Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Champagne toast

I know it's rude to do a champagne toast where only the wedding party gets champagne, but what about the bride and groom only having champagne? We are waiting to hear back from our caterer if they charge extra to have champagne glasses for everyone. We are definitely nixing the idea entirely if it's rude and if they charge extra for the glasses themselves.

The reason I'm asking is a guest really wants pictures of us with champagne glasses (she's making them for us), but I'd rather risk being rude to them by explaining we can't do it than be rude to all of our guests by drinking champagne in front of them. I know I wouldn't think twice if I saw this at a wedding, but I tend to overlook a lot of things like this. 

Re: Champagne toast

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    Rude to have champagne just for the 2 of you. Not rude to fill the glasses she made with another beverage that you are offering to your guests.
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    Ditto starmoon.  It would be rude to only have it for select people, but you can toast with whatever you are drinking at the time.
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    We had champagne flutes without a drop of champagne in the reception hall.  I had my wine poured into mine and H mostly drank beer from the glasses that everyone else was drinking beer out of.  Echoing what PPs have said, fill the glass with a white wine and take a picture.  It will look just like champagne but won't be rude towards your guests.  Only eat/drink what is also available to your guests.  The bride and groom are equal to their guests, they shouldn't have any special food/drinks soley because they just got married that day.

    (Note: all of our 21+ y/o guests had the option of drinking the same wine/beer, free of charge.  As the B/G, we did not have any special drinks just for us.)
    Where there is love, there is life.-Ghandi
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    Gumby68Gumby68 member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    I was planning on white wine for myself during the wedding anyway, so I'll just go with that--it never dawned on me to do that and I'm not sure why. 

    I guess that also has me a little concerned about the food. We haven't decided on our final menu yet, but both myself and my Fi are restricted to a gluten-free diet. Do we absolutely need to serve our guests the same food as we are having or is it ok that ours is modified as long as it is similar? 
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    It's not okay for the couple to be served champagne when nobody else is, but it is okay to have similar foods if there's a medical dietary issue.
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    In Response to Re:Champagne toast:[QUOTE]I was planning on white wine for myself during the wedding anyway, so I'll just go with thatit never dawned on me to do that and I'm not sure why.nbsp;I guess that also has me a little concerned about the food. We haven't decided on our final menu yet, but both myself and my Fi are restricted to a glutenfree diet. Do we absolutely need to serve our guests the same food as we are having or is it ok that ours is modified as long as it is similar?nbsp; Posted by Gumby68[/QUOTE] It's fine if it's modified for gluten. Just offer anyone else who wants it, too.
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    I agree just put another drink in the glasses.

    As far as the modified food for you, I need to see the menu before commenting.  In theory you can serve everyone pasta and you have steak because it's gluten free.  But as a general rule I make it an option for everyone.  






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    The only way it would be ok is if you did a private toast in your hotel room with no one else there. Why does this guest want a photo of you toasting with champagne so badly? Did they buy you your toasting flutes? If so, just use wine. If not, I see no reason to make your guests feel left out for the sake of a photo.
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    In Response to Re:Champagne toast:[QUOTE]I was planning on white wine for myself during the wedding anyway, so I'll just go with thatit never dawned on me to do that and I'm not sure why.nbsp;I guess that also has me a little concerned about the food. We haven't decided on our final menu yet, but both myself and my Fi are restricted to a glutenfree diet. Do we absolutely need to serve our guests the same food as we are having or is it ok that ours is modified as long as it is similar?nbsp; Posted by Gumby68[/QUOTE] Most venues have a gluten free option upon request. Can you make whatever you plan to eat the gluten free option?This way anyone who needs it has that option. That's what I'm doing with the vegetarian option at our wedding. The venue even agreed to change the typical veggie option from a boring pasta to eggplant Parmesan. If they wouldn't, I would have ordered the boring pasta so I didn't have a different meal not available to others. So I would first ask what their typical gluten free meal is and see if they can change it for everyone if it's lame. If not I would have them make something as close as possible to the guests' menu for you and your husband.
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    Gumby68Gumby68 member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    The modifications will be very minimal as in if we're having pasta, ours will be gluten-free pasta, or if there is a gravy or sauce that uses flour, ours will use corn starch instead. The food will be exactly the same, except ours will be gluten-free versions. 

    More than likely, we're just going to do the whole thing gluten-free and stick with easy stuff  so there is no chance mine gets mixed up with something else or contaminated by something else. 
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    In Response to Re: Champagne toast:
    [QUOTE]I was planning on white wine for myself during the wedding anyway, so I'll just go with that--it never dawned on me to do that and I'm not sure why.  I guess that also has me a little concerned about the food. We haven't decided on our final menu yet, but both myself and my Fi are restricted to a gluten-free diet. Do we absolutely need to serve our guests the same food as we are having or is it ok that ours is modified as long as it is similar? 
    Posted by Gumby68[/QUOTE]

    Because it is an allergy issue, no you don't have to. My H is gluten free, plus some other allergies. He got a plate of food straight from the kitchen, pre-made, while the rest of us ate at the buffet. I had a few gluten free guests without the extra allergies, and they ate from the buffet too- but if they had asked, we would have ordered them a pre-made plate.
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    Angelface225Angelface225 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited May 2013
    In Response to Re: Champagne toast:
    [QUOTE]The modifications will be very minimal as in if we're having pasta, ours will be gluten-free pasta, or if there is a gravy or sauce that uses flour, ours will use corn starch instead. The food will be exactly the same, except ours will be gluten-free versions.  More than likely, we're just going to do the whole thing gluten-free and stick with easy stuff  so there is no chance mine gets mixed up with something else or contaminated by something else. 
    Posted by Gumby68[/QUOTE]

    We're doing our whole meal GF too for me! :-) It will be so refreshing to not have to worry about food for a night, and no one will notice the difference anyway.

     

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