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Wedding Party

Please critique my MoH speech!

I am the MoH in my best friend's wedding and have been asked to give a speech at the reception. I'd greatly appreciate any feedback you have to offer. Brutal honesty is fine!
 ***

 Good evening, everyone! For those of you who may not know me, my name is J and I am so honored to be here tonight as Bride's friend and Maid of Honor. I’d like to begin by congratulating Bride and Groom and thanking you all for being here as we celebrate the beginning of their beautiful marriage. I’d also like to thank Mr. and Mrs. X and Mr. and Mrs. Y, as well as the groomsmen and my fellow bridesmaids, for all that they’ve done to make this a special day. 

Now, I'd like to tell you a little story about nachos.

Bride and I are college friends from Alma Mater. We've been friends for nine years now, and in that time we've developed a friendship that I treasure deeply. 

Bride and I met during our first semester of college. I knew she would make a great friend because she radiated kindness, sincerity and happiness, but the moment I knew we were on the road to truly wonderful friendship was when we discovered our shared love of Mexican food. Bride and I we were hanging out in her dorm room one afternoon and she introduced me to her signature study break snack: nachos made with tortilla chips and cheese in the dorm's mini microwave! Looking back on it now, I realize that we had a lot to learn in the way of culinary skills, but I admired her ingenuity and in the months that followed, we shared many laughs and great conversations over those plates of nachos.

Coincidently, ours wasn't the only relationship that began over a plate of shared nachos. Bride and Groom met in Boston on Marathon Monday of 2007. Bride and I, along with some of our other girlfriends, had gone to our favorite Mexican restaurant have dinner after watching the Boston Marathon. While there, Bride was introduced to Groom by a mutual friend, and before long they were sitting side by side, chatting away and sharing a plate of nachos. Groom, you couldn't have known it then, but I think that was the moment that you began to win Bride's heart. 

Bride and I lived together for the remainder of our college years, and it was during that time that Bride came to be my closest friend, my confidant, and my chosen sister. Bride was always a thoughtful, generous, and fun-loving friend - she brought me soup when I had the flu, threw me a surprise 21st birthday party, allowed me to fill our apartment with an endless rotation of elementary school craft projects during my semester student teaching, and even took the time to meticulously foldand organize my mountain of clothes so they'd fit into my tiny dresser.

Gone now are the college days of dancing to “Call on Me” with 80's inspired side ponytails and encouraging each other through late night study sessions, but what remains is my most treasured friendship. Even though we no longer share an apartment and are now separated by many miles across several states, our friendship remains as strong and steadfast as ever. 

Together we've celebrated many extraordinary moments - birthdays, holidays, engagements, graduations, job offers and first homes. And now, we are here today to celebrate one of the happiest days of your life - the day you marry the love of your life and move from being a miss to a misses.

Bride, it has been an honor and a privilege to call you my friend. As you embark on this new chapter of your life together, know that I will always be here for you , and that I wish you and Groom all the best.

So, with that, I would like to propose a toast. Everyone, please raise your glasses...here's to our bride and groom, to love, and to friendship. Cheers!

Re: Please critique my MoH speech!

  • What you're saying is all good, but it's too long. Too much about nachos. Paragraphs 6, 7, and 8 (starting with "bride and I lived together") can be cut by at least half. You could cut the last paragraph entirely, as the 2nd to last paragraph sounds like it should be the end.

    You want it short enough that you can basically memorize it and be looking out to the crowd as you toast instead of having your eyes glued to a piece of paper. You don't want people thinking "jeez how long does this thing go on for?". And your bride will appreciate it just as much!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Holy bejesus -- way too long! My eyes glazed over mid-way through. Also, while I like the nacho story aspect, quite frankly, NO ONE CARES about that much back story. The you/bride bonding over nachos and then the bride/groom meeting over nachos is cute, but you can cut it by at least two-thirds. All of the stuff you say about your friend is really sweet and touching, but I've gotta admit, as a guest, I wouldn't care, and I'd be like, "get to the POINT already!"

    I'd re-work it be more like this:

    Good evening, everyone! For those of you who may not know me, my name is J and I am so honored to be here tonight as Bride's friend and Maid of Honor.

    I'd like to tell you a little story about nachos.

    Bride and I met during our first semester of college, but the moment I knew we were on the road to truly wonderful friendship was when we discovered our shared love of Mexican food. Bride and I we were hanging out in her dorm room one afternoon and she introduced me to her signature study break snack: nachos made with tortilla chips and cheese in the dorm's mini microwave! 

    Ours wasn't the only relationship that began over a plate of shared nachos. Bride and Groom met in Boston on Marathon Monday of 2007. Bride and I, along with some of our other girlfriends, had gone to our favorite Mexican restaurant have dinner after watching the Boston Marathon. While there, Bride was introduced to Groom by a mutual friend, and before long they were sitting side by side, chatting away and sharing a plate of nachos. Groom, you couldn't have known it then, but I think that was the moment that you began to win Bride's heart. 

    [Insert something here about watching them fall in love -- two sentences, top. Keep it short].

    Bride, it has been an honor and a privilege to call you my friend. As you embark on this new chapter of your life together, know that I will always be here for you , and that I wish you and Groom all the best.

