Let me start with some background so you understand where I'm coming from: I have lots of kids in my immediate family. Nine nieces and nephews--and all of them under 12 years old. My hubbie-to-be does not have any children, nieces, nephews, or godchildren. Neither do most of his groomsmen. One guy has a 13 year old son, but that's it.
So, considering our lineup, I thought it made sense that 100% of the flower girls and ring boys came from my family. BZZZZT!, Wrong. The fiance is now saying that "people" will be offended if we don't also include kids from his side of the family. "Um, ok, who?" I asked. He gave me the names of a cousin or two with little kids, and one random friend I met once, and whose kids I have never met.
I need to stress--the PARENTS of these kids are not in the wedding party. My fiance is even a little hazy with the kids' names, and I doubt he could tell you how old they are or when their birthdays are.
Including them in the wedding party would mean they, and their parents, would obviously need to attend the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, buy the outfit, pose for photos, be introduced at the reception, etc. Practically speaking, it makes sense to stick to the kids in my family. Why "outsource" these roles when we have plenty of kiddos in my family alone?
Am I breaking a rule by saying no? Is it important that the kid selection be distributed equally among the two families? If he had kids he was close to, of course we'd include them. But to dig up random kids from his guest list, just for the sake of even distribution, makes no sense to me.