RSVP's not required?
My FI and I are getting married in my hometown of Mechanicsburg,PA but we currently live right outside of Altoona, PA, approx 3 hours away. The weekend we are getting married is the weekend of the Carlisle Car Show and if anyone knows anything about that they know how incredibly difficult it is to get a room at the last minute. So with all that said, I have sent out some RSVP's approx 5 months in advance to those who live in the Altoona, PA area in the event that they want to come and need a room. I included a little note explaning why we sent the out so soon. We are also having a casual wedding so no mailing of responses is required, just a phone call or message me on Facebook will do. I guess where my issue comes in is we invited a majority of my FI family including his brother, mother and aunts and uncles. I have only heard from his mother and brother of whom the brother won't come for other immature reasons, but we heard from the mother that the rest of the family can't be bothered to plan that far in advance. Am I asking to much for someone to just pick up the phone and say I'm sorry we won't be able to make it? I really wasn't expecting to hear it from a third party who really didn't want to be involved in the first place.
Re: RSVP's not required?
The way it sounds, you sent invitations out WAY to early, without any need for an rsvp, and you are mad that people didn't rsvp?
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
[QUOTE]My FI and I are getting married in my hometown of Mechanicsburg,PA but we currently live right outside of Altoona, PA, approx 3 hours away. The weekend we are getting married is the weekend of the Carlisle Car Show and if anyone knows anything about that they know how incredibly difficult it is to get a room at the last minute. So with all that said, I have sent out some RSVP'sapprox 5 months in advance to those who live in the Altoona, PA area in the event that they want to come and need a room. I included a little note explaning why we sent the out so soon. We are also having a casual wedding so no mailing of responses is required, just a phone call or message me on Facebook will do. I guess where my issue comes in is we invited a majority of my FI family including his brother, mother and aunts and uncles. I have only heard from his mother and brother of whom the brother won't come for other immature reasons, but we heard from the mother that the rest of the family can't be bothered to plan that far in advance. Am I asking to much for someone to just pick up the phone and say I'm sorry we won't be able to make it? I really wasn't expecting to hear it from a third party who really didn't want to be involved in the first place.
Posted by dlshaffer26[/QUOTE]
Do you mean invitations? Or STD's?
And if you are asking people to respond via facebook, I don't know why you would be so upset about hearing it from 'the mother'.
I got married during prime tourist season in my city. We got married in Oct - we sent our STDs in January. They included our website info. We had already booked blocks of rooms and made it very very clear this is a high tourist time of year. Book now (or before the expiration date on the blocks) or you're on your own.
We sent out our invitations early (normal is 6-8) which gave our guests 9 weeks-ish between receipt and RSVP date, but we did that because of where we were getting married and that our room blocks where expiring a month/2 months respectively prior to the wedding date.
I think 5 months out was a little early...even if it's going to be a busy time in the are.
[QUOTE]Thank you all for your responses. I had to mail the invites because this family doesn't own a computer, let alone know how to turn one on. I did include a seperate note card that asked to call or message me on Facebook if they ever got online. The only reason I sent them out so early is because when I tried to book a hotel room for my bridal party 6 months in advance, all the hotels I called were booked for that day. I just happed to find one that had 3 rooms available, and trust me, I must have called 50 hotels in the area.
Posted by dlshaffer26[/QUOTE]
Do they also not own a phone?
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
[QUOTE]Why didn't you just send STDs instead of invitations so early?
Posted by misshart00[/QUOTE]
We didn't do STD's because personally we all felt it was a waste of money. Why sound out a STD when you will be sending out invites a few months later. I'm on a budget and frankly I didn't see where that was necessary.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: RSVP's not required? : Do they also not own a phone?
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]
That was my thought exactly! How hard is to pick up the phone and say sorry?
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: RSVP's not required? : Do they also not own a phone?
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]
This. Andplusalso, if you tried to book 6 months out with very little luck -- what makes you think sending invited out 5 months in advance would make any difference? You caused the rsvp issue yourself sending the invites sooo early.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: RSVP's not required? : That was my thought exactly! How hard is to pick up the phone and say sorry?
Posted by dlshaffer26[/QUOTE]
Um. NO. How hard would it have been for YOU to call them and say "make sure you book your hotel if you plan on coming". then you wouldn't have had to send out invites 5 months in advance and you wouldn't be having this problem.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
If you knew that this area has a car show every year, wouldn't it have made sense to check their schedule first? If you had known then that you had picked the same weekend, you could have called hotels a year (or more) in advance to book your hotel blocks.
It really sounds like even with the early invititation sending, there is no way your guests are going to get rooms.
But anyway, I think you're going to have a lot of problems with RSVPs and headcounts. Most people can't tell you today what they are planning on doing in October.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: RSVP's not required? : Um. NO. How hard would it have been for YOU to call them and say "make sure you book your hotel if you plan on coming". then you wouldn't have had to send out invites 5 months in advance and you wouldn't be having this problem.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]
Because I was lucky to just get an address. I had to ask about 10 times for address from everyone. I did also call a few that I was able to find their number on line and left several messages and no return call. I really don't feel after calling numerous times and send out an invite it's my job at that point to call again. It just boils down to common courtsey, which I'm learning his family just doesn't have.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: RSVP's not required? : Because I was lucky to just get an address. I had to ask about 10 times for address from everyone. I did also call a few that I was able to find their number on line and left several messages and no return call. I really don't feel after calling numerous times and send out an invite it's my job at that point to call again. It just boils down to common courtsey, which I'm learning his family just doesn't have.
