Early gifts/Thank you's?

FSS13

My shower is 3 weeks away and the wedding a little over a month away, and we have already started receiving gifts (which we haven't opened) and checks (which we haven't deposited).  The reason I wanted to wait is because our Thank You cards will feature a picture of us, on the wedding day in our formal attire, holding a "Thank You" sign... which means I can't send them out until after the honeymoon. Is it okay to wait to send thank you's for early gifts?? Or should I send two, one now and one later? I know that at least one of the gifts we received is from someone who cannot come to the wedding and would love to be sent a picture of us from that day. I don't want to cheat her out of that just because she sent her gift early....Help!

amaryann210

In Response to Early gifts/Thank you's?:
[QUOTE]My shower is 3 weeks away and the wedding a little over a month away, and we have already started receiving gifts (which we haven't opened) and checks (which we haven't deposited).  The reason I wanted to wait is because our Thank You cards will feature a picture of us, on the wedding day in our formal attire, holding a "Thank You" sign... which means I can't send them out until after the honeymoon. Is it okay to wait to send thank you's for early gifts?? Or should I send two, one now and one later? I know that at least one of the gifts we received is from someone who cannot come to the wedding and would love to be sent a picture of us from that day. I don't want to cheat her out of that just because she sent her gift early....Help!
Posted by FSS13[/QUOTE]

I think your idea for thank you notes is cute, but not necessarily practical for shower gifts.  How about having a different thank you note for shower gifts?  You will send more than one thank you note to the same person- shower gift and wedding gift- so it would be fine to have two different style cards. 

AJuliaNJ

If the gift is for the shower, I'd send them a thank you card you purchased for shower gifts. I would assume that they are coming to the wedding and will end up getting the photo one, too.

If the gift is from someone that is sending it for the wedding because they can't come, I think it's okay to call or e-mail them now telling them it arrived and thanking them, then following it up with the wedding picture thank you. It would also be okay to just send the thank you that was purchased for the shower. Aside from close family and friends, I don't think people will feel like they are missing out if they don't have the photo one.

Gisellerina

I've started receiving gifts in advance of my custom ordered Thank You notes too.  I've been sending an email acknowledgement and thank you (so they know I received the gift) and started a "gifts received list" so that I can send them my "real" thank you card once they are printed.  I'm hoping this is a polite thing to do - fortunately my thank you cards will be ready in the next week or two, so I'm not quite in the same situation as OP.

OP, you should definitely NOT hold off on depositing the checks - I think most people expect their checks to be cashed fairly soon after sending them and some people aren't so good about reconciling their bank statements and outstanding checks.

misshart00

I really think you need to go ahead and send tangible thank you notes now. You can pick up a cheap pack of notes from target. People notice when thank you notes take a long time and a wedding picture won't make up for that. Also, I hope you get those custom notes back from your photographer within a couple weeks after your wedding because tou should really have notes out within a month after the wedding. Most guests won't be pleased with a thank you note several months later just because you were waiting on custom cards. Deposit the checks now but don't use the money until after the wedding.

MayDay513

In Response to Early gifts/Thank you's?:
[QUOTE]My shower is 3 weeks away and the wedding a little over a month away, and we have already started receiving gifts (which we haven't opened) and checks (which we haven't deposited).  The reason I wanted to wait is because our Thank You cards will feature a picture of us, on the wedding day in our formal attire, holding a "Thank You" sign... which means I can't send them out until after the honeymoon. Is it okay to wait to send thank you's for early gifts?? Or should I send two, one now and one later? I know that at least one of the gifts we received is from someone who cannot come to the wedding and would love to be sent a picture of us from that day. I don't want to cheat her out of that just because she sent her gift early....Help!
Posted by FSS13[/QUOTE]

I've seen advice posted on other boards and post that say to open the gifts and make sure they aren't broken  (don't start using them) and to deposit the checks (just don't spend the money until after the wedding) so they don't hold up people's bank accounts.

stampadhesive

First, you need to deposit the checks now so you don't overdraw someone's account later.  Second, I think you need to send thank you notes as you receive them so that people know they made it to you.  An email is never okay, even as an acknowledgment.  If you must wait, call and thank them and chat to them for a few minutes.  And your shower thank you cards need to be sent before the wedding and are just from you (not the groom, because you were the one showered in gifts.)  And don't use your 'new' last name in a thank you card until after the wedding.

Gisellerina

So, since I have a similar situation - receiving gifts ahead of my thank you notes (also receiving the gifts in advance of my party invitations - totally unexpected!), I've been looking into this more.  The Emily Post wedding etiquette site states that "All thank you notes should be written within three months of the receipt of the gift".  So, since our thank you stationary will be ready this week, should I just send the thank you notes out this week-end for some additional gifts that came last week and not send any type of email acknowledgement that we received a package in the mail?  Someone earlier said an email acknowledgement is never okay, but I hate for people to be wondering if things made it in the mail.  Especially people I've never met (his friends).  I guess I'm overanalyzing and worrying about this too much since the problem will be resolved in a week or so and at worst I've been rude to only a few people (who I think will forgive me for sending an email acknowledgement in advance of a thank you).  But, I hate to be rude to people I've never met.  Particularly as he and his friends are older and are all on their second or third marriages.  So they probably do know the proper wedding etiquette.