Wedding Invitations & Paper

Wording for a unique vow renewal.

Hello!

So, this is my first post.  I have done some lurking and haven't seen any answers to the following questions...so I do hope I'm following the proper etiquette for The Knot Community.

Anyway,  my situation is somewhat unique.  To make a long story short, we never had a wedding. We did the deed quickly at a courthouse before he deployed...I don't even have a picture of that day, and to make things even better, the folks handling our paperwork in the Army actually lost our pretty marriage certificate.  We planned on having our actual ceremony when he got back, but life apparently had other plans for us (extremely premature birth of our daughter meant quite a lot of bills to pay!). So we will be having a vow renewal ceremony on our fifth wedding anniversary so that we can FINALLY celebrate with friends and family.

Now, I know there's some stigma when it comes to hosting vow renewals.  I'm trying my best to balance etiquette with actually having the "wedding" I've always wanted, so keep that in mind when reading my following questions, please.

1. Save the Dates.  Here's the wording I've come up with:
"Bride" and "Groom" were married in a private ceremony on "wedding date."  Please Save the date to celebrate with us as we renew our vows on the fifth anniversary of our marriage.

Is this decent wording?

2.  Because I want to pay homage to the fact that I don't want people to think I'm throwing myself a "second wedding,"  I was thinking it would be fun to have a "white" theme and ask all guests to show up in white attire.  It's a summer outdoor event.  I've read in the FAQ page that you're not supposed to mention attire requirements in invitations...so how do you go about mentioning a theme like this?

Sorry for the long post, and I really appreciate any help.  Thanks!

Re: Wording for a unique vow renewal.

  • In Response to Wording for a unique vow renewal.:
    [QUOTE] 2.  Because I want to pay homage to the fact that I don't want people to think I'm throwing myself a "second wedding,"  I was thinking it would be fun to have a "white" theme and ask all guests to show up in white attire.  It's a summer outdoor event.  I've read in the FAQ page that you're not supposed to mention attire requirements in invitations...so how do you go about mentioning a theme like this? Sorry for the long post, and I really appreciate any help.  Thanks!
    Posted by VictoriaAnn89[/QUOTE]

    Allow me to edit this portion.  After thinking about it, I don't want to necessarily ask people to show up in white simply because I don't want anyone to think it's required.  Would it be better to mention that it's just a "white" theme and guests are encouraged to play along?
  • In Response to Re: Wording for a unique vow renewal.:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Wording for a unique vow renewal. : It is fine for you to have a party to celebrate your fifth anniversary, and if you want to renew your vows in front of your guests, this is fine, too. It is not OK to ask your guests to dress in white.  This is rude.  Sorry.  Please don't do this. I would noy use STDs for a vow renewal.  Just send your invitations out 6 weeks before the event, like any formal invitation.  Here is suggested wording: Mr. and Mrs. John Allreadymarried request the pleasure of your company as they reaffirm their marriage vows Date time Venue Address City, State Reception to follow This makes it very clear that it is not a wedding invitation. You should avoid using the words "bride, groom, wedding" in connection with your celebration.  No bridesmaids.  No big white wedding dress.  No bouquet tossing.  No cake cutting ceremony, though serving cake is fine.  No showers or bachelorette parties. It sounds like you are being realistic about your celebration.  Here is a website with vow renewal etiquette:  www.IDoTakeTwo.com. Please don't say that you never hjad a wedding.  You did have a wedding, and it was at the courthouse.  There are many brides who did the same as you, and they cherish the memory of their wedding.  To say that it wasn't a wedding is insulting to them.
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    Ditto everything CMGr said.

  • mlg78mlg78 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    In Response to Re: Wording for a unique vow renewal.:
    [QUOTE]I agree about not having bridesmaids, groomsmen, showers, bachelor parties, bachelorette parties, First Dance, bouquet toss and registries for vow renewals. I disagree that you can't have a dress or a cake cutting...especially the cake-cutting. Cake-cuttings are VERY common at anniversary parties I attend, even if it's just a sheet cake with HAPPY ANNIVERSARY on it.  They're especially common, complete with the couple feeding, at the "replica wedding cakes" for the 25th and 50th wedding anniversary parties.  Those aren't rude to the guests, and aren't a reenactment of anything.  The couple renewing vows often wears the attire they wore to their wedding at vow renewal.. if they still fit in it! I wouldn't side-eye a dress for a fifth or tenth anniversary vow renewal.  It's the six-month and one-year ones, or when the couple is trying to pretend it's a wedding rather than a renewal.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    I agree. I don't see anything wrong with the dress or cake either.
  • Thanks for the input, everyone.  I really appreciate it!
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