Does MOH give a gift?

wondersquirrel

Is it customary for the MOH to buy a wedding gift? I've been as economical as possible, but after the dress, alterations, shoes, accessories, bachelorette party, bridal shower and shower gift, and miscellaneous expenses, I've spent $600 and I'm broke (as have the other bridesmaids). Even another $25 would put me in trouble. I started saving money for the wedding about 8 months ago, but the bride asked us last-minute to pay for several things that she said she would take care of, and that put an extra $250 on each of us that we hadn't planned for. (Of course hindsight is 20/20, and this has taught me that even if it's my best friend, I shouldn't assume someone will pay for something until I see the money). Add to that some unforseen medical expenses, and suddenly I have a considerable amount of debt.

Am I still expected to get the couple a gift? Everything on their registery is pretty pricey so it would have to be something more "homemade." Is this ok, and can you suggest any ideas?

AddieCake

Gifts are never required. And since you have spent so much already, I am sure the bride and groom won't bat an eye that you don't get them a gift.

[Deleted User]

I think you've spent enough on your friend, especially if you don't think she is going to keep her word on paying you back for some other expenses. Consider that her gift. Honestly, I don't even think she'll notice whether or not you do. I went to a wedding this past september where the bride has 6 sisters. None of them bought her a gift. Their gift to her was helping plan such a huge wedding. Also, I definitely don't expect any of my bridesmaids to give me anything from my registry (or anything at all for that matter). You friend should just want you to be there to make her day fun. I wouldn't even give it a second thought, because you've already given more than any regular guest will. 

JoanE2012

wondersquirrel said:

Is it customary for the MOH to buy a wedding gift? I've been as economical as possible, but after the dress, alterations, shoes, accessories, bachelorette party, bridal shower and shower gift, and miscellaneous expenses, I've spent $600 and I'm broke (as have the other bridesmaids). Even another $25 would put me in trouble. I started saving money for the wedding about 8 months ago, but the bride asked us last-minute to pay for several things that she said she would take care of, and that put an extra $250 on each of us that we hadn't planned for. (Of course hindsight is 20/20, and this has taught me that even if it's my best friend, I shouldn't assume someone will pay for something until I see the money). Add to that some unforseen medical expenses, and suddenly I have a considerable amount of debt.

Am I still expected to get the couple a gift? Everything on their registery is pretty pricey so it would have to be something more "homemade." Is this ok, and can you suggest any ideas?

No gift necessary.  I would just give a card with some thoughtful words and well wishes.

Xstatic3333

A few years ago FI was in a wedding right after coming off of a period of unemployment and wasn't able to give a gift in addition to travel, time off, and tux rental.  It happens, and I'm sure your friend would understand if she even notices at all.  I agree that a thoughtful card with a nice, handwritten message would be a great idea.