    So, with that, I would like to propose a toast. Everyone, please raise your glasses...here's to our bride and groom, to love, and to friendship. Cheers!
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • In Response to Please critique my MoH speech!:
    [QUOTE]I am the MoH in my best friend's wedding and have been asked to give a speech at the reception. I'd greatly appreciate any feedback you have to offer. Brutal honesty is fine! 
     ***   Good evening, everyone! For those of you who may not know me, my name is J and I am so honored to be here tonight as Bride's friend and Maid of Honor. I’d like to begin by congratulating Bride and Groom and thanking you all for being here as we celebrate the beginning of their beautiful marriage. I’d also like to thank Mr. and Mrs. X and Mr. and Mrs. Y, as well as the groomsmen and my fellow bridesmaids, for all that they’ve done to make this a special day.

     Now, I'd like to tell you a little story about nachos. Bride and I are college friends from Alma Mater. We've been friends for nine years now, and in that time we've developed a friendship that I treasure deeply.  Bride and I met during our first semester of college. I knew she would make a great friend because she radiated kindness, sincerity and happiness, but the moment I knew we were on the road to truly wonderful friendship was when we discovered our shared love of Mexican food. Bride and I we were hanging out in her dorm room one afternoon and she introduced me to her signature study break snack: nachos made with tortilla chips and cheese in the dorm's mini microwave! Looking back on it now, I realize that we had a lot to learn in the way of culinary skills, but I admired her ingenuity and in the months that followed, we shared many laughs and great conversations over those plates of nachos.

     Coincidently, ours wasn't the only relationship that began over a plate of shared nachos. Bride and Groom met in Boston on Marathon Monday of 2007. Bride and I, along with some of our other girlfriends, had gone to our favorite Mexican restaurant have dinner after watching the Boston Marathon. While there, Bride was introduced to Groom by a mutual friend, and before long they were sitting side by side, chatting away and sharing a plate of nachos. Groom, you couldn't have known it then, but I think that was the moment that you began to win Bride's heart. 

    Bride and I lived together for the remainder of our college years, and it was during that time that Bride came to be my closest friend, my confidant, and my chosen sister. Bride was always a thoughtful, generous, and fun-loving friend - she brought me soup when I had the flu, threw me a surprise 21st birthday party, allowed me to fill our apartment with an endless rotation of elementary school craft projects during my semester student teaching, and even took the time to meticulously foldand organize my mountain of clothes so they'd fit into my tiny dresser.

    Gone now are the college days of dancing to “Call on Me” with 80's inspired side ponytails and encouraging each other through late night study sessions, but what remains is my most treasured friendship. Even though we no longer share an apartment and are now separated by many miles across several states, our friendship remains as strong and steadfast as ever.


     Together we've celebrated many extraordinary moments - birthdays, holidays, engagements, graduations, job offers and first homes. And now, we are here today to celebrate one of the happiest days of your life - the day you marry the love of your life and move from being a miss to a misses. Bride, it has been an honor and a privilege to call you my friend. As you embark on this new chapter of your life together, know that I will always be here for you , and that I wish you and Groom all the best. So, with that, I would like to propose a toast. Everyone, please raise your glasses...here's to our bride and groom, to love, and to friendship. Cheers!
    Posted by beautythatmoves[/QUOTE]

    It's lovely, but really long. I'd get rid of the bolded and see how long it takes you to say all of that. I like the nacho story - very cute. Keep it sweet and short!
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to Re: Please critique my MoH speech!:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Please critique my MoH speech! : lemclane's edit is a much better length.
    Posted by missax[/QUOTE]

    I agree.  The original speech is just too long.
  • I like Retread's. I personally like toasts about the couple, not long speeches about nachos. Sorry. JMO. 
  • I like the nacho story, just take out some of the extra details.
    image


    Anniversary
  • Keep in mind the modern American attention span is approxomately 30 seconds. We had really short toasts at our wedding, and our pictures are STILL filled with people paying absolutely no attention.

    Keep it short, keep it meaningful.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

    image

    Anniversary

  • kerbohlkerbohl member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I like the nacho story, especially since it ties the bride to both you and the groom.  But there are some things that can be taken out.  Other than it needing to be a bit shorter, I like it!

  • I also think it is too long.  Clearly there are a number of ways you can shorten it.  This is how I would.  Inside jokes about side ponytails and a tiny dresser are going to fall flat with an audience, and I think it's presumptive to say you know better than the groom when she fell in love with him (I get you're trying to be cute, it just comes off wrong).

     

    Good evening, everyone! For those of you who may not know me, my name is J and I am so honored to be here tonight as Bride's friend and Maid of Honor.  

    Bride and I are college friends from Alma Mater. We met during our first semester of college. The moment I knew we were on the road to truly wonderful friendship was when we discovered our shared love of Mexican food. Bride and I we were hanging out in her dorm room one afternoon and she introduced me to her signature study break snack: nachos made with tortilla chips and cheese in the dorm's mini microwave!

    Coincidently, ours wasn't the only relationship that began over a plate of shared nachos. After the 2007 Boston Marathon Bride and I, along with some of our other girlfriends, had gone to our favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner.  That night Bride was introduced to Groom by a mutual friend, and before long they were sitting side by side, chatting away and sharing a plate of nachos.  

    Bride, together we've celebrated many extraordinary moments. And now, we are here today to celebrate one of the happiest days of your life - the day you marry the love of your life and move from being a miss to a misses.  It has been an honor and a privilege to call you my friend. As you embark on this new chapter of your life together, know that I will always be here for you , and that I wish you and Groom all the best.  Cheers!
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