HEARTBROKEN BRIDE: ENGAGED & I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES!!!!

MrsHarris0514

WE GOT ENGAGED MARCH 30. SO HAPPY TO HAVE BEEN FOUND BY A REAL MAN WHO REALLY LOVE MY DAUGHTER AND MYSELF!!! YET IN MY EXCITEMENT MY FAMILY IS SO SIMPLY PUT THEY DONT CARE. I DONT TALK ABOUT THE WEDDING AT ALL LOOK AT VENUES TALK ABOUT THE MENU FLOWERS NOTHING AT ALL. I WAS WATCHING TLC'S BRIDAL FRIDAY (SAY YES TO THE DRESS, I FOUND THE GOWN, 4 WEDDINGS, ETC) & MY MAMA SAYS THAT ALL THESE BRIDAL SHOW MAKES MY HEAD HURT!!! I WAS DEVASTATED!!! ISN'T YOUR MOM AND FAMILY FOR TH MATTER SUPPOSE TO BE HAPPY WITH YOU? SHE TOLD ME THAT I SHOULD KEEP THE ENGAGEMENT A SECRET JUST LIKE KEEPING YPUR PREGNANCY A SECRET FOR AN EXAMPLE. YALL IM SO HEARTBROKEN AND DEPRESSED!!!! NO ONE TO TALK WITH NO ONE WILLING TO LISTEN NO SUPPORT
I JUST WANTO ELOPE OR GO TO THE COUTHOUSE AND GET IT OVER AND DONE AND MOVE AWAY AND NEVER RETURN!!!!
ISNT A WOMAN'S ENGAGEMENT SUPPOSE TO BE A HAPPY OCCASSION?

HisGirlFriday13

First of all -- don't type in all caps. It looks like you're shouting and makes it hard for people to read.

Second of all -- it would be nice if people were excited about your wedding, yes, but no one is required to be. And no one will be as excited about this as you and your fiance will be. That sounds harsh, and I don't mean it to, but it's just a reality. Aside from asking if there will be booze, FI's father hasn't asked one question about our wedding. 

Just focus on how wonderful your fiance is, how happy you are together, and how wonderful your new life will be! Also, the upside to this is that you won't have to deal with conflicting opinions from your mother, his mother, etc. There are brides on these boards who would gladly trade places with you. 

Happy planning!!

annmarie714

Chill.  She made a comment about a wedding show on television.  She didn't put down your wedding and she was probably sick of watching the horrible shows that TLC puts together these days.  I don't blame her.

If I missed anything in your OP, it's probably because of all the capital letters and lack of formatting.

So she said she didn't think you'd get married--you are.  It doesn't mean she thought you SHOULDN'T get married, just that she didn't think you would.  Some people spend their entire lives single/committed to life partners without the legality of marriage.  Talk to her.  I know, it's a novel idea but she can't read your mind so she doesn't know how you're feeling.  After this talk, don't expect her to be all cheery about your wedding.  No one really cares much about other's weddings nearly as much as the bride/groom does.  If you want her help on something specific, ask her but don't demand it.  This would be a favor from her, it's not her job to plan your wedding.  You're old enough to get married, you're old enough to plan a wedding or going to the courthouse and getting married.  Both are weddings, both are 100% legitimate and legal and count as getting married.

annmarie714

Put "XP" int he title if you're posting the same thing on multiple boards.

thejucheidea

AllieBear725

Being engaged is really about you and your FI. I wouldn't worry about your family, as long as you're happy, that's all that matters. 

Congrats! 

qnashley90

Honestly, the all caps was harsh on the eyes but all of the unnecessary grammar nazi's can chill out too. 

Girl, I feel for your situation.  The first words out of my best friend's mouth when I got engaged was "Every time you call me we better not talk about the wedding planning."  While I agree the excitement will primarily be between the two getting married.  We, as newly engaged people, want our friends and family to be giddy with us for at least a bit of the way.  So when people act (in my opinion) slightly selfish and say mean things like that it really puts a damper on the whole milestone.  In my opinion, they should be happy and excited without question because that is how I plan to be toward them.  It is a matter of taking a step back and truly being happy for someone else. 

I am sorry your mother doesn't appear to be as excited as you.  Hang in there!

fjkantner

I get where you are coming from!  When I told my grandma that my fiance asked me to marry him she said, " and you said no?"  We have gotten engagement cards from my friends and his family, but barely any communication from mine.  My youngest brother didn't even know I was engaged until like 3 weeks later.  I finally called my mom and told her that I felt like nobody cared that I was getting married and it really hurt my feelings because I am really excited.  I think she must have spread the word because yesterday my step father texted me and told me he thought it was great and today my grandma called to offer a little financial help.  It is disappointing that they are not sharing my excitement or reacting the way I would like, but I cannot control that and it is going to be a great wedding anyway!

MrsHarris0514

http://us-mg6.mail.yahoo.com/neo/launch?.rand=acrt5g6eoa6i3

AllieBear725

Your link..... ummm.... It's not working. Not sure if you were posting a picture or something. 

pesematology

I'll recommend the same book I always do for people who have issues (or any feelings at all, really) about how their upcoming wedding is affecting their lives: The Conscious Bride is a great little book, and the Conscious Bride Planner that goes with it seems like it would be especially useful to someone like the OP who is experiencing a gap between her expectations and the reactions of her family and friends. I find that using the planner helps me to experience my excitement in a calm way that doesn't require other people to mirror it back at me.