Tricky Siutation

JadeZ322

My fiance and I have both been married before and would like to have a big wedding with everyone we want attending...but the reality is that we can't afford that.  Well, not without saving for several years and we just think it's stupid to wait that long.  So, we have been toying with the idea of getting married in a small ceremony at our church (we also live about 1000 miles from most of my family/friends) and whoever can come will be there.  We'd have a small reception in a restaurant and just hang out with everyone who is there.  Problem 1:  we had already asked friends/family to be in the wedding party back when planning the big wedding...so, how do we explain that we will be drastically cutting numbers to only 1 or 2 (from 6).  Problem 2:  several family and friends have already complained about travelling so far for the wedding (a second one, at that) and "jokingly" said there'd better be a good party to make it worth it.  I realize that I shouldn't care, but I hate disappointing people.  Honestly, the only thing keeping me from eloping to Vegas is that we want to get married at our Catholic Church (we've gotten all necessary paperwork, etc).  I want to just scream.  Marrying the person you love should not be this frustrating...

Thoughts?

Sue-n-Kevin

It's hard when budget reality takes over our plans. I think most brides on the Knot make tough decisions about both.

It is your wedding, and have the wedding you can afford. Other than a change in plans, you don't have to explain to your guests why you make one choice over another. A "good party" at the end of a wedding day should not be the reason people come. Close friends or family that you may have asked to be in the wedding party should understand more than anyone.

Your local board (see "local wedding boards" to the left, click on it then find your local board) should be valuable in helping you plan. They will know venues and caterers that may fit within your budget, but be specific when asking because "budget wedding" can be $10 for one person, and $100 for another.

Not sure how much you have, but having your wedding on a Friday night can save money, as can having it during "non-wedding season", ie November to March. You can cut out all the non-essentials like programs, favors, fancy invitations, and do a lot of DIY to save money. I made my centerpieces with flowers from Costco, bought my invitations from a sales table at Michaels and printed them at home...... there is a lot of ways to save money and still have a nice celebration.

Good luck. Looking forward to hearing all your plans.

MikesAngie

I agree with Sue, have the wedding you can afford.  

Don't worry about pleasing everyone, it's your wedding and if you want to get married in your church and keep it small do just that. You can explain that you initally thought the big wedding idea was great but then you researched the budget needed and decided to go a little smaller scale to save on costs.