Not Engaged Yet

How Long Did You Date Your BF/SO Before....

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Re: How Long Did You Date Your BF/SO Before....

  • I only got antsy after we passed the 18 month mark  by a couple of months. I think I was antsy mostly because we initially agreed it was yay or nay after 2 years together. In the end it all fell together :).
  • H and I were very close friends for a few years before we started dating...  mostly because I had a BF and H patiently waited it out.  we casually dated a little, broke up, then started seriously dating a year after the break-up.  when we started seriously dating (after a big, emotional break-up a year earlier) H already knew he wanted to marry me.  5.5-7.5 months later he proposed.  8.5 months later we were married.  we've been married almost 2 years (this July!)

    it was a good time in our lives for marriage.  if we hadn't been ready, we would have continued dating.  I definitely agree that it takes more than just "knowing" or love.  thankfully we had a few years' of deep friendship that we based our romantic relationship on.  honestly, there weren't any big surprises...  except that his family is a little crazier than I originally thought...  and he used to leave big "sock mountains" next to the bed, and that drove me crazy.  thank heavens he doesn't do that anymore!  :)
  • mrslaurabrownmrslaurabrown member
    First Comment
    edited May 2013
    We'd been dating for over a year and a half, almost two years when he proposed.  Marriage talk started at about one year, and progressively became more frequent.  Once we hit a year and a half, it was pretty obvious to the both of us that our relationship was headed in that direction.  I remember one of the conversations, he mentioned he never thought about marriage until we started dating.
  • I think that article stating that men usually know at three months is straight up BS or inaccurate. My FI took a year to be certain he wanted to propose to me, and another three months to obtain the ring and arrange for the proposal. Call me cynical, but I think those low numbers are meant to make women feel antsy and insecure enough to pressure their SO's into declaring their commitment quickly and ideally with a big honking diamond ring. (To the profit of the wedding industry, of course.) Why else would stats like that be gathered? And how did that article obtain itsinformation?

    I'm with you on this entirely. I think men feel even more pressure when it comes to marriage than women at times. My fiancé almost left me 6 months in because he freaked himself out. I never mentioned wedding or engagement ring. We went to a few weddings and he felt all pressured. I told him though I may want that with you that has to come in our time not someone elses time which means when we're both ready. He calmed down then and 8 months later he was the one telling me all the things we would have at our wedding etc. So men definitely feel the pressure just as much as women if not more in some ways. Sometimes the best thing we can do is just shut up and let it be for all parties sanity.
    coopergirl15
  • GoldenPenguinGoldenPenguin Upstate NY mod
    Moderator Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
    BF & I have been together for almost eight months. We moved in after seven months, and it's been a pretty smooth first month. I would say I "knew" probably around 3-4 months that he was the one for me. We haven't seriously discussed timelines, but we have a lot of weddings going on around us, so there have been a few soft discussions here & there. I have a feeling we may be engaged by this time next year. Also, I co-blame Shoes & Liv for any BSC I may exhibit.



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    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

  • ally91ally91 member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Six months in we first told each other we wanted to marry each other, and about a year and a few months is when I got really really really antsy. But we had known each other and had been best friends for well over a decade.
    Soon-to-be Mrs. Kent
  • Actually, this might sound crazy, but I realized it after about a month. I just had this overwhelming feeling where something told me, "This is the real deal, I want to marry this man." Everything just felt so right. I told one of my friends about it and of course she's not good with secrets but oh well lol. Anyways, before telling him, she kind of made it obvious and we talked and everything felt so right. You know that your SO is the one when you have no doubts whatsoever and everything just feels right and normal.

  • I have not been married in the past, but we both knew we wanted to marry each other within a couple(2 to 3) months from the start of our relationship. 
    "You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." -Ray Bradbury 
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Ours is a similar story as above - we dated our senior year and first year of college. I always knew he is who I would marry. However, life throws curveballs and we lost our way together. We broke up and married others. After both marriages ended the summer of 2012, we reconnected. I contacted him and really thought he'd be "Oh, nice to hear from you. hope life is good and I'm not interested" - LOL

    About two months into dating, his dad asked when we were going to get married. We've talked about it, and we know when we want to, but I don't have a ring, yet. (We have a family vacation coming up, so I'm hoping then is when he will ask). We've now been together 6 months, and while some say that isn't enough time, it is for us.

  • Hmm, I guess my H and I took a little longer than many people?

    We were co-workers at first, then started dating. I wasn't sure I wanted a serious relationship at the time. We said "I love you" at about 6 months, then moved in together after about a year together. It was another year before we started talking about marriage, and I think about a year after that that he proposed. 
  • edited May 2013

    Together a few months before talking about it, married after 7 months, divorced after 4 yrs. I was 21 and that was way too young for me. I wish I had waited. My next relationship lasted 5 yrs with marriage talk after 2yrs but we split before we got married.

    Its all on the couple. No two relationships are the same. My bro and his wife started dating at age 15 and within two months they were pregnant(oops) and were married a month later. They have 5 kids and two grandkids now:)

  • behsco90behsco90 Oregon member
    100 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    My boyfriend and I were co-workers and friends for five years before we got together. I think two months in we said I love you, and maybe a few months after that knew we'd be together forever and started causally looking at rings after being together less than six months.  We've been together for a year and 3ish months. Now I'm just waiting for him to buy a ring and pop the question!
  • I was thinking about it around the 2 years mark I think.  We discussed it a little bit but nothing serious.  Then he finally proposed at the 4 1/2 year mark.  Our 6 year anniversary is August and we are getting married in October.  :)

  • I honestly can't remember the exact moment that I knew I wanted to marry my H. We discussed being together forever very early on and were on the same page for our entire relationship and we still are. We also fell in love very quickly. It also helped that we communicate well, live together, share our finances, etc.  I never thought about a proposal until he discussed it and we went to look at rings. After that I forgot about it and just enjoyed our relationship. He proposed about a year after he brought up proposing. 
  • @mymissingpuzzlepiece, I see y'all JUST got married (according to the ticker, lol). Belated congratulations! :)
  • I think it was about six months into the relationship that we first mentioned marriage. He actually brought it up to me saying, "I've been telling everyone that I just know you're the one."  We kind of left it at that.  The first serious discussion didn't happen until after a year of dating, when we talked about moving in together and where we saw the relationship going.
  • 500days500days MA member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    SO and I met in middle school (I actually work there now). Having known each other since 1997, you would think that marriage discussions would have happened earlier than it has in our relationship. We have been together for 4.5 years and started thinking about our future together about 1-1.5 years ago. We have been pretty settled for awhile now, but it would be nice to be each other's primary/emergency contact. 
  • Thanks :) I didn't post a recap because I haven't been around in awhile and I didn't want to just jump in here yelling "Hey guys,  I'm married!"
  • Depends on the couple and the circumstances. FI and I are 31 and 27 and were both looking to settle down when we started dating. No more "dating for the sake of dating." It was clear VERY early on that we were meant to be together.

    I say all of that knowing everyone will still think we're crazy, but we started talking about it after we'd been dating about a month (we started dating right before Christmas '12) and got engaged three months later. Obviously, I don't recommend that for everyone. But when you know that you know that you know...
  • Two weeks, no joke. I just knew. But I didn't say anything until five or six months in. It's a second marriage for both of us, so I guess we had already spent a lot of time figuring out what we wanted in a partner, and knew it when we saw it.
    "I wish yo azz all tha dopest up in yo' marriages"
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