Wedding dress stress - I am now a 2-dress bride. Pick one or wear both? (pic heavy)

OjitosVerdes

I know - I'm side eyeing/eye rolling myself. Will try to keep this succinct. I never planned to get two dresses, but I have one from a previous, cancelled wedding that I never wore or sold. FI was ok with me wearing it, although he hoped I'd pick out something new for "our" wedding. So I did.  But then I tried my old gown on a few days ago to take pictures so I could list it/sell it online, and realized how much I truly love it still. The dresses are somewhat similar in their design, but the old dress is very much an elegant ballgown, and the new dress is more modern and sexy.  Here are some pics them. 

Old dress: (I'm straight out of the shower with no make up and a leetle scary!)

New dress: 

When I got my new dress, the plan was to wear the bolero, belt and veil at the ceremony then shed them at the reception for a more modern look. 

But now I am so, so torn - while I love the new one, it doesn't have the "wow" factor of the old one. I didn't really believe that there is one dress for every bride, but I feel like my old one was my one special dress. (Go ahead and eyeroll again). 

However, the old one is heavy, hot and difficult to move in, although it would be perfect for our ceremony in our Spanish colonial style church.  So my question for you ladies is (assuming FI is still ok with me wearing the old one) do I: 

1. Wear the old one for the ceremony, and the new one (sans bolero and veil) to the reception

2. Just wear the new one - bolero/veil/etc. for the ceremony then off for the reception. 

3. Wear the old one for ceremony and reception. This is my least favorite option, because as much as I love the dress, it is really hard to wear. 

I have been SO laid back about the wedding planning, but the dresses have brought the obsessive side out in me. I'd appreciate your opinions! Thanks ladies!

QueerFemme

Personally, I think the new one looks much better on you.    I also think the way the first dress folds over at your waist is a little odd, but that may be just because it's wrinkled. 

But, really, the choice is really up to you.  I do think, that if you do decide to wear the first one, you should just wear it all night.  I think when brides change into a "reception" dress, it should be less formal than their wedding gown. The second dress isn't less formal at all.

OjitosVerdes

cmgilpin said:

Personally, I think the new one looks much better on you.    I also think the way the first dress folds over at your waist is a little odd, but that may be just because it's wrinkled. 

But, really, the choice is really up to you.  I do think, that if you do decide to wear the first one, you should just wear it all night.  I think when brides change into a "reception" dress, it should be less formal than their wedding gown. The second dress isn't less formal at all.

That is a really good point. I like that it isn't because I still wanted something that would look very bridal, but it could also be perceived as being really diva-ish. 

The old dress definitely still needs some alterations so the draping lays just right and you're right that it's really wrinkled, but I'm happy to hear that you actually like the new one better. I have myself so worked up that if I don't somehow wear the old one that I'll miss out on really feeling like a bride, and that's not necessarily true. I seriously lost sleep over this last night. I need to calm the hell down. 

Thanks for your thoughts!

FizzySips

IMO, dress #2 all the way. You are totally glowing in it.

TiaTea

I like both on you. But to me they "speak" in a diffrent way.

The first one makes me think of a more "romantic", in a fairy tail kind of way,  person. Also "daddy's little girl" and "my beutiful princess" .
I am not saying it in a bad way.

The second one - more of a "now" and "self reliant" person.

I don't think of either as a better or worse. Just different.
So if I were you, I'd chose based on my personality. To use the "wow moment " that you mentioned : It shoud be "Wow, this IS the person I fell in love with!" , not "Wow, WHO is this person ?"

Being that I would see a dress as a personality expression, I wouldn;t change to a difefrent "personality" at some point of the wedding.

Again, this is my perception of what each dress would convey. Someone else may see them differently as a way of  expression.

boomboom1243

they are so similar in design. I would say wear them both the gown for the ceremony and the other one for reception.

Fernella

You look great in both but #2 is so stunning on you that I'd go with that one!

lookame3639

Well the first dress is very pretty however I feel like your second dress makes you look...amazing! A lines on a tiny person tend to hide their shape.

lookame3639

I wanted to add that I am also very tiny and whenever I tried on an aline dress I was immediatly shot down because theymade me look bigger and I got lost Iin the dress rather than shined.

JennaMichelle88

2 is definitely more my style, but 1 does have a wow factor. If make sure your FI is really ok with you wearing the old one before you fret about it too much, though. And I LOVE that lace bolero!

MKmuss13

Ohmigosh, dress two! Dress two, dress two, dress two! So flattering, and VERY bridal!

Karmasmom

I have to say that while I like the style of the first dress, the second dress looks amazing on you. Love the bolero! It's your choice, but if your FI is hoping that you'll wear something selected just for this wedding, then IMO, I think you have your answer.

OjitosVerdes

TiaTea said:

I like both on you. But to me they "speak" in a diffrent way.

The first one makes me think of a more "romantic", in a fairy tail kind of way,  person. Also "daddy's little girl" and "my beutiful princess" .
I am not saying it in a bad way.

The second one - more of a "now" and "self reliant" person.

I don't think of either as a better or worse. Just different.
So if I were you, I'd chose based on my personality. To use the "wow moment " that you mentioned : It shoud be "Wow, this IS the person I fell in love with!" , not "Wow, WHO is this person ?"

Being that I would see a dress as a personality expression, I wouldn;t change to a difefrent "personality" at some point of the wedding.

