Icing On The Cake

Hello+Panda

Sorry but I need to rant.
One of my friends recently decided to have the wedding she never got to have because she had a JOP ceremony. She told me that my wedding planning "inspired" her to move forward with her dream. Groan. She has been married almost 10 years, has five children, will be having a cash bar, a honeymoon registry, and a dollar dance. She will be renting a mansion which requires OOT guests to pay for lodging in the mansion. She will have bridesmaids. Her wedding dress budget is $5k. I am tempted to send her to TK E-Board but this place has become my wedding planning refuge. Yeah I'm snarky and judgemental. But I've also been singlehandedly planning a wedding on a $2000 budget, working on DIY projects, and guess what? I have literally been waiting years to have my dream wedding to the man of my dreams. Don't insult me by having a PPD do-over, because what I'm doing isn't easy and E6000 is rough on my acrylics. And in the same vein, I find it insulting to people who had a JOP ceremony - all wedding ceremonies are created equal in my eyes. /endrant

kmmssg

DD's 2 SIL's did this a couple of years ago.  Double vow renewal.  They both JOP'd - as did my entire family until I came along. One SIL had been married for 22ish years, the other for 7-8ish years.

My DD and SIL had a smaller-mediumish wedding with white dress, couple of BM's, alcohol, dinner, and dancing.  SIL is the "favored" child in the family and rumor had it they envied his wedding.  I'm really not being snarky about that, it came from their mom!

They threw PPD's complete with bach parties.  It was not well received but the fam and friends did show up.  One of them wanted DD as her MOH and DD said she would do it but wasn't spending a dime on BM dresses, parties, etc.  PPD Bride was good with that and financed the whole shot.  She even did hair/make-up trials.

Her PPD can only insult you if you CHOOSE to let that happen.  You have 2000.00 to work with and you are DIYing and getting everything you can out of your money.  You are really putting your heart into it and those are weddings I love.

I don't know your friend and this will be pretty judgy, but most people I know who have 5 kids (WE had 5 kids!) don't have that kind of money lying around to blow on a PPD re-do.  They are probably spending money they should prioritize for other things like savings, retirement, etc but she has chosen to do this.

I think her honeymoon registry is going to flat out bomb.  Would she recognize your knottie name if you sent her here?  We could discuss this with her.....

Or (and this is just a joke) you could send her to Weddingbee.  They have a post over there with hundreds of replies and it is only for girls planning PPD's.  Detractors aren't welcome.  Go figure.

Marrin713

In Response to Re:Icing On The Cake:
[QUOTE]With five kids, she couldn't find something better to spend her money on?
Posted by EllaYoung[/QUOTE]

 Seriously!?  I have the same question as Ella.

Hello+Panda

I know her parents are paying for a great deal because they think its a great idea. She has five BMs and they are all psyched about it. I don't feel like I'm being upstaged or that my day is being ruined, I'm just irritated that our circle is so obsessed with weddings and parties that they are going along with it. They are trying their best to get me to do a honeymoon registry but no way! I don't feel the need to talk her out of or correct her etiquette. She is a grown woman not even 30! and she's not going to change her mind. She and I are not all that close to begin with so I would just alienate her and my other friends. I doubt that I will even be able to attend said wedding because by the time it happens next spring FI and I will be "expanding our franchise" if you will, so taking time off won't be an option. I'm so going to troll that weddingbee board now...

Hello+Panda

In Response to Re:Icing On The Cake:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Icing On The Cake:With five kids, she couldn't find something better to spend her money on?Posted by EllaYoungnbsp;Seriously!?nbsp; I have the same question as Ella. Posted by Marrin713[/QUOTE] Did I mention we both have tipping jobs?

annmarie714

In Response to Re:Icing On The Cake:
[QUOTE]With five kids, she couldn't find something better to spend her money on?
Posted by EllaYoung[/QUOTE]

Retirement, savings accounts, college funds, and paying off mortgages are just novelties.  Pshhh.

OP: If you send her here, tell her you were told about it by another bride but you haven't visited yet.  Your username doesn't appear to be too revealing in who you are so I think you could get away with it.  I feel like it would be extremely awkward to have a "wedding" after 10 years and 5 kids.  I just don't get it...seriously.  This whole thing just blows my mind.  I would be thoroughly embarrassed if I was her.  A vow renewal is a good idea, but a VR is not a PPD.

Hello+Panda

In Response to Re:Icing On The Cake:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Icing On The Cake : Retirement, savings accounts, college funds, and paying off mortgages are just novelties.  Pshhh. OP: If you send her here, tell her you were told about it by another bride but you haven't visited yet.  Your username doesn't appear to be too revealing in who you are so I think you could get away with it.  I feel like it would be extremely awkward to have a "wedding" after 10 years and 5 kids.  I just don't get it...seriously.  This whole thing just blows my mind.  I would be thoroughly embarrassed if I was her.  A vow renewal is a good idea, but a VR is not a PPD.
Posted by annmarie714[/QUOTE]

After a long talk about money and such, she has at least decided to axe the HR registry, the mansion, and the cash bar. Although I am still irritated by her thought process that she will recieve gifts because she is having a wedding, I told her that it would be more realistic that she would be given expierence gifts, like a nice dinner or a spa day because 10 years is reason to celebrate after all, just not in that manner. As far as the bill and who foots it, I had completely forgotten that she is an only child, so I can see the parents willingness to have a wedding.

mc4dj13

Pretty Princess Day?! Seriously? Some people cannot be blessed with what they have that they want MORE?