Bridesmaids dress drama help! Poll!

mandctaft

So my aunt has yet to order my cousin's dress. I absolutely HAVE to have it ordered this week or they can't guarantee it'll be here on time.

I said I can pay for the dress now if I can get the money back before the wedding because I'm going to need that money for the wedding stuff. She agreed at first but then my uncle disagreed so now I have no idea what to do.

Should I order my cousin the dress and chance eating the costs, talk to someone else about filling in, or just not do anything? Another cousin of mine said a little while back she'd fill in for me if I needed. I really like the uniform look of the same amount of people on each side and my other cousin and I have gotten closer since I picked bridesmaids.

PLEASE HELP!

PS. Cousin is in college and aunt and uncle don't want her to have a job her first year so her paying for it is a no.

Meghannsix

My thoughts, which in no way should be your thoughts, but just what I would do in this situation:  If it's important for you to have her as a BM, pay for the dress.  You may or may not get your money back, accept this, and be prepared to drop it if she does not pay you back.  If you decide not to pay for the dress, and she doesn't order it either, get used to the idea of uneven sides.  Seriously, who's going to count?  You?  I think you'll be busy with your focus elsewhere.  Please don't get a replacement BM or drop a GM to "keep things even".  Anyone else that counts your WP and it's uneven sides, and is bothered, might have issues.  Good luck!

emilyb213

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_bridesmaids-dress-drama-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:cd34e154-72b6-49a5-8796-560a3b3a6aaaPost:91cddfdc-afb9-4355-baae-11372bc84f77">Re: Bridesmaids dress drama help! Poll!</a>:
[QUOTE]My thoughts, which in no way should be your thoughts, but just what I would do in this situation:  If it's important for you to have her as a BM, pay for the dress.  You may or may not get your money back, accept this, and be prepared to drop it if she does not pay you back.  If you decide not to pay for the dress, and she doesn't order it either, get used to the idea of uneven sides.  Seriously, who's going to count?  You?  I think you'll be busy with your focus elsewhere.  Please don't get a replacement BM or drop a GM to "keep things even".  Anyone else that counts your WP and it's uneven sides, and is bothered, might have issues.  Good luck!
Posted by Meghannsix[/QUOTE]

All of this. If you want her there, pay for the dress. If you don't pay for it, you might have uneven sides. At the end of the day, you'll still be just as married. Even if you have someone who says they're willing to step in, think about the message that's sending: You're telling the replacement that they weren't important enough to be your first choice, but they're *good ennough* to be a fill-in, and you're telling the original girl that having even sides matters more than the people actually filling those positions.

sparkles776

I knew when I asked one of my girls to be a BM that she was going to have a hard time affording the dress since she is a single mother. I was fully prepared going into it that I was most likely going to purchase her dress, I am definitely not made of money but it was super important to me to have her standing up next to me on my day. Agree with PP, bridesmaids are people and they should be the people closest to you, not props for photos. No one is going to care at all if you have uneven sides, I do and it was intentional, FI wanted to ask more people than I did, I did not fill a spot just so it could be uniform.

NicoleMarcelle

I agree with PPs If it is really important to you that she stand up with you, then buy the dress and be prepared to eat the cost.  If you cannot buy the dress, then just leave the sides uneven, no one will care Have a BM walk with two GM. 

Meghannsix

And for the record, I have uneven sides.  My sister "politely declined" to be a BM, and I already had who else was important for me.  End result:  3 BM and 4 GM, to further add to mismatch, two FG's and one RB.

erinlin25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_bridesmaids-dress-drama-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:cd34e154-72b6-49a5-8796-560a3b3a6aaaPost:91cddfdc-afb9-4355-baae-11372bc84f77">Re: Bridesmaids dress drama help! Poll!</a>:
[QUOTE]My thoughts, which in no way should be your thoughts, but just what I would do in this situation: <strong> If it's important for you to have her as a BM, pay for the dress.</strong>  You may or may not get your money back, accept this, and be prepared to drop it if she does not pay you back.  If you decide not to pay for the dress, and she doesn't order it either, get used to the idea of uneven sides.  Seriously, who's going to count?  You?  I think you'll be busy with your focus elsewhere.  Please don't get a replacement BM or drop a GM to "keep things even".  Anyone else that counts your WP and it's uneven sides, and is bothered, might have issues.  Good luck!
Posted by Meghannsix[/QUOTE]

she would be so hurt if you "replaced" her.  she is probably upset enough that she cannot afford it on her own, so that will just add salt to the wound.  If she is important to you (and I would think yes if she is in your wedding party) then do what you can to help her out.  Talk to your aunt and maybe you guys can split the cost?  Did you talk to your cousin to begin with in terms of what her budget was?

KaySea6213

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_bridesmaids-dress-drama-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:cd34e154-72b6-49a5-8796-560a3b3a6aaaPost:6756ddda-dd7f-46da-8781-b82236f4d358">Re: Bridesmaids dress drama help! Poll!</a>:
[QUOTE]And for the record, I have uneven sides.  My sister "politely declined" to be a BM, and I already had who else was important for me.  End result:  <strong>3 BM and 4 GM, to further add to mismatch, two FG's and one RB.</strong>
Posted by Meghannsix[/QUOTE]

Mine is almost the exact same! 4BM and 5GM.

jeff0908

If you are worried about the cost just wait and see if she can get it and if not have the best man stand with the groom and your moh walk down with a gm, that's what we are doing we had a bridesmaide drop out last minute.