Not Engaged Yet

Pre-Planning or Just Keeping Informed?

So BF and I are flying back to NY (where I'm from) over Labor Day Weekend for a wedding.  Because it's a holiday weekend, I really want to book the flights soon before prices go up, considering the end of August is only 3 1/2 months from now and that's when we would be leaving.  It's going to be the first and last time we get back for a while, and BF can't really take more than a few days off at that point in the year.  We'll most likely be engaged by then, and I only know this because  BF has said on many occasions that we will be (on his own accord) and we've discussed visiting wedding venues while we're there because it's probably the only chance we'll get for a while since we live in CA.

My concern is that because it's a holiday weekend, catering halls will be busy or closed and they won't be taking appointments for quite a few of the days that we're in town.  Despite not being able to take a long trip, we do have some flexibility with the two or three days that we can take off in terms of whether they are before or after the weekend--I'm just not sure which is best.  So, my question is whether or not it's completely insane to do a little intel and find out from a few places when/if they are taking appointments within that time frame.  I reallyreallyreally don't want to pre-plan--not only because it's crazy but also because I feel like it takes the excitement out of the real planning when the time comes, but I'm worried that it's stupid to just leave it to chance when I know this is our only shot for a while.

So, what do you guys think?  I'm a little worried about being flamed for this, and it's okay if you think it's a dumb question--just know I'm not intentionally being an ass, I'm just really not sure what to do.

Re: Pre-Planning or Just Keeping Informed?

  • I would assume most venues are available both thurs/fri before and tues/wed after Labor Day. I do think you can likely book flights without booking venue appointments.

    I'd wait to book venue appts because I'm weird like that. Also, half the Venues we emailed didn't even reply, so I'd recommend maybe having a list of more than the number you were thinking of making appts for.

    Enjoy this time! Good luck!
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    If it were me I wouldn't even really think about it. But I'll concede that this is a grey area and I don't think you'd be completely BSC for scheduling ahead. Do what you AND your SO are comfortable with.
  • Thank you all for the advice...sounds like I still have some contemplating to do!  Just to clarify, I definitely don't want to go so far as to schedule appointments--I was just thinking of whether or not it would be smart to give a quick call to a few venues to ask when they take appointments and if it's any different for a holiday weekend.  Obviously then I run the risk of them being booked up, but actually scheduling appointments is definitely more than I'm comfortable with.
  • CLoGreenEyesCLoGreenEyes member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited May 2013
    I was going to say, if you're just confirming that they will be taking appointments during the time you'll be there, I don't think that's a problem since you and your BF both seem comfortable with it.

    ETA: Just re-read your post, so *if* you and your BF are both comfortable with it. Ya know. Just to be on the up-and-up.
  • Do not contact any venue or vendor about anything wedding related until you are engaged.

    It really is that simple.
  • I wouldn't feel comfortable contact venues or anything until I was engaged.  Even if FI had been completely ok with it. 
  • @loves2shop4shoes is 100% correct.

    Just adding my .02 if you are looking at venues and aren't engaged or have a wedding date set you are wasting the time of the venue rep especially on a holiday weekend.

    I also think it's just bad karma or something doing things like that before you're engaged but that's just my honest opinion.

    My formula in all of this: not engaged=no wedding stuff.

     Wedding Countdown Ticker

    image 59 Invited
    image 36 Yes
    image 2 No
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  • Again, to clarify, we would not by any means whatsoever be looking at venues prior to being engaged, nor would we be making any appointments.  I was only considering making a call or two to make sure that they would be taking appointments at all during the time we would be home.

    The more I think about it though, I'm just not comfortable making the calls.  It just feels icky.  I know BF wouldn't even bat an eye at it, but if I was okay with it I probably wouldn't have needed to start a thread about it.  We'll just take as many days off as we can and make it work somehow when the time comes.  Did I mention I let my mother put this idea in my head?  I need to stop taking her calls...

    Thanks, ladies!
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