Again, this is my perception of what each dress would convey. Someone else may see them differently as a way of  expression.

Thanks so much ladies - you are awesome!  I really appreciate the outside perspective and all your opinions. Tia - I think you hit the nail on the head with this - I totally agree with how you've interpreted the two looks. And it's interesting - it is people like my mom who really love number 1 - who still see me as their "little girl", etc. - and my best friend and sister who really know me love #2.  

I'm definitely not a little girl/blushing young bride. I'll be 35 the day I get married, and that's a factor I should maybe take into consideration.  I also consider myself pretty independent/modern/etc. - I do think the second dress does convey that, and it makes me feel kind of like a bada$$.

I was talking to my mom last night and even said - the second one feels like "me", but the first one looks like I always imagined I'd look on my wedding day. But what you said about using the wow moment - so totally true!!!

Thanks again, ladies - I feel a lot calmer about it this morning and appreciate you all weighing in. 

katyb213

I love the second dress! You look so happy in it

OjitosVerdes

CMGr said:

I like the first one.  I'm not a fan of bubble hems, like the second one has.  I'm not a bling girl, either.  JMHO.

I don't like bubble hems either - the second dress actually doesn't have one, but because the sample gown was so long it kind of pooled on the floor making it look like it did. The bling is a removable belt, although I kinda like a touch of sparkle. Not sure if that changes your opinion or not.

d2va

I loveeee the second dress. You look fabulous in it! 

Sell the first, be more comfortable and beautiful at your wedding! 

daria24

I vote #2 as well. But I'm also not a fan of a big ball gown. It's too Southern Belle for me, but I'm a cranky New Yorker, so the Antebellum look isn't my thing.

JoanE2012

I normally like the classic A-Line/ball gown, but there's something about that first dress that I don't like.  I can't quite place it.  I think it's all that ruching extending from the front all the way around the back.

I really like the 2nd dress on you.  I think you should stick with that.  And as a PP mentioned, they are both on the same level of formality, so if you switch between the two, that will look really AWish.

OjitosVerdes

Thanks again, everyone! I truly appreciate all the input, and #2 it is! 

Viczaesar

I agree with the others, #2 is stunning on you.  And I love the jeweled belt with it and the bolero.

msuprincess04

I like the second dress on you. But, I gotta ask, what is the first one? I want to try that one on!

[Deleted User]

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Lowell14

I like the second dress on you. Both are beuatiful but i find the first dress is a bit overwhelming on you. I really like the second dress with the bolero that can be removed and its like a different dress

OjitosVerdes

msuprincess04 said:

I like the second dress on you. But, I gotta ask, what is the first one? I want to try that one on!

Hey there!  It's a Romona Keveza that I believe is no longer made. (Although you could call the house and ask - the style is "Grace")  I bought it back in 2005. What size do you need - I'll sell it to you! LOL. 

DianaMick1215

DEFINITELY the 2nd one! I love the bolero for the ceremony, it looks like a part of the dress! and it looks so flattering and, like you said, more modern. You have a petite frame and the second dress looks great on you. Sell the first as a "never worn" and make some money back!

beautifulmama28

i love the ballgown! But I like the other one too, especially with the lace bolero, just beautiful!

But if I had to choose between the two I say ballgown

STARMOON44

Number 2 is so beautiful! Congrats

csweaney

In all honesty, I think the new gown has more of a "WOW" factor. All the elements make it something truly special and unique and I think it flatters your figure in a much more dramatic way. In the second dress, YOU look like you're wearing IT. While in the initial ball gown I feel that it was wearing you (since you're so adorable and petite)

I say go second, new gown all the way!

[Deleted User]

Definitely love the new one. And since they are both fairly traditional (not like a slinky dress that isn't at all traditionally "bridal" if you know what I mean), I think just choose one. But of course, whatever you decide you want to do is what you SHOULD do. If you do choose both, I'd keep the full one for the ceremony, as it will be more cumbersome dancing.

reneeken

You have fabulous taste!  Both gowns are really beautiful.  But I'm with the majority here in saying the 2nd one -- the gown on its own is stunning, but the bolero was literally breathtaking when I saw it!  Plus, it shows off your terrific figure so much better than the ball gown.  If ya got it, flaunt it!

My vote:  Dress two with bolero & veil for ceremony, then shed them for the reception.

  

While it sounds like the first dress would match well with your venue, I think that between the lace bolero and the long veil, your second dress will have a lot of presence as well as bit of tradition, and work nicely in the church setting.

Then at the reception, you'll look glamourous and chic, and be able to enjoy yourself in a dress that is comfortable, that looks great on you, instead of being weighed down by a bulky, albeit beautiful dress.

If you're still having trouble deciding, there's one other reason to go with the second dress:  no matter how gracious your fiance is being about the first dress, it probably will mean a lot to him to know that on your wedding day you're wearing a dress you picked out for him -- not to mention, he'd probably prefer the sexier silhouette of the 2nd dress to the 1st one anyway!

Hope this helps.  Just know you'll look fantastic no matter what you choose!

reneeken

Just noticed that you posted above that you were going with dress 2 -- I somehow skipped over it.  

Excellent choice!  You look gorgeous!  Enjoy your day!

P.S.  If your fiance doesn't know you were having qualms about going back to your first dress, there's probably no need to mention it to him at this point.

What can I say?  I'm a busybody...