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I think a proposal is coming...

Hi, all. I'm 27 and my boyfriend is 31. We've been together for 7 years come July. We have lived together for the vast majority of that time. I know, I know, giving the milk for free. I hate that expression, but yes, I've been the wife-who's-not-a-wife.

Three years ago there was a big debacle. I was putting the pressure on him big-time for a ring and marriage. He told me he wasn't ready because of our finances, but I was the one for him. I was becoming neurotic, obsessed, resentful, the usual. After some soul searching and sage advice, I let it all go. I didn't set a timetable in my mind because I knew I was not going to leave. I just focused on enjoying our relationship. I conquered my neurosis and have been happy and relaxed. I have not brought up in any shape or form the topic of marriage or engagement in at least 2 years, though his mother decided to tell him to buy me a ring over a very, very awkward dinner in December of last year....yuck. I was mortified, but kept my mouth shut. He's a quiet guy, and said nothing at that dinner or afterward, either. I regressed back to being internally neurotic for a few days, but, proudly, I didn't show or tell any of it. Desperation is never good. His mother, thankfully, dropped the topic ( at least in his presence. ) I've also been helping his sister plan her wedding for the last six months. I'm the MOH. Absolutely no passive aggressiveness or unhappiness or remarks to him have been made by me in regards to her wedding. I'm excited to be her MOH! Maybe, just maybe, her wedding has been prompting him to think.

He has brought up marriage casually here and there, and we talked about the type of wedding we would want, honeymoon, vows, but that was nothing new...until last week. Out of nowhere, before he left for work one morning, he told me to send him an email with my ring size and ring styles I liked. He texted me from work to remind me to send him the email, and it was the first thing he asked about when he got home. Then he told me he wanted to go to the mall this past weekend to pick up handsoap from Bath and Body Works. This man has never, in our entire relationship and possibly never in his life, entered that store. He has told me not to ask for items from them for Christmas because just walking in gives him a headache ( he's got a sensitive nose.) All of the sudden, he was raving about the handsoap we have had for months. I, of course, thought to myself, " He wants to look in the jewelry shops but for some reason wants a pretense. " Once again, kept my mouth shut.

Sure enough, we go to the mall, walk in past a Kay's Jewelers, and he says, " While we're here, let's go in and look at rings and get your finger sized so we know it for sure. " We went into Gordon's and Zale's as well, all his suggestion. He was also very engaged in the foray into Bath and Body Works, so perhaps he really does love that handsoap!

We get home, and he starts showing me wedding bands online he likes for himself and tells me he wants to make sure our bands match. He grabbed a magazine I had and flipped to the jewelry section and pointed out some rings he liked. He admitted to looking up the 4 C's and metal types...something I already knew from snooping through the internet history ( I am a sneaky one, lol ). He's been asking me little questions about metal and carat weight in very general jewelry contexts for the last two months, but I had been trying not to read anything into it. Now I am reading into it!

I have been cool as a cucumber through all of this, and have done nothing beyond saying that I would be happy with any ring he gets and pointing out a few styles in the email and in the stores. Of course, I am quietly becoming a crazy woman again, but just in my head. Wink Ever since the email request a few days ago, he's been very sweet and *ahem* frisky. What has happened to my "not-ready" man? Could he finally be ready?



Re: I think a proposal is coming...

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    kmbryant2413kmbryant2413 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited May 2013
    Sounds like it. If you haven't been sweating it, don't sweat it now. You're going to feel really badly if you get yourself all excited and wonder if 'this date' is 'the one' or 'this holiday' is 'the holiday', so much so that you might miss some important times in your life waiting. Stay chill, and be surprised :)

