Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum


So, basically, my cousin has admitted that she knows nothing about the tradition and, while she'd like to explore it, she doesn't have the time to pick out items. My mom and I would really like to do it for her, which kind of makes sense (both of her grandmothers are deceased and her parents are divorced. My mother, her father's sister, is her only aunt, and she is an only child, so my sister and I have a sisterly relationship with her). She's obsessed with surprises, too, so we thought it might be nice to give them to her the day before the wedding. I know that, normally, brides want to do it themselves, but my cousin basically says that she wants to do it but can't figure out when to sit down and do it, so I don't think it's too far out of line for us to provide her with the items (if it is, though, tell me now!).

We've figured out this much so far:
Old: necklace she's planning on wearing (a gift from our great-uncle, who was her father's Godfather)
New: she is getting earrings THAT DAY (which she picked out but hasn't tried on!) and will wear them for her wedding
Borrowed: some object of my mother's (because my mom is the only married woman in the immediate family)
Blue: she's having a lingerie shower, so we're getting her blue...undergarments for under her dress

Borrowed is the juggernaut. We thought we might be able to combine old and borrowed by lending her a necklace my grandmother wore at lent to all of us for various occasions (proms, sweet sixteen parties, etc.), but we think she's pretty set on the other necklace, which is fine. And she's wearing earrings. What can my mom give her?

Re: Old/New/Borrowed/Blue

  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment

    The only things I can think of are a brooch to pin to her bouquet or the underside of her skirt or a hairpin or comb for her hair.
    Maybe a bracelet?

  • It could be a ribbon from your mom's wedding that she can wrap around her boquet?
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • All good ideas. My mom was married twice, and the second wedding was only immediate family, so I'm not sure she really has anything from that wedding, but a brooch would probably work great! 
  • Does your cousin know that you're doing this for her?  Even if you keep the items a surprise, she still should know that you're doing it-otherwise she will just keep worrying about it for no reason.  I think it's really sweet that you're putting this together!

    I like what PPs have suggested for the "borrowed"!  That's the one I'm still struggling with, so I got some good ideas from it too!

    The only other thing I would caution you on is the blue lingerie for under the gown.  It's a really cute idea (especially with the lingerie shower), but generally, under-the-dress essentials should be as comfortable as possible (and that doesn't typically mean sexy lingerie).  Not only that, certain types of lingerie (or even "regular" undergarments) can look very bad with some dresses or specific fabrics.  Depending on what her dress is like, it might not be an issue.  But I'd still approach it with caution.  For me, I will have picked out my undergarments a lot sooner than the day before, and will already have a specific plan for what I'm wearing. Depending on how soon the wedding is, she might already have these items because they'll be needed for proper alterations and such.  But you know your cousin better than I do though. If you decide to do the lingerie, I would give it to her way in advance so she can plan accordingly.

    I hope this was helpful!  Good luck!
  • A fancy purse, a piece of jewelry or a handkerchief.
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