Change Of Plans...

LaurenGarciaKrueger

My FI proposed the day before St Patty's Day. It was a total surprise, and absolutely perfect- simple and sweet. (He proposed a month early, as he had a very ornate plan to propose April 20.) I've always wanted something small and simple, yet our guest list is 250 people. Simple, for that many, is quite expensive... So, instead of planning a wedding, reception, dinner, fireworks, and all the other beautiful things we wanted- we are deciding to take our closest friends to Las Vegas and have a weekend of fun- then fly out for our HM. I love the idea! (Since the Bellagio has fireworks show every night. Fireworks are important to us.)

We want to have a party when we get back (like a couple months after the wedding) It will be casual- barbecue, beer, margarita machine, band with dancing. I won't wear a wedding dress to the party. I will display photos of our Vegas wedding at the party. I would like to send a postcard invite to guests with our picture in Vegas on the front.

My question, or your opinion is regarding the following.
1) Do we send an invite before the wedding in Vegas and allow people to watch the ceremony via internet?
2) Do we send an invite to just the party to celebrate our wedding? Is 2 months enough time?
3) What are the "rules" for a "We are Married" celebration?

professorscience

Generally, it's considered poor taste to ONLY invite people to your reception, which is essentially what your afterparty is.  It's intended to thank your guests for attending your ceremony.  If you didn't invite them to your ceremony, that's kind of lame.

That said, I've been to receptions for couples who had DWs and didn't even think twice about it.  I wouldn't have been able to go to their wedding in Mexico or wherever had I been invited, so it doesn't bother me as much as it apparently bothers some other girls on TK.

I also think the idea of live-streaming your ceremony is cute!

I think it's up to you what you want to do about your invites.  Two months is the typical time for wedding invites, so that should be plenty of time.

fallbride1109

1) I would say no but this is JMO.  You might want to ask on the Vegas wedding board.  I love Vegas and if I didn't get invited to the wedding I'd be mad and the internet thing would be a big disappointment.

2) What you are doing is called an At Home Reception or AHR and yes you send the invitation to this and I think 2 months is fine. 

The problem you get into with inviting "your closest friends" is when people who think they will be in that category don't make the cut.  It's best to keep it to immediate family only.  You are correct that the AHR should be casual, no wedding dress, etc. and you do not register for gifts.  What you are doing is done all the time but you have to be very careful that feelings aren't hurt, etc.

Like Amanda said, if you were to ask this on the National boards, you'd get raked over the coals.  They would say no dancing, no cake cutting, you're already married, etc., but personally I don't go that far.  As long as it's low key and tasteful you should be fine.  You can show your pictures, have a champagne toast, cut and serve a cake, etc.

LaurenGarciaKrueger

Not everyone on the guest list would like Vegas. There are alot of conservatives in the bunch. I just like the idea of eloping and partying. But we communicate with our close friends and family and have an idea of who would like Vegas- those would be invited. We are on a budget and don't want to invite 250 to Vegas! I wouldn't call the party a reception. I think it would be a party to celebrate our elopement- is that a word? LOL. No cake or photo booth. Just fun and pie and bbq- and very casual.

Thanks for the input

fallbride1109

In Response to Re: Change Of Plans...:
[QUOTE]Not everyone on the guest list would like Vegas. There are alot of conservatives in the bunch. I just like the idea of eloping and partying. But we communicate with our close friends and family and have an idea of who would like Vegas- those would be invited. We are on a budget and don't want to invite 250 to Vegas! I wouldn't call the party a reception. I think it would be a party to celebrate our elopement- is that a word? LOL. No cake or photo booth. Just fun and pie and bbq- and very casual. Thanks for the input
Posted by LaurenGarciaKrueger[/QUOTE]

It's not about liking Vegas--it's about not getting to be a part of the wedding ceremony but still asked to "celebrate" a wedding they weren't a part of. 

I totally understand and I'm not trying to be snarky, just preparing you for how some may feel that's all.  I wanted to do the same thing and would have if my ILs hadn't offered to pay for a wedding. However, I would have only invited our parents and siblings and would not have done an AHR.  

[Deleted User]

Honestly, from what I have read so far what you are describing is perfectly fine as long as you still have a "reception" for the guests who came to your ceremony.  You wouldn't call it anything other than a party (you can say a family joining together party) whatever you like.  It sounds fun but my question is it still sounds like it could be a bit expensive. I have found the biggest part of the wedding stuff for me is food and drinks... Which even a party at home seems like it would run a lot for 250 people.  Just a thought.