Cabbage

MissMolly

A few days ago, Mom got in touch with my FMIL to chat about shower/stagette-related things (Mom and my sister are planning this). Both of their phone numbers and email addresses are on the invite. My sister's address includes her middle initial, which is "C", and FMIL asked Mom if it stood for "cabbage", and if that was her nickname. Then she laughed. FMIL likes to "test" people (I don't know what this means), but Mom felt a little upset by this, as she didn't name her children after vegetables. Not sure if this should just be blown off, or if someone should say something to her next time it happens, if there is a next time.

Belou52579

Someone should commend your FMIL on her sense of humor....I would have loved to have seen this play out in person.

wittykitty14

Wait, was your mom actually upset by this?  I find this hilarious, but a little random.  The main reason I find this amusing though is because I had a friend who I called "Cabbage" for a while, and I haven't the slightest clue why anymore.  But her name does start with C!

MissMolly

She was off-put by it, yes. Mostly because of a culmination, I think. FMIL has come out with some pretty random, insulting things since I started dating her son. She has also said many times that she would like to contribute to the wedding, but hasn't because she doesn't want to step on any toes. So yes, combined with the above, her comment was found off-putting.

Maggie0829

I don't even get the joke your FMIL was trying to convey?  Why would some think asking if the letter C in the email address stood for cabbage to be remotely funny in anyway is beyond me?  I don't even know why your Mom felt offended by it because the joke is just plain dumb and doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

I would just tell your Mom to let it slide and move on.

MairePoppy

Ditto Maggie. 

Does the word 'cabbage' have some other meaning? I don't get it.

MissMolly

Nope, no meaning whatsoever. Like I said, the lady likes to "test" people, I guess to see what their reactions are. Cabbage has zero meaning; it was just a stupid comment that makes zero sense. We were jokingly thinking, that if this comes up at the shower, of telling her that yes, in fact sister's name is indeed cabbage, as she farts a lot and that is what her farts smell like, and that she can also refer to her FDIL as romaine, because I eat so many salads! It's either that, or "gee, that's a silly comment" or" what in the sam he// do you mean by that?" :-S

AddieCake

What a stupid "joke" to make. 

MairePoppy

"We were jokingly thinking, that if this comes up at the shower, of telling her that yes, in fact sister's name is indeed cabbage, as she farts a lot and that is what her farts smell like, "

Well, dear, you are much funnier than your FMIL. If it's okay with your sister, it'd be interesting to see how FMIL reacts to your 'test.'

You and your mom should just give her a blank stare when she makes such senseless remarks. 

MissMolly

What?!? Okay, this I didn't know, and this makes me really, really mad. If there is a next time that this happens, she will be put in her place. That's just a horrible thing to say, and I'm seeing red.

RetreadBride said:

Callng someone cabbage means calling them stupid.  It's a  term from an older generation.

She is referring to her as a vegetable.

MairePoppy

I've never heard of that, Retread. If that's the case, this FMIL is awful. 

Maggie0829

MairePoppy said:

I've never heard of that, Retread. If that's the case, this FMIL is awful. 

She also needs to update her insults to the 21st century kind.  So at least when she insults people they will understand what the heck she is saying so that they can be given a chance at stating a comeback.

MissMolly

The woman is 72, so I get that some of her euphemisms will be old-style, but Maggie, I do agree. With insults like that to people younger than her, we end up looking like "cabbages" for not knowing what the heck she's saying, and she ends up looking smug. I dislike this enough that I'm not sure I can handle this. Insults to me is one thing; insults to those I love is another ballgame entirely.

ShannonRaindrop

take the wind out of her sails by saying..."OMG, YES, how did you guess?!" or just very sweetly say "well bless your heart" every time she says something insulting. That should nip it in the bud. 

calliopeia2013

MairePoppy said:

I've never heard of that, Retread. If that's the case, this FMIL is awful. 

Yup, it's definitely an archaic insult.  I guess it's possible that FMIL wasn't even aware of that meaning and WAS just being random, though.

I think this sort of situation calls for (in the future at least; probably better to just let this one go)what has become my standard treatment for racist or otherwise inappropriate jokes, which is to pretend not to get it in a way that puts the rude joke-maker on the spot and forces them to explain their rude joke in way that will hopefully embarrass them.  It has led to some highly awkward but highly amusing situations, and really takes the wind out of the sort of awful people who get a kick out of upsetting others.

akaneli

calliopeia2013 said:

MairePoppy said:

I've never heard of that, Retread. If that's the case, this FMIL is awful. 

Yup, it's definitely an archaic insult.  I guess it's possible that FMIL wasn't even aware of that meaning and WAS just being random, though.

I think this sort of situation calls for (in the future at least; probably better to just let this one go)what has become my standard treatment for racist or otherwise inappropriate jokes, which is to pretend not to get it in a way that puts the rude joke-maker on the spot and forces them to explain their rude joke in way that will hopefully embarrass them.  It has led to some highly awkward but highly amusing situations, and really takes the wind out of the sort of awful people who get a kick out of upsetting others.

I agree I think the best way to "get her back" would be to not let her get a rise out of you and "out-lady" her if you will, others will see her true colors in due time.