winter_dreams[/QUOTE]

It takes two people to cheat. By your estimation then FI's father shouldn't be invited either.

winter_dreams

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_what-to-include?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:86bcfe93-eaf6-4513-aa72-25eb72d5db76Post:8f17160e-c8b8-43c1-bf4b-242dd6729c28">Re:What to include?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:What to include? : It takes two people to cheat. By your estimation then FI's father shouldn't be invited either.
Posted by kristbot[/QUOTE]

I completely agree.  His invitation isn't official yet.  I'm leaving that up to my FI. I'll prepare the invites, and he'll let me know what name(s) go on the envelopes as far as his guests are concerned.
Just want to know how I should format the RSVPs in case my FI wants his father there.

winter_dreams

On a side note, I'm not entirely sure what to include on the "Directions" insert, asides from the complete address of the venue, on- and off-site accommodations, and airport info.  Should I include a map?
Specifically: the venue is up in the mountains, and the venue itself is a historical village.  I'm not sure how to make a map to include all that info, let alone make it look right (in keeping with the theme of the invitation).  I tried and it looks off (well, like a 1st grader did it, so awful is the right word I guess).
Any suggestions?
Should I just have a general map of the location of the venue (ie, like Google Maps or Map Quest), the venue map, or both?

itzMS

This has to be MUD, otherwise, the OP is one of the most immature, entitled, and rude brides I've ever heard of.

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_what-to-include?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:86bcfe93-eaf6-4513-aa72-25eb72d5db76Post:66d670a6-28a4-4f97-b2aa-3481e4d69869">Re:What to include?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:What to include? : Oh I know, it would be absolutely inconceivable to omit inviting the MISTRESS that caused his perents divorce...what ever was I thinking?  I'm asking about formatting.  <strong>This post is under Invites and Pape r, not Etiquette.</strong>
Posted by winter_dreams[/QUOTE]

It doesn't matter where it is. We're not going to condone rude behavior on any of the boards regardless of what they are called.

It is up to your FI if he wants to invite his father, so I'm not touching that. But if he IS invited, his SO absolutely needs to be invited as well. Like a PP said, it takes two people to cheat, and she is not considered a "mistress" now that the parents are divorced. She is considered his significant other.

winelover123

Sorry OP, but I agree with PPs. If the father is in a relationship, you have to invite the SO regardless of your own feelings. If your FI doesn't want to invite his dad, that's up to him. If does though, FFIL's girlfriend needs to be invited. Put your registry information on your website, not in the invitation.

As a side note - it doesn't go over well when you tell people what to post.

winter_dreams

Well, I do find it strange that people go off on a tangent.  My FI's situation was just an example.  Is it really that hard to stay on topic?  Regardless.  I figured things out as far as my invitation package.  I will no longer be responding to this post.

itzMS

Enjoy being rude! Hope u have a special snowflake day!

banana468

In Response to Re:What to include?:[QUOTE]Well, I do find it strange that people go off on a tangent.nbsp; My FI's situation was just an example.nbsp; Is it really that hard to stay on topic?nbsp; Regardless.nbsp; I figured things out as far as my invitation package.nbsp; I will no longer be responding to this post. Posted by winter_dreams[/QUOTE]

And we find it strange that you think it's OK to be rude. So there's that.

JillianNJohn

You are making the entire invite "package" a heck of a lot harder than it has to be. We included, invite. RSVP with stamped envelope, lodging info, and THAT'S IT. Guests can find directions online. We could have put lodging info online but opted to not do a website. And so far they have almost all thanked us for including hotel info to make it easier on them. I didn't need a huge package for an invite.... I'm inviting them to come share our special day with us as we become husband and wife, not trying to sell them a house. :-)

JillianNJohn

You are making the entire invite "package" a heck of a lot harder than it has to be. We included, invite. RSVP with stamped envelope, lodging info, and THAT'S IT. Guests can find directions online. We could have put lodging info online but opted to not do a website. And so far they have almost all thanked us for including hotel info to make it easier on them. I didn't need a huge package for an invite.... I'm inviting them to come share our special day with us as we become husband and wife, not trying to sell them a house. :-)

suzie211

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_what-to-include?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:86bcfe93-eaf6-4513-aa72-25eb72d5db76Post:b63d26c3-5b39-4d0c-9bb4-df6e88af4854">Re:What to include?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:What to include? : I completely agree.  His invitation isn't official yet.  I'm leaving that up to my FI. I'll prepare the invites, and he'll let me know what name(s) go on the envelopes as far as his guests are concerned. Just want to know how I should format the RSVPs in case my FI wants his father there.
Posted by winter_dreams[/QUOTE]

If your ticker is correct, you have over a year still until your wedding.  Why are you worrying about invites and formatting now?  Relationships could drastically change between now and next year when they need to go out.  Unless you are sure your guest list is 100% set in stone as of today (which it sounds like it isn't based on the FIL remarks), I wouldn't worry about this until much closer to your wedding.