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another awkward gift scenario

AJuliaNJAJuliaNJ member
First Anniversary Combo Breaker 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I know you ladies will have a great answer for me! 

At my shower, an important colleague of my FI gave me her wedding shoes. We had no prior conversations about wedding shoes and I actually already purchased shoes so I'm not sure why. She said she thinks everyone should have at least 2 pairs of shoes for their wedding in case they get uncomfortable. I opened these shoes and there's no way I would take off my wedding shoes and put these on. I don't think they'd be more comfortable and I just like the ones I have a lot better. Also, she already wore them and since they are white they have some stains. They are Dyeables in white.

Should I find some period of time at the wedding to wear them? Should I give them back to her? I'm at a loss.
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Re: another awkward gift scenario

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    annmarie714annmarie714 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited April 2013
    In Response to Re: another awkward gift scenario:
    [QUOTE]I really don't understand some people. It's not like this was your great grandmother and these were sentimental to you.
    Posted by misshart00[/QUOTE]

    Right?  Here are some sweaty, worn shoes from a co-worker! Wear them on your wedding day! WOO.
    Where there is love, there is life.-Ghandi
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    tiny specktiny speck member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    Eew, that is so weird.
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    efmcc67efmcc67 member
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    Bizarre. Who gives a co-worker's fiancee your old, stained shoes? Agree with PPs and just say they didn't fit. Shoes are so personal; it's not like every shoe in your size will fit comfortably, and these aren't even in your size!
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    AJuliaNJAJuliaNJ member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to Re:another awkward gift scenario:[QUOTE]I really don't understand some people. It's not like this was your great grandmother and these were sentimental to you. Posted by misshart00[/QUOTE] Right? Or that they were some custom Louboutins that she just couldn't bear to have sit in a closet for the rest of eternity? I thought it might be something like that when she first brought it up when she arrived.
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    wittykitty14wittykitty14 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    That's not only incredibly strange, but gross.  I'm really picky about who borrows my shoes or asking to borrow someone elses's.  The only person who I have this type of shoe relationship with is my mom.  I won't wear anyone else's shoes, it's just odd.

    Just come up with a nice way to thank her, tell her they don't fit you quite right, and give them back.  Telling her they don't fit will be less awkward than saying they're uncomfortable-that might hurt her feelings a bit, I suppose.  Even if you're sizes are close or the same, everyone's feet are different.  What a weird gift!
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    AJuliaNJAJuliaNJ member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Thanks all. I was just sitting here and thinking about this again, and I'm considering putting them on at some point later in the night. I am trying to look at it from her POV. I think I'd end up feeling embarrassed if I gave someone a personal gift like this and they didn't use it. I'm sure I can figure out something where I put them on, dance past her table, and then take them off. I usually end up ditching shoes entirely at some point after walking around/dancing in heels so maybe I can do that as I am approaching that point. I will definitely give them back to her after the wedding because she has a daughter. I can say I know her daughter would want to have the opportunity to wear them.
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    saric83saric83 member
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    Instead of wearing them, maybe just wait to give them back to her until after the wedding is done and just tell her that you really appreciated the thought, but that your shoes ended up being comfortable enough to wear all night.  Then you don't need to try to show her that you wore them, yet you can give her the impression that you appreciated her really weird but good intentions. 
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    MuppetFanMuppetFan member
    5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to Re: another awkward gift scenario:
    [QUOTE]Thanks all. I was just sitting here and thinking about this again, and I'm considering putting them on at some point later in the night. I am trying to look at it from her POV. I think I'd end up feeling embarrassed if I gave someone a personal gift like this and they didn't use it. I'm sure I can figure out something where I put them on, dance past her table, and then take them off. I usually end up ditching shoes entirely at some point after walking around/dancing in heels so maybe I can do that as I am approaching that point. I will definitely give them back to her after the wedding because she has a daughter. I can say I know her daughter would want to have the opportunity to wear them.
    Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]

    That's way too complicated, although thoughtful. Saric's idea is good too if you don't want to refuse them immediately. You can also say that they got left behind, or were the wrong size, or you forgot about them during the commotion of the big day...

    I wouldn't go out of your way to put them on for her sake
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