Corsage etiquette??

hacked

I am the mother of the groom, and I know that we are to pay for the mother's corsages, grandmother's corsages and the bride's bouquet.  The bride, of course, selected her bouquet and I paid for it, but what about the corsages?   They had selected the corsage colors and the flower types that they wanted, but I was hoping for something a little less fragrant in a little softer color for my corsage.  I also decided to add a corsage for another family member and I paid for everything at the same time. I changed the flower type from white gardenias to white orchids and changed the ribbon color to a softer version of the color they had selected.

The next day the florist called me and asked permission to refund my credit card for the original charge and resubmit it for the less expensive gardenia corsage and to remove the additional orchid corsage I had ordered.  I guess the MOB decided to only order corsages for wedding party members, and since my sister is not a member of the WP, she can't wear flowers (which I am paying for).  It would not be fair to the MOB's and FOB's siblings, since they decided not to order flowers for them.

Do I order my 2 corsages from a different florist, in my choice of flowers and colors, and pay for their flowers and not mention that I got my flowers elsewhere?  They would probably not know until the flowers were delivered and my corsage is missing.  I paid for the MOB's corsage, 3 grandmother's corsages and 3 great grandmother's corsages and the bride's bouquet.  The third grandmother's corsage is for "Nana".  I asked the florist who Nana was, and she said the MOB said she was a dear old family friend and to make her a grandmother's corsage.

Suggestions?  Do I just suck it up and wear the gardenia and sniff all evening?  Do I sneak my sister's corsage in when no one is looking?

hacked

My sister is making the bride's veil, ringbearer's pillow, guest book and now the flower girl's dress and is staying in the room with the bride to adjust her dress and veil before she walks down the aisle. She will do this so everyone else can see the bride walk down the aisle.  She would really rather sit with us, but agreed to stay behind. She is donating all the materials and her time, and is actually making the lace for the veil.  She is also the only family member who has been in my son's life since his birth.  She is much older (20 years) than I am and she was like a grandmother to him.  Everyone else died young or lives far away.  

The florist has been asked to let the MOB know that we paid, and the florist wanted to know if I was going to do as asked.  This makes me think the MOB wants to know if I kept to the gardenias and ribbon color.  We have already had an issue with them requesting all out of town guests be invited to the RD.  This would have made the RD guest list 125.  They are now upset that we stood our ground and suggested they host a dinner for their guests and we would have a dinner for the wedding party, and not entertain her entire family.  Wedding guest list is 250 people.  At this point we have 21 slots, and that includes my sister, myself and husband, our son, a couple of aunts and uncles and their spouses and a cousin or two and spouses.  The other slots will be our son's WP members and their spouses or SO's.  Actually, we are over by one person, but my son said he thought one of the groomsmen would not be bringing a date.

hacked

In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette??:
[QUOTE]I'm not sure what to say. It isn't your responsibility to pay for anyone's flowers (did someone tell you to do this?). You certainly are welcome to buy your sister a corsage if you wish, but it does seem strange if none of the other aunts and uncles will have them. I realize that you are not prohibiting any of the others from wearing flowers, but honestly I wouldn't even think to get them for aunts and uncles, so I think this will come off like you made a special arrangement for your family and no for theirs. If you want to change your flower because of fragrance/allergies, I would either ask the florist for an artificial gardenia or tell her that you need another variety of flower and pass the info on to the bride and MOB so they are aware (and don't think the florist made a mistake).
Posted by daveANDkristen[/QUOTE]

That is what concerns me.

My sister is like my mother, and helped raise me.  She is very close to my son, and helped me with him when he was a baby and my husband traveled a lot.  

The MOB got the "who pays for what" from this website.  I checked, and it does suggest that.  She takes suggested as though they are etched in stone.  

When I got married, is was customary to have family friends serve the cake, and my mother got corsages for aunts, cousins who helped with the guest book, all the family friends who helped, the vocalist, pianist, etc. My husband's family paid for the mother's corsages and my bouquet.  I recently found the bill.  They were $6 each and my bouquet was $38.  That was mumblemumble years ago.