Posted by dlshaffer26[/QUOTE]
Has your RSVP date already passed? If not, then you shouldn't be pressuring people for answers now. You shouldn't be doing that until a couple days after that date.
And I have to be honest - I think expecting people to respond 5 months out for your wedding is just as discourteous as them not responding to your loosy goosy FB RSVP request.
[QUOTE]I guess I was always a planner and when I got a wedding invite in the mail I noted it on my calendar if I wanted to go or not. I didn't usually wait to respond. I'm just finding it very difficult for anyone on his side of the family to respond to anything including a recent death in the family. Its almost like no one really cares about anyone. But as far as head count goes, if I don't hear back from them by the date noted I am marking them as declining. I just know in the past some have shown up and it created a big mess and I really don't want that to happen.
Posted by dlshaffer26[/QUOTE]
Have you ever received an invitation 5 months in advance and KNEW 100% if you could attend or not?
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: RSVP's not required? : You're terrible at wedding planning. Who did you get the addresses from? Why didn't that person have the phone numbers for these people? If no one knows how to contact these people beyond snail mail, maybe they aren't close enough to invite to the wedding. Keep throwing out excuses. They won't change the fact that you messed up by sending out invitations 5 months before your wedding.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]
well that was just plain rude. I had to get them from his mother because no one would call us back for their address. This is what I am getting at. I have called numerous time just to get an address and no one returns calls. I had to ask his mother about 10 times just for an address. As far as wedding planning goes I'm all done with the exception of the invites.
[QUOTE]n Response to Re: RSVP's not required? : well that was just plain rude. I had to get them from his mother because no one would call us back for their address. This is what I am getting at. I have called numerous time just to get an address and no one returns calls. I had to ask his mother about 10 times just for an address. As far as wedding planning goes I'm all done with the exception of the invites.
Posted by dlshaffer26[/QUOTE]
What you should have said (or what your FI should have said, since it's his mother) is "If I don't have a contact information list by X date, they are not getting invited."
If you knew about this annual car show and that it's impossible to get hotel rooms last minute; you couldn't get a room 6 months out - why did you wait until now to try to get blocks for your guests?
I got married in Salem MA. October is high tourist season (Halloween and all that) - if you don't book a hotel room a year in advance - you don't get one.
I signed my contracts for the hotels over 1.5 years in advance to ensure my guests would have some place to stay.
[QUOTE]If you're such a planner, it seems to me you would have done a much better job planning and organizing this clusterfuck.
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]
ok apparently I didn't write this correctly. This is my only issue thus far. I have solved the rest. I was only stating how rude it is for someone to not even pick up the phone and to tell someone else. My MIL really didn't want to be a part of this so I'm hearing it from her as to why they can't just pick up the phone
[QUOTE]I would still like an answer to my question: If you knew about this annual car show and that it's impossible to get hotel rooms last minute; you couldn't get a room 6 months out - why did you wait until now to try to get blocks for your guests? I got married in Salem MA. October is high tourist season (Halloween and all that) - if you don't book a hotel room a year in advance - you don't get one. I signed my contracts for the hotels over 1.5 years in advance to ensure my guests would have some place to stay.
Posted by kjhowd[/QUOTE]
Becuse we got engaged in Februrary and the only date I could get for the venue once we found one was August 24th of this year. We sent them out as soon as we knew.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: RSVP's not required? : ok apparently I didn't write this correctly. This is my only issue thus far. I have solved the rest. I was only stating how rude it is for someone to not even pick up the phone and to tell someone else. My MIL really didn't want to be a part of this so I'm hearing it from her as to why they can't just pick up the phone
Posted by dlshaffer26[/QUOTE]
Then tell your FMIL that if you don't hear from them by X date (about 2 weeks before your wedding), then you'll mark them as no.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: RSVP's not required? : Becuse we got engaged in Februrary and the only date I could get for the venue once we found one was August 24th of this year. We sent them out as soon as we knew.
Posted by dlshaffer26[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: RSVP's not required? : Becuse we got engaged in Februrary and the only date I could get for the venue once we found one was August 24th of this year. We sent them out as soon as we knew.
Posted by dlshaffer26[/QUOTE]
It still seems poor planning on your part that you didn't check about what else might be going on and if your OOT guests would actually have a place to stay.
[QUOTE]I still don't understand why you would plan your wedding for the same weekend as this car show. That in itself was poor planning. Am I the only one that looked up the dates of major events in my city before picking a date?
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]
I did too. The park that we got married in is across the water from the Oakland Colliseum. Where the raiders play... and where they hold a LOT of events. A lot of people tailgate in local parks before the games or concerts & stuff. I scheduled my wedding to make sure there were no other events happening in the area that day.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/