    ETA: I forgot - Welcome to NEY! Go up there and fill out the 'Getting to know you' questionnaire and bring it back here :) These ladies are absolute gems about talking women off 'the ledge', which it sounds like if you've done it for yourself before, a friendly reminder from the ladies here will help nudge you back down. They're all great ladies, stay and hang out!
    my blog - for the love of ein
    'Next time, just fart.' - BriSox81
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    Sounds like it. If you haven't been sweating it, don't sweat it now. You're going to feel really badly if you get yourself all excited and wonder if 'this date' is 'the one' or 'this holiday' is 'the holiday', so much so that you might miss some important times in your life waiting. Stay chill, and be surprised :)

    ETA: I forgot - Welcome to NEY! Go up there and fill out the 'Getting to know you' questionnaire and bring it back here :) These ladies are absolute gems about talking women off 'the ledge', which it sounds like if you've done it for yourself before, a friendly reminder from the ladies here will help nudge you back down. They're all great ladies, stay and hang out!
    I definitely want to stay off that ledge. I'm going to try!
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    It certainly sounds like he's getting somewhere with this readiness thing - his new interests are very exciting, lol. Just keep that cool-as-a-cucumber thing as your goal, enjoy a few butterflies, and enjoy and nurture every part of your life as it is right now - your relationship, job, health, and hobbies. If you're right, all of that other stuff will be a huge part of your life soon enough. :)
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    If you are shopping for rings together he is getting close to being ready for a proposal.  :)  Good luck with trying to stay cool, I'm not sure I would be able to.  lol
    photo composite_14153800476219.jpg
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    At the very least, it sounds like he's considering rings for "one day".

    You've been doing so well.  Don't go crazy now.  Enjoy your relationship as it is now.  Enjoy saying "my boyfriend" while you still can.

    Stick around.  We'll help you off the ledge.
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    Screen Name: sweetpookielove ...I know, it's horrible,  just threw some cheesy words together

    Age: 27

    Significant Other's Age:
    31

    What You Do: childcare and tutoring as part of an umbrella school

    What SO Does: manager in retail

    State of Relationship: good! ha, dating would be the state I suppose.

    How Long You've Been Together:
    since July 1, 2006

    How You Met: at work in January of 2006

    Wedding Date (if you're engaged/married): N/A at the moment! Put Oct 31, 2015 in my profile since it was required as part of sign-up. October is because I like the fall, 2015 because of wishful thinking.

    Real Babies: none. No babies without marriage for me, and possibly not then. I love children, but the responsibility of having my own terrifies me a bit. Don't know yet.

    Fur Babies: a kitty

    Loves:
    thunderstorms

    Hates: cleaning, but I do it anyway.

    Pet Peeves: Lack of humility and empathy in other people. I like anyone as long as they are genuinely kind.

    Hobbies/Activities: shopping with my sisters, cooking, video games, needlework, reading, playing cards, spending time with family

    Favorite Thing About Your SO:
    He's a gentleman.

    Least Favorite Thing About Your SO:
      He's gloomy at times. He's my Eeyore. : ) When he is having a bad day, I can see the little black cloud over his head raining down on him!

    Describe Your Personality: mellow, girly, cheerful, quiet, dorky

    Snark Level (1 [low snark] - 10 [high snark]): 1

    I've Been On TK Since: today

    How You Came to Be On TK:
    Had to get my craziness out somewhere. I remembered looking at this site
    once a few years back.

    How I like my potatoes: Baked and loaded! yum.

    Favorite book/author: It's a kid's book, but I have read A Wrinkle In Time many, many times. I like trashy
    romance, horror, and fantasy when it comes to adult books.

    Tell Us Something Interesting About Yourself:
    I'm pretty boring, but content.

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    Photos of your kitty, please!
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    Aww I remember reading A Wrinkle in Time, that used to be one of my favorites too. 
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    Welcome!  I love that you say your SO is your "Eeyore"...now I have that voice in my head "Noooobody loves me".  :)
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    Congrats!!! I'm on the fence with you!!! I think one's coming, and I think I know where (we have a big family trip planned in two weeks) Anyways, I'm hoping, and I know I will be disappointed if it doesn;t happen.

    Can't wait to hear when yours does!!

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