Yes, the MOB is overbearing and the bride has cried on my sofa twice.  

misshart00

I agree with PP about asking the florist not to discuss your order with anyone else. That's ridiculous. She also can't tell you what to pay for, evn with the list. I think you should just tart refusing to pay for stuff. The bride really needs to tell her mom to back off.

hacked

In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette??:
[QUOTE]I agree with PP about asking the florist not to discuss your order with anyone else. That's ridiculous. She also can't tell you what to pay for, evn with the list. I think you should just tart refusing to pay for stuff. The bride really needs to tell her mom to back off.
Posted by misshart00[/QUOTE]

I supposed that if the bride's family placed an order, and I did not go in and pay for it, it does become the florist's business.  She needs to make sure the order gets paid for.  I am sure the MOB will ask her.  The florist has to order enough flowers.  It does seem odd- the bride selects the bouquet, but no mention is made about budget, and the person paying has no imput at all in what it looks like.  It does seem like an odd tradition.  How does that work?  When I got married, I think the florist told us who paid for what.

Ella and Pedro

In Response to Corsage etiquette??:
[QUOTE]I am the mother of the groom, and I know that we are to pay for the mother's corsages, grandmother's corsages and the bride's bouquet.  The bride, of course, selected her bouquet and I paid for it, but what about the corsages?   They had selected the corsage colors and the flower types that they wanted, but I was hoping for something a little less fragrant in a little softer color for my corsage.  I also decided to add a corsage for another family member and I paid for everything at the same time. I changed the flower type from white gardenias to white orchids and changed the ribbon color to a softer version of the color they had selected. The next day the florist called me and asked permission to refund my credit card for the original charge and resubmit it for the less expensive gardenia corsage and to remove the additional orchid corsage I had ordered.  I guess the MOB decided to only order corsages for wedding party members, and since my sister is not a member of the WP, she can't wear flowers (which I am paying for).  It would not be fair to the MOB's and FOB's siblings, since they decided not to order flowers for them . Do I order my 2 corsages from a different florist, in my choice of flowers and colors, and pay for their flowers and not mention that I got my flowers elsewhere?  They would probably not know until the flowers were delivered and my corsage is missing.  I paid for the MOB's corsage, 3 grandmother's corsages and 3 great grandmother's corsages and the bride's bouquet.  The third grandmother's corsage is for "Nana".  I asked the florist who Nana was, and she said the MOB said she was a dear old family friend and to make her a grandmother's corsage. Suggestions?  Do I just suck it up and wear the gardenia and sniff all evening?  Do I sneak my sister's corsage in when no one is looking?
Posted by hacked[/QUOTE]

*hug*

Hey.  I know she's using "The Knot" as her guide to this wedding, but you should know that many times, what TK says is not what ends up happening.  In the case of my fiance and his family, they are generously funding the bar/beverages of our reception, and the rehearsal dinner.  My parents, on the other hand, are not even remotely providing what TK or etiquette 'traditionally' dictates the MOB and FOB indicate.  My dad is providing us $2,000 which is for whatever we please (we're using it for florals) and my mom (who is on a very fixed income) has paid for most of my wedding dress. Otherwise, my fiance and I are taking care of the expenses. 

Also, I should add, the florals we selected are rather elaborate, but we planned that and as we are mainly funding them, that was for us to say.  If we had been told by my fiance's family they were providing florals, we would have established a budget before meeting with the florists.  That's what I believe is courteous.  In my case the bouquet is going to be massive, and eleborate, and will have many high-end flowers - so I'd feel rather presumptive just presenting a $300 bill to my FMIL or FFIL and FSMIL (step mother in law) for such an item. But that's me.  This lady sounds like a real....item.  Seems her daughter is somewhat redeemable. Good thing. I truly wish you all the best.

MoonlightSilver

I think you can talk to the bride and groom about the choice of flowers for your and your sister's corsage. It might look strange for you and her to wear a different flower, but if the gardinia is going to be causing you serious problems, the bride should agree to the change. 

If you're paying for flowers and MOB isn't, then ask the florist to please not discuss your order with anyone except you (and the bride). 

From now on, if you're paying for something for the wedding, give the bride and groom your budget. It's okay to say, "I'll pay for your bouquet, but I can only pay $30 for it." 

kmmssg

In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette??:
[QUOTE]You don't have to pay.  If you want to that is fine.  I think getting an extra corsage makes it look like YOU are trying to levitate the status of your sister.  If your sister does not want to help the bride get ready, she shouldn't.  The MOB can not stop you from buying more corsages, but I think you are making a mistake.
Posted by NYUgirl100[/QUOTE]

I disagree that mob is trying to elevate the status of her sister.  The woman is, "My sister is making the bride's veil, ringbearer's pillow, guest book and now the flower girl's dress and is staying in the room with the bride to adjust her dress and veil before she walks down the aisle. She will do this so everyone else can see the bride walk down the aisle.  She would really rather sit with us, but agreed to stay behind. She is donating all the materials and her time, and is actually making the lace for the veil."    

The sister is doing a lot here for the bride and I see no reason that shouldn't be recognized with a corsage.

Seems that the only person who has an issue with sister getting a corsage is MOB - and she has been a problem for quite some time as I recall.  Wasn't she upset that you "overrode her wishes" to invite some 120 OOT guests to the RD YOU are hosting?

OP - the first thing you need to do is call the florist and tell them you are the customer, you are paying, and they are not to be discussing your order with anyone without your permission.  That shouldn't even be an issue here.  I would take them to task for this.

Don't have a gardenia if you don't want one, and absolutely get your sister a corsage.  MOB can take a hike.  If MOB wants a gardenia, it would be nice to get that for her.

Did you change out the gardenias for orchids for everyone based on your personal preference?  I would far more adore a gardenia than an orchid but it would probably drive my DH nuts because fragrance makes him nautious.  

As for the rest of the flowers - make sure they are what the bride and groom want, make sure the ribbon color is what they want and be done.  Again, make it crystal clear to the florist that they are not to discuss your business transactions with anyone.

kmmssg

In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette??:
[QUOTE]120 friends of MOG at RD?  I agree, as host MOG has right to do this, but if I were bride, I might tell groom, lets just do pizza and just have WP. 
Posted by NYUgirl100[/QUOTE]

Yep, MOG wanted 120 OOT guests invited to wedding, but groom is getting less than 50 slots on the 250 person guest list.  MOG has been a nightmare.

lyndausvi

Who are these people?  I mean who gives a crap if the MOG is wearing a orchard instead of a gardenia?  Especially when there appears to be sensitivity to the fragrance?  Even the ribbon color should not matter.   It's a flower on a wrist, it's about as important at what color her shoes are.   

 And who picks out flowers and changes orders that someone else is paying for?  Really?  I would be pissed.

I also think your sister should get a corsage for all she is doing.  She seems to be as important as Nana.  However, I think you should have talked to your son and FDIL first.   Just like they should have talked to you about adding Nana a corsage. They fact the removed some flowers is irrelevant.

I would call the florist that under no uncertain terms are there to be any changes to the order without going through you first.  Period.    I would also have a talk with your son.   It's BS that they expect you to pay yet have no say.

FWIW - when my sister got married her ILs paid for the flowers. My parents had zero say, nor did they want to have a say.   It was the ILs money and they had the control (with of course respecting my sister's opinion).  Now because they are resonable people they asked my mom if she had any allergies or preferred a specific flower.      

jessicabessica

Have you talked to your son and his fiancee about all this?  Explain that your sister has been so close to you and your son, you think it is nice to honor her with a corsage as you are getting for the bride's grandmothers and the one family friend.  As for your corsage, just tell them you will be having a different flower because of allergies, but you will talk to the florist about making sure it looks similar.  

You are paying for the corsages, and while it's nice of you to take their preferences into account and it's generous of you to pay for so many of them, you make the final decision.  I would instruct the florist not to accept changes to the order from anyone but you.  If MOB wants something else now, she can ask you directly and you can agree or disagree with her suggestion.  

Also, while it may be traditional for the groom's parents to pay for the flowers, it's really no one's responsibility but the couple's to pay for their wedding.  

kmmssg

No.  MOB approached MOG when MOG planned the RD and said she wanted her 120 OOT guests invited to the RD.  MOG said no, that was far out of the budget and they kept it to the more traditional wedding party and immediate family.  No one is being invited to RD that isn't invited to wedding.

My point was MOB wanted 120 of her guests invited to the RD but is only allowing groom to invite less than 50 to the wedding she is paying for.

kmmssg

NYU - I don't know what your deal is this morning other than you want to argue.  MOG is HOSTING the RD, MOG said wedding party, their dates, and immediate family.  MOB said - oh, but you need to invite my 120 guests to your RD.  This is all from another thread.  I'm done.

Peledreamsofrain

Holy guacamole, what a mess over some corsages.  The bride and the groom are playing an unacceptably passive role in all of this.  This is their wedding, and YOU should not dealing with budgeting issues, communicating with a cow of a MOB, and trying to plan with the florist.  

If they are adult enough to get married, they are adult enough to step up and handle all of this.  They ask you: "What is your budget, so that we do not overstep on this lovely gift you are offering us?".  Then, they consult with you on their order, at which point you would point out allergy concerns.  Then, they change the order, run it by you to make sure it's still budget ok, then let you pay. 

They never, at any point, should just dump it all in your lap, wander away, and shoo an angry storm of a nasty demanding woman at you.  That is irresponsible and impolite in the extreme.  

hacked

I think the MOB is going to wear a bulldozer costume to the wedding. This is kind of like the roadrunner and the coyote cartoon.   I think she is very controlling, and the bride seems to know that arguments with her mother go nowhere.  The bride is very sweet and quiet with a soft voice.  She is a personal trainer, is working on a masters.  She is flip-flops, plain cotton dresses, pastels and pony tails.  The MOB is large jewelry, loud colors, brassy dyed hair and had a loud voice.  FOB is a check grabber and always has a friend who can "get it for you a lot cheaper".  They seem to be from two different worlds.  I see the bride taking the path of least resistance.  My son knows she may want something other than what her mother insists on, but the arguments have gotten out of hand, and she finally gives in.  I see a troubling family dynamic there.  

I had no idea about the flowers until I got a card from the florist, pre-printed, that said that the family of the bride had selected the flowers, and my portion was $.  I did not know about cards like that.  I expected a call from my son asking my budget, since I had asked him about it.  The MOB had given me a list of who pays for what, and I expected that I would be contacted when they got to the flower portion of their planning, after they looked at ideas and had some estimates.  They went to a florist and selected everything, and then they sent me a notice.  I was prepared to pay whatever the bride wanted for her bouquet.  

The florist, whom I just spoke to, says that the bride's family are her clients, and I am just paying for, but not ordering, some of the flowers.  She is reticent to take changes from me, since I did not place the original order.  I think she is scared of the MOB.  Now, I will say that I did not expect to get to select the bride's bouquet, since she will carry that and I am sure she has specific ideas what she would like.  I thought that changing the flower from gardenias to orchids would be keeping the flowers in the same higher end class of flower, and I was keeping the flowers in the same color, and that aside from a few family pictures, who would really notice or care?  After all, this is just a change for my corsage.  I left the MOB and other grandmothers and "Nana's" corsages all the same.

Yes, this is the MOB of told us, after we asked to host a RD, that she wanted all OOT family and friends on her side to come to the RD.  We had already agreed to host it, and it became a huge problem.  She also wanted it at the same venue as the reception, and the cost was over $10,000, plus bar.  The solution is that we are having the RD for just the WP, clergy, SO's, etc.  We are having a friend who is a caterer do it, and the bride's family is hosting a dinner for their family and friends at the venue.  This has put us an the position of being the "bad guys", in their eyes, and from this point on, it seems there are going to be problems.

About my sister- she is 20 years older than I am, and helped raise me when our mother died very young.  She helped me raise my son when my husband traveled.  She is just as much a grandmother as my son has ever had, and he is very close to her.  There are no other grandmothers on our side, or other siblings.  Son is only child.  She is doing a ton of work for the bride's family, and doing it because she truly loves the couple.  The bride has never mentioned Nana, and I guess she was important to the bride's mother, but the bride barely knows her.  This is a true case of the bride's parents paying for everything and thinking that the B & G have no say in anything.

To me, it is about a lot more than just the wedding.  Someone told me that when a couple fights about the husband's socks on the floor, the fight is nothing about the socks, but about a whole lot of something else.  I feel as though I am being sucked into something I can't control or get out of, and since it is my son's wedding, I don't want to alienate myself.  

hacked

In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette??:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette?? : Yep, MOG wanted 120 OOT guests invited to wedding, but groom is getting less than 50 slots on the 250 person guest list.  MOG has been a nightmare.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

I am the MOG, and we agreed to host a RD for the WP.  The MOB wants 120 OOT friends to come and for us to pay for them, using the wedding venue.  The guest list for the wedding is 250, and we have 21 slots for our friends, family and the groomsmen and their dates and spouses.

hacked

In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette??:
[QUOTE]kmm, then OP should have just said only WP and parents invited to RD. 
Posted by NYUgirl100[/QUOTE]

We did.  I had told the MOB that we would like to host a RD for the wedding party.  I made the mistake of asking for the name of the clergy, and that is when I was presented with The List. We were also presented with a list of catering charges at wedding venue and a list of 120 people for me to send invites to. 

She later showed me something from this site that it might be nice to include OOT in RD.  WHo would have thought there would be so many?

hacked

In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette??:
[QUOTE]OP, don't suppose a little charm could be added to the MOB's corsage to remind her what a cow she's been?
Posted by Harry87[/QUOTE]

I like this idea.

32daisies

OP, you seem very gracious to me, and I'm sorry that you're getting such hassle when you're just trying to do what you can to make this wedding lovely. Heaven forbid you have a few conditions, or requests, apparently! I think you've been quite accomodating, for whatever it's worth.

I don't have an answer about the florist per se, but I can't help but echo what a PP said: the bride and groom seem almost nonexistant in this process, and it's their wedding, isn't it? Why aren't they more involved in this planning?

hacked

In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette??:
[QUOTE]OP, you seem very gracious to me, and I'm sorry that you're getting such hassle when you're just trying to do what you can to make this wedding lovely. Heaven forbid you have a few conditions, or requests, apparently! I think you've been quite accomodating, for whatever it's worth. I don't have an answer about the florist per se, but I can't help but echo what a PP said: the bride and groom seem almost nonexistant in this process, and it's their wedding, isn't it? Why aren't they more involved in this planning?
Posted by 32daisies[/QUOTE]

I think the mother is just too much of a force to be reckoned with.  My son said she either does a silent treatment or screams and yells.  FOB gives her whatever she wants, and both expect the kids (bride has a brother) to do the same.  The bride graduated early from high school and went to college across the country to get away from her.  Bride has expressed a desire to elope, and at this point, I would encourage the same (but will not say that to anyone).  B & G have tried, and MOB once banned my son from her home when he was to go over and bring his guest list and show her the menu for the RD.  

As I said earlier, this is a seriously flawed family dynamic.  I am not the type who forces my will on that of others, and will flex to accommodate others, but draw the line at being a doormat.  It took me a while to learn that, and I think my son has yet to run into many people who do that, and does not have a plan in place for dealing with people like that, but he is learning it very fast.  Bride has spent a lifetime doing it, and seems to have given up.  She acts as though she just wants to get through it.  

They are young, and will have to learn to deal with all types.  I think they will learn a lot from all this, and it will be a good life lesson.

OliveOilsMom

I would just pay for the bride's bouquet with the florist and go to someone else entirely.  How dare she tell you that she works for the MOB.  She needs to know that she works for who is paying and for certain things, thats you.

I would be inclined to call the MOB and tell her that your money to pay for certain things comes with strings and that if she cannot accept the floral changes you request, you simply won't be paying for them.

Peledreamsofrain

In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette??:
[QUOTE]This site is not the final authority.  And saying it is "nice" to invite OOTs to RD does not mean it is required. 
Posted by NYUgirl100[/QUOTE]

It's not 'required' to thank a person who opens a door for you, but it's 'nice' to do it anyway.  It's called etiquette NYU.  It's never a set of rules that are absolutely required for all carbon based life-forms to function.  IT'S HOW PEOPLE ARE NICE TO EACH OTHER.  I want to freakin shake you.  You fundamentally misunderstand etiquette, like it's a badge of honor.

lyndausvi

In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette??:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette?? : I am the MOG, and we agreed to host a RD for the WP.  The MOB wants 120 OOT friends to come and for us to pay for them, using the wedding venue.  The guest list for the wedding is 250, and we have 21 slots for our friends, family and the groomsmen and their dates and spouses.
Posted by hacked[/QUOTE]

I'm fairly sure kmm knows you are the MOG and meant to put MOB. 

 Funny when I read her post I didn't catch she said MOG.  I knew the backstory and read it as MOB not you.

Anyway, I would remove my credit card right from the florist.  Sorry there is no way in hell let that lady have unlimited access to order whatever she wants with  ZERO input from you.  Sorry, no.

ladyamanuet

This is insane. I am so sorry for the position you are being put in! She sounds like one of those parents who think the wedding is for them and not their child, which is a shame. I bet most of those 120 OOT guests the bride barely knows and the mother just wants them there to show off?

It sounds like your sister is in the same category as "Nana" so I def think she should get a flower.  Explain this to the bride and your son and get their OK (which I imagine they will give, I hope). Then take your business to another florist. This florist does not deserve a penny of your money. If it weren't such a huge PIA logistics wise, I would suggest you have the bride's bouquet made elsewhere as well since you are paying for that too. (That is obviously not a viable option though). And PLEASE follow the advice of PPs and post reviews of this florist on as many sites as possible - I would not want a vendor who behaves in such a manner and rely on reviews to make that decision.

Is there anyone else on your side of the family getting a corsage besides you and your sister? Maybe you could get the grandmother(s) on your side the same one - then all family members are wearing the same corsage type?? (Honestly don't know if that's bad eitquette or a bad suggestion - just a thought I had to have the flower change "blend" more... if it's a bad suggestion, sorry knotties!)

Good luck!  I hope you can inject a little spunk into your FDIL and help her enjoy her wedding instead of "just wanting to get through it" since her mother is so awful

Is there a hope that since she is getting her information from this site she might see this post and how everyone here thinks she is being unreasonable?

hacked

In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette??:
[QUOTE]This is insane. I am so sorry for the position you are being put in! She sounds like one of those parents who think the wedding is for them and not their child, which is a shame. I bet most of those 120 OOT guests the bride barely knows and the mother just wants them there to show off? It sounds like your sister is in the same category as "Nana" so I def think she should get a flower.  Explain this to the bride and your son and get their OK (which I imagine they will give, I hope). Then take your business to another florist. This florist does not deserve a penny of your money. If it weren't such a huge PIA logistics wise, I would suggest you have the bride's bouquet made elsewhere as well since you are paying for that too. (That is obviously not a viable option though). And PLEASE follow the advice of PPs and post reviews of this florist on as many sites as possible - I would not want a vendor who behaves in such a manner and rely on reviews to make that decision. Is there anyone else on your side of the family getting a corsage besides you and your sister? Maybe you could get the grandmother(s) on your side the same one - then all family members are wearing the same corsage type?? (Honestly don't know if that's bad eitquette or a bad suggestion - just a thought I had to have the flower change "blend" more... if it's a bad suggestion, sorry knotties!) Good luck!  I hope you can inject a little spunk into your FDIL and help her enjoy her wedding instead of "just wanting to get through it" since her mother is so awful Is there a hope that since she is getting her information from this site she might see this post and how everyone here thinks she is being unreasonable?
Posted by ladyamanuet[/QUOTE]

Does this forum not have a multi-reply function?  It would be nice if it did.

We do not have anyone else besides my sister and myself on my side, other than my husband.  There are 1 aunt, 1 uncle, 2 cousins, that is it, and they are not close relatives.  My family has a genetic condition that has just been identified and all remaining family members are being treated.  The last person in the family to die from it was at age 30, three years ago.

The bride loves my sister- I think she is like the mother the bride wants.  She is one of those "old souls" who always has the perfect answer and makes you feel warm and fuzzy with her words.  I would ask her about all this, but she is doing a lot for the wedding, and the B & G really, really appreciate it.  I do not want to bring another person into this nightmare.

I called the bride and she and I went to the florist and cancelled her bouquet, my sister's corsage and my corsage.   We went to another vendor and ordered a bouquet, exactly like the one she had from the first vendor.  She offered a lovely wide antique silk ribbon for the bride's bouquet that the bride loved.  I had expected to pay whatever the bride wanted, since this was one thing I knew she was really excited about it.  I have not priced flowers and all, and I was expecting the bill would be about $500, since I had no idea and thought I should think big.  It was actually much less at the new vendor, and I know the ribbon was pricey.  

As for what happens when the MOB finds out- well, I am glad I will not be there for that discussion.  

Also, the MOB wanted all corsages to be shoulder types, and I thought a wristlet would look nice, or one I could pin on my bag.  I ordered one to pin on my bag.  I would rather not have a bag, but both my husband and I need medication, so I need a bag.  

Thank you, all of you, for your input.  I always thought weddings were celebrations, not a way for one person to intimidate, mow over, insult, frustrate, etc. another person, especially one you don't know.  I would hope the B & G would decide on a family one day, and a new child should be surrounded by love, not tension and stress.  

32daisies

In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette??:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette?? : I think the mother is just too much of a force to be reckoned with.  My son said she either does a silent treatment or screams and yells.  FOB gives her whatever she wants, and both expect the kids (bride has a brother) to do the same.  The bride graduated early from high school and went to college across the country to get away from her.  Bride has expressed a desire to elope, and at this point, I would encourage the same (but will not say that to anyone).  B & G have tried, and MOB once banned my son from her home when he was to go over and bring his guest list and show her the menu for the RD.   As I said earlier, this is a seriously flawed family dynamic.  I am not the type who forces my will on that of others, and will flex to accommodate others, but draw the line at being a doormat.  It took me a while to learn that, and I think my son has yet to run into many people who do that, and does not have a plan in place for dealing with people like that, but he is learning it very fast.  Bride has spent a lifetime doing it, and seems to have given up.  She acts as though she just wants to get through it.   They are young, and will have to learn to deal with all types.  I think they will learn a lot from all this, and it will be a good life lesson.
Posted by hacked[/QUOTE]

I'm sure you're right. What a shame, though, that it has to be their wedding that teaches them this. I mean, that it has to cloud their special day in any way, much less make it something they just have to "get through". That's terrible. I hope from here on out, at least, they live their own lives and make each other happy, and put unpleasant people behind them as much as they can. It's hard, but they will learn they have to, as you said.

Best of luck to you. It sounds like you're remaining gracious under fire. 

EDITED: I didn't see that you'd found a solution already. Good for you, and it sounds like a good one. 

kmmssg

In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette??:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette?? : I'm fairly sure kmm knows you are the MOG and meant to put MOB.   Funny when I read her post I didn't catch she said MOG.  I knew the backstory and read it as MOB not you. Anyway, I would remove my credit card right from the florist.  Sorry there is no way in hell let that lady have unlimited access to order whatever she wants with  ZERO input from you.  Sorry, no.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

Hacked - I am SO sorry!!  I was trying so hard not to mess that up!

hacked

In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette??:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette?? : Hacked - I am SO sorry!!  I was trying so hard not to mess that up!
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

That is fine!  When I saw my name swapped for the MOB who is such a...  acts so... well, I got a rapid pulse and found myself fanning away the vapors.  I nearly fell on the floor, leaving my DH to draw a chalk outline around me and stick a lily in my hand.  

hacked

In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette??:
[QUOTE]I am happy it worked out for you and the bride.  And that you found a florist that will make her the corsages that you want and flowers that she likes for a great price.  I would definely do a good review of that place after the wedding is over and a bad review for the other place.
Posted by snippet17[/QUOTE]

I guess since I have not had to look for a vender, I am not sure how one pulls a knife out and hacks a vender into tiny pieces.  Can you assist me in finding out how to do this?  While I am waiting, I will get a stone and sharpen my knife.  It really could use a sharp edge.

Is that what people mean when they say "proboards?  I hate to think that they mean women who are pros, if you get my meaning.

When I am not upset with the MOB, I feel so much better.

lyndausvi

In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette??:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette?? : That is fine!  When I saw my name swapped for the MOB who is such a...  acts so... well, I got a rapid pulse and found myself fanning away the vapors.  I nearly fell on the floor, leaving my DH to draw a chalk outline around me and stick a lily in my hand.  
Posted by hacked[/QUOTE]

I like you.

GL - your FDIL seems very sweet despite the wack job of a mother.

kmmssg

In Response to Re:Corsage etiquette??:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette??:In Response to Re: Corsage etiquette?? : Hacked I am SO sorry!! nbsp;I was trying so hard not to mess that up!Posted by kmmssgThat is fine! nbsp;When I saw my name swapped for the MOB who is such a... nbsp;acts so... well, I got a rapid pulse and found myself fanning away the vapors. nbsp;I nearly fell on the floor, leaving my DH to draw a chalk outline around me and stick a lily in my hand. nbsp; Posted by hacked[/QUOTE We have the same twisted mind. I